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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

487 replies

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:05

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 21:38

ATenShun · 20/08/2024 20:40

So explain to me how wearing this mask stops the virus particles getting into the body via the ears or eyes. What about when some snot filled teenager has sneezed with fallout landing on his desk, where teacher then places her hands unknowingly. Same scenario on staircases. Door handles.

What's your point? Washing hands will mitigate against the rarer chance of wiping virus particles into your eyes or ears. If you are wearing a mask your nose & mouth is protected. However, the science has shown repeatedly that covid is predominantly transmitted through the air. Hospitals & studies have proven using masks dramatically reduce transmission. Likewise they have also demonstrated using HEPA filters - cleaning the air - removed covid and stopped transmission. Covid is airborne. Washing hands is great general hygiene practice but won't protect you from the primary risk of airborne transmission. No one is saying wear a mask and stop all other forms of hygiene - but hand washing is not going to stop airborne transmission which is the primary cause.

ATenShun · 20/08/2024 20:40

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 19:46

AntI WHO rubbish. There's plenty of other sources all saying the same thing.
https://www2.hse.ie/conditions/covid19/preventing-the-spread/how-coronavirus-spread/

You are also wrong regarding masks - FFP2/3 are proven to protect the wearer.

So explain to me how wearing this mask stops the virus particles getting into the body via the ears or eyes. What about when some snot filled teenager has sneezed with fallout landing on his desk, where teacher then places her hands unknowingly. Same scenario on staircases. Door handles.

ArabellaScott · 20/08/2024 20:04

CinnamonSwirlGirl · 20/08/2024 13:47

@Mumoftwo1316 Yes, please do give up. The only person giving medical misinformation is you. Many people on this thread know what they’re talking about, and have clearly either got scientific / medical backgrounds or have kept on top of the actual research (not just YouTube videos and Daily Mail articles telling you what you want to hear, then insisting they’re some sort of “mainstream”, proven understanding against all evidence, just because you don’t understand science / can’t face the reality!).

Thankfully the OP is a smart cookie and clearly knows how to keep herself and her baby safe, but someone else may come on and read your comments and put themselves / their baby at unnecessary risk 😞.

Also the gaslighting and awful comments to the OP from a number of posters. I really hope this hasn’t created unnecessary stress for her in what must be a worrying time 😞.

Of course lay people know less than trained medics. I'd bloody hope so! But we all need to do our best to understand virus transmission and immunity as best we can to try and help social health and protect vulnerable people.

Advice offered without mockery is usually better received.

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 19:46

AntI WHO rubbish. There's plenty of other sources all saying the same thing.
https://www2.hse.ie/conditions/covid19/preventing-the-spread/how-coronavirus-spread/

You are also wrong regarding masks - FFP2/3 are proven to protect the wearer.

ATenShun · 20/08/2024 17:11

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 17:05

Absolutely not true. The fact its 18mths old and there are plenty more and increasing as time goes by shows we have growing global evidence of the harm covid does. Covid is airborne - you are far more likely to catch it from breathing in infected air. A mask is going to offer far more protection than hand gel.
www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/coronavirus-disease-covid-19-how-is-it-transmitted

I'd also suggest you google the name of the author in that piece, and see the controversy that surrounds him in several other reports.

ATenShun · 20/08/2024 17:09

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 17:05

Absolutely not true. The fact its 18mths old and there are plenty more and increasing as time goes by shows we have growing global evidence of the harm covid does. Covid is airborne - you are far more likely to catch it from breathing in infected air. A mask is going to offer far more protection than hand gel.
www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/coronavirus-disease-covid-19-how-is-it-transmitted

As I believe a PP pointed out to you. Masks are effective at stopping the wearer from spreading an airborne virus. They are nowhere near as effective at stopping you from catching one, due to the countless other points of contamination we come in contact with daily.

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 17:05

ATenShun · 20/08/2024 16:41

That particular study is about 18 months old. I'm always sceptical about some of these studies when like in this case, they are written by those who will directly benefit from people believing them.

More fear about it, more funding and a more secure job for the author.

OP, do what you feel is right for you. The likeliest source for picking up infection of any kind is hand to face contamination. How many times do you place your hands on eg a bannister, a table, students books. Then how many times do you scratch your nose, your ear, cover a sneeze.
Alcohol gel would be a better means of protecting yourself than a mask imo.

Edited

Absolutely not true. The fact its 18mths old and there are plenty more and increasing as time goes by shows we have growing global evidence of the harm covid does. Covid is airborne - you are far more likely to catch it from breathing in infected air. A mask is going to offer far more protection than hand gel.
www.who.int/news-room/questions-and-answers/item/coronavirus-disease-covid-19-how-is-it-transmitted

ATenShun · 20/08/2024 17:01

doce · 20/08/2024 16:54

I'm afraid the science is very much against you on the most likely source of infection for Covid - airborne transmission is by far the most likely.

Please read what I said. The likeliest source for any infection. Also the NHS advice on the spread of it states coming into contact with it on surfaces contaminated by other peoples sneezes, coughs etc.

As PP's have said, unless you wear essentially a full mask and visor with your ears plugged, and then adhere to strict protocol in a sterile room when removing them. They really aren't massively effective.

doce · 20/08/2024 16:54

ATenShun · 20/08/2024 16:41

That particular study is about 18 months old. I'm always sceptical about some of these studies when like in this case, they are written by those who will directly benefit from people believing them.

More fear about it, more funding and a more secure job for the author.

OP, do what you feel is right for you. The likeliest source for picking up infection of any kind is hand to face contamination. How many times do you place your hands on eg a bannister, a table, students books. Then how many times do you scratch your nose, your ear, cover a sneeze.
Alcohol gel would be a better means of protecting yourself than a mask imo.

Edited

I'm afraid the science is very much against you on the most likely source of infection for Covid - airborne transmission is by far the most likely.

ATenShun · 20/08/2024 16:41

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 07:46

Unfortunately it is mainstream science covid is damaging our immune system.
www.infectioncontroltoday.com/view/covid-19-study-suggests-long-term-damage-immune-system

That particular study is about 18 months old. I'm always sceptical about some of these studies when like in this case, they are written by those who will directly benefit from people believing them.

More fear about it, more funding and a more secure job for the author.

OP, do what you feel is right for you. The likeliest source for picking up infection of any kind is hand to face contamination. How many times do you place your hands on eg a bannister, a table, students books. Then how many times do you scratch your nose, your ear, cover a sneeze.
Alcohol gel would be a better means of protecting yourself than a mask imo.

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 16:04

Mumoftwo1316 · 20/08/2024 10:45

Honestly that is not what context means.

I took the topic sentence of the abstract. That is the context and summary.

You've taken a very specific sentence much more out of context than I have. What is the Th2 serum cytokine profile? What significance does that have on the body's overall immunity? Is it crucial or can the immune system cope without it?

The vast majority of laymen including myself does not know the answer to these questions. That's what the abstract is for! That's why quoting the abstract is more useful.

I'm really trying here, in good faith, to explain medical misinformation online but I'm close to giving up

Please do give up as honestly you don't seem to know what context means. You also highlight perfectly why I first attached a summary article about studies from a Science magazine, because the actual studies can be hard going for lay people.

Mumoftwo1316 · 20/08/2024 14:41

CinnamonSwirlGirl · 20/08/2024 13:47

@Mumoftwo1316 Yes, please do give up. The only person giving medical misinformation is you. Many people on this thread know what they’re talking about, and have clearly either got scientific / medical backgrounds or have kept on top of the actual research (not just YouTube videos and Daily Mail articles telling you what you want to hear, then insisting they’re some sort of “mainstream”, proven understanding against all evidence, just because you don’t understand science / can’t face the reality!).

Thankfully the OP is a smart cookie and clearly knows how to keep herself and her baby safe, but someone else may come on and read your comments and put themselves / their baby at unnecessary risk 😞.

Also the gaslighting and awful comments to the OP from a number of posters. I really hope this hasn’t created unnecessary stress for her in what must be a worrying time 😞.

I've never watched a YouTube video about covid in my life.

I think I've demonstrated though that I understand the significance of an abstract in an academic scientific article. I'm not going to try and convince you of my scientific background.

I will indeed give up.

ReturnfromtheStars · 20/08/2024 14:12

@EmsHugs my child's best teacher was wearing a mask the whole school year (I happened to know the reason but it really doesn't matter) and she was amazing.

Some people just love to complain, others have genuine reasons but if said parent is not willing to engage in conversation I would be dubious. Rather than tell them your reasons a conversation would be about how best to support the child.

TheRoseBear · 20/08/2024 13:49

Do you teach a core subject if you see the child four times each week in a secondary school? If so, could the child not be moved into the next set/a different class? Presumably, there won't be massive differences in ability and pace between your class and the next one. Once you go on maternity leave there will be changes anyway.

CinnamonSwirlGirl · 20/08/2024 13:47

@Mumoftwo1316 Yes, please do give up. The only person giving medical misinformation is you. Many people on this thread know what they’re talking about, and have clearly either got scientific / medical backgrounds or have kept on top of the actual research (not just YouTube videos and Daily Mail articles telling you what you want to hear, then insisting they’re some sort of “mainstream”, proven understanding against all evidence, just because you don’t understand science / can’t face the reality!).

Thankfully the OP is a smart cookie and clearly knows how to keep herself and her baby safe, but someone else may come on and read your comments and put themselves / their baby at unnecessary risk 😞.

Also the gaslighting and awful comments to the OP from a number of posters. I really hope this hasn’t created unnecessary stress for her in what must be a worrying time 😞.

FrippEnos · 20/08/2024 13:40

doce · 20/08/2024 13:09

That is utter nonsense. I can only assume that you’re antivax and get your information from the Daily Express. What possible pleasure can people like you get from posting deliberate disinformation on websites?

@doce
TBH anyone that uses the term "face nappy" isn't worth your time.
Its better to just not engage with them.

doce · 20/08/2024 13:09

DragonGypsyDoris · 20/08/2024 08:06

If you think a mask will protect you (it won't) then you also need to wear close-fitting goggles and plug your ears - because they are other routes for viruses to enter the body. Obviously you can't wear all that, so you either need to calm down or go off sick with anxiety ... because you will not be an effective communicator with a face nappy on.

That is utter nonsense. I can only assume that you’re antivax and get your information from the Daily Express. What possible pleasure can people like you get from posting deliberate disinformation on websites?

Mumoftwo1316 · 20/08/2024 10:45

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 09:07

Quoting an opening sentence out of context hardly proves anything. Here's a quote from same study "COVID-19 causes long-term reduction of innate and adaptive immune cells which is associated with a Th2 serum cytokine profile. "
On the scale of things, yes, 'little is known' because its a new illness. However it is becoming more apparent as more studies take place that covid is causing long term damage. You can minimise covid as much as you like - it doesn't change the develping facts.

Honestly that is not what context means.

I took the topic sentence of the abstract. That is the context and summary.

You've taken a very specific sentence much more out of context than I have. What is the Th2 serum cytokine profile? What significance does that have on the body's overall immunity? Is it crucial or can the immune system cope without it?

The vast majority of laymen including myself does not know the answer to these questions. That's what the abstract is for! That's why quoting the abstract is more useful.

I'm really trying here, in good faith, to explain medical misinformation online but I'm close to giving up

BusyMum47 · 20/08/2024 09:23

@EmsHugs

Just wanted to say that I can't believe how much sh!t you've gotten on this thread! You are completely & understandably within your rights to wear a mask for a while.

Dear God, yet again, more teaching bashing from ignorant people who have no bloody idea what the job involves. You clearly care about your students & are not in any way damaging their education or mental health by wearing a mask - especially at Secondary level when they're perfectly old enough to understand your explanation.

The persistent complainer needs to be firmly put in her place, once & for all, by your SLT.

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 09:07

Mumoftwo1316 · 20/08/2024 08:54

I clicked on one of those at random (the last one) and in the very first paragraph it says "little is known about long term effects of covid-19 on the immune system".

Which is my point. They might be looking for correlations and initially think they see some. But that needs a lot of peer review and corroboration before it is mainstream consensus.

What is mainstream consensus is that isolation means your immunity to fast changing viruses becomes less up to date. Hence worse summer colds.

Edit to make quote word-for-word

Edited

Quoting an opening sentence out of context hardly proves anything. Here's a quote from same study "COVID-19 causes long-term reduction of innate and adaptive immune cells which is associated with a Th2 serum cytokine profile. "
On the scale of things, yes, 'little is known' because its a new illness. However it is becoming more apparent as more studies take place that covid is causing long term damage. You can minimise covid as much as you like - it doesn't change the develping facts.

WittyCat · 20/08/2024 08:55

I do not think you are being unreasonable at all. Teaching in a secondary school is hard. Being pregnant is hard. So teaching in a secondary school while pregnant, after fertility issues and everything you have been through must be incredibly challenging and a worrying time for you.

I am not a doctor - or an armchair covid expert - but I think if wearing the mask makes you feel better and more comfortable being in your classroom, then it is completely within your right to do so. Especially with the support of your school.

Everyone saying it hinders a child’s education are stating their opinion as though it is a proven fact. There are a lot of things that hinder a child’s education but a teacher wearing a mask in a classroom is not one of them.

The parent needs to wind their neck in. It is your classroom. If their child is so anxious about you wearing a mask that it is hindering their learning, then they need to move classes. Or take their class work to complete in a different classroom during your lesson.

There are plenty of ways to support the student with their anxiety that do not involve you giving in to the parent’s demands and jeopardising your own mental and physical well-being. Or providing the parent with your personal health information. Even if your pregnancy won’t be a secret forever, the issues you’ve had in getting to this stage are private - and you absolutely should not have to share them with a parent.

This has turned into a bit of a rant - and I’m sorry for that - but as a secondary school teacher myself, I am sick of parents like the one you have mentioned.

Mumoftwo1316 · 20/08/2024 08:54

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 08:48

The magazine will be quoting on the studies, makes it an easier read for most.

Plenty of studies out there.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10721820/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10834368/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10061413/

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/all.16210

Not sure how many you would like?

I clicked on one of those at random (the last one) and in the very first paragraph it says "little is known about long term effects of covid-19 on the immune system".

Which is my point. They might be looking for correlations and initially think they see some. But that needs a lot of peer review and corroboration before it is mainstream consensus.

What is mainstream consensus is that isolation means your immunity to fast changing viruses becomes less up to date. Hence worse summer colds.

Edit to make quote word-for-word

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 08:53

Mumoftwo1316 · 19/08/2024 15:43

Op has spoken to her GP who didn't specifically recommend masking (but implied she could if she wanted). The GP also didn't suggest bringing the standard vaccines forward.

Op is doing all this outside and beyond medical advice. Perhaps partly due to Internet misinformation about "Covid weakening our immune systems".

Mainstream medical advice is for pregnant women to live their lives as normal. Including catching the ordinary amount of coughs and colds that you would usually catch.

Mainstream medical advice is that covid is a risk to pregnancy which is why they are advised to have the vaccine.
https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/pregnancy-and-covid-19/#:~:text=If%20you're%20pregnant%2C%20you,have%20symptoms%20of%20COVID%2D19.

nhs.uk

Pregnancy and COVID-19

If you're pregnant, read about how COVID-19 could affect you, your baby and your pregnancy care.

https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/pregnancy-and-covid-19#:~:text=If%20you're%20pregnant%2C%20you,have%20symptoms%20of%20COVID%2D19.

mumatlast14 · 20/08/2024 08:48

Mumoftwo1316 · 20/08/2024 08:15

One or two tentative studies, reported in a magazine, do not constitute mainstream scientific consensus.

I could post reams of random magazine articles that say "a study suggests" broccoli causes cancer or swimming cures ADHD or something, because one flawed study initially found a spurious correlation.

The magazine will be quoting on the studies, makes it an easier read for most.

Plenty of studies out there.
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10721820/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10834368/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10061413/

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/all.16210

Not sure how many you would like?

Long-COVID-19: the persisting imprint of SARS-CoV-2 infections on the innate immune system

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC10721820

LuckySantangelo35 · 20/08/2024 08:30

DragonGypsyDoris · 20/08/2024 08:06

If you think a mask will protect you (it won't) then you also need to wear close-fitting goggles and plug your ears - because they are other routes for viruses to enter the body. Obviously you can't wear all that, so you either need to calm down or go off sick with anxiety ... because you will not be an effective communicator with a face nappy on.

@DragonGypsyDoris

”face nappy”

yeah right. Good job OP can do what she wants isn’t it and that she has her schools support 😀