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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

487 replies

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:05

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:51

Charlieeeeee · 19/08/2024 08:49

As soon as I seen the post about wearing a mask it was 100% obvious that most people would be commenting "why are you wearing a mask" and I wasn't wrong. The OPs question wasn't about whether she should wear a mask or not, she's already made her choice to wear one. At what point have I tried to shut down a discussion? My opinion is as valid as yours.

You've labelled people as anti mask when they have made valid points - what's that if not shutting down? 🤔

NeedSomeAnswersPlease · 19/08/2024 08:50

Hairyfairy01 · 19/08/2024 08:49

I wouldn't let a parent bully me into not wearing one but I would address my health anxiety.

It's not health anxiety when you're immunocompromised and in the middle of a high risk pregnancy.

Charlieeeeee · 19/08/2024 08:49

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:44

'Expected anti mask comments'
Eh?
Are you trying to shut down reasonable discussion by labelling it all something it actually isn't, perchance?

As soon as I seen the post about wearing a mask it was 100% obvious that most people would be commenting "why are you wearing a mask" and I wasn't wrong. The OPs question wasn't about whether she should wear a mask or not, she's already made her choice to wear one. At what point have I tried to shut down a discussion? My opinion is as valid as yours.

Hairyfairy01 · 19/08/2024 08:49

I wouldn't let a parent bully me into not wearing one but I would address my health anxiety.

HollyGolightly4 · 19/08/2024 08:48

I can guarantee that the majority of posters have not been in a poorly-ventilated, stuffy classroom after a wet lunch with 35 (occasionally unhygienic!) teenagers. Illness is generally inevitable.

I couldn't teach in a mask (delivery of material) but I'd put it on when circulating for live marking, monitoring etc- could this be an option?

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:48

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:46

Due to a health condition since my teens I have been considered immuno compromised. My pregnancy is considered high risk. I am due in the coming weeks ro get a number of vaccinations to protect me and my baby but until then I feel a mask will potentially reduce my risk slightly. I have explained to the parent I may be willing to dicuss this in 4 weeks after further treatment but they keep going on and insisting the mask goes. Not comparing myself to those who have cancer ( have had it myself ) but just saying other staff members in school have worn masks

Again, you might have included this at the start.
You are drip feeding OP.

Frowningprovidence · 19/08/2024 08:48

It's none of their business.
Has occupational health got an opinion? Your work shoukd have access to one

With whopping cough rates what they are, I'd wear a mask until your vaccine works too if that's what makes you comfortable

Superstar22 · 19/08/2024 08:47

A comprehensive new review published in Clinical Microbiology Reviews provides strong evidence that masks and respirators are effective in reducing the transmission of respiratory infections like COVID-19. The review, conducted by an international team of 13 researchers, analysed over 400 studies from multiple disciplines, including epidemiology, public health, engineering, and social sciences.

'Our review confirms that masks work, with a clear dose-response effect,' said lead author Professor Trisha Greenhalgh from the Nuffield Department of Primary Care Health Sciences, University of Oxford. 'The more consistently and correctly you wear a mask, the better protected you are. Respirators, when worn continuously, provide even greater protection than ordinary masks.'
Masks, including cloth face coverings and disposable medical masks, help reduce the spread of respiratory droplets and aerosols. Respirators, such as N95 and FFP2 devices, are designed to filter out smaller airborne particles and fit more tightly to the face, providing a higher level of protection.

RedHelenB · 19/08/2024 08:47

Jjiillkkf · 19/08/2024 08:16

Is there any evidence a mask is of any use?

This. It's hard to communicate fully wearing a mask I feel that you are being overly cautious . Good luck with your pregnancy, babies and embryos are tougher than we imagine.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:46

UtterlyQuackers · 19/08/2024 08:43

Stress? Anxiety? Mental health related issues?

I actually think, with all due respect to OP, that the over anxiety needs to be reflected upon.

godmum56 · 19/08/2024 08:46

From what you have said, you have taken it through the school decision making system and have had it agreed and the children have accepted it. Your health issues are a private matter and the complaining parent has no right to know them BUT are the school supporting you with the complaints? I used to manage in the NHS, not in education but in similar circumstances. I'd have taken HR and Occy health advice but it seems to me that this might come under the heading of "reasonable adjustment" so, if I agreed with your decision, I'd have been telling the person in your position (and the complainant) that complaints should be referred to your manager, and the manager's response would be to say that the situation had been assessed and your behaviour is reasonable. I might spend some time observing so I could say that I had done that and that the children don't appear to be upset by the mask. I get that there might be issues around only seeing a part of your face and that some mitigating measures might be needed. I also think that the effectiveness or not of masks, while an aspect that needs considering is not the only aspect that needs considering.

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:46

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:32

It might have been helpful to add this at the start.
You realise that being pregnant isn't quite the same as having cancer/undergoing cancer treatment in terms of risk, right?

Due to a health condition since my teens I have been considered immuno compromised. My pregnancy is considered high risk. I am due in the coming weeks ro get a number of vaccinations to protect me and my baby but until then I feel a mask will potentially reduce my risk slightly. I have explained to the parent I may be willing to dicuss this in 4 weeks after further treatment but they keep going on and insisting the mask goes. Not comparing myself to those who have cancer ( have had it myself ) but just saying other staff members in school have worn masks

OP posts:
HelloMiss · 19/08/2024 08:45

That's what I thought too

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:45

WonderingWanda · 19/08/2024 08:44

Whilst I don't really think you need a mask I do understand your anxiety after the journey you've been on to get pregnant and support your right to manage your pregnancy how you see fit. Also, your school support you in wearing the mask so the parent can quite frankly fuck off. Don't give it another moments thought. If your school have got any sense they will just ignore the parent too....these are secondary age children, the parent needs to get a grip. If they send you emails personally, forward to your line manager then delete....or just delete. It's harassment and you don't need to explain it any more than if you needed to wear trainers to work for a sore foot.....I've had parents complain about that before. Good luck with your pregnancy.

So pupils right to a decent education isn't relevant?
Masks hinder communication - there are several teachers telling us that, and parents too.

Superstar22 · 19/08/2024 08:45

It’s also “not just another virus”. People need to get off the Daily Mail shit show feeding you absolute bollocks & read about Covid and it’s effects.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:44

Superstar22 · 19/08/2024 08:43

Masks will protect you. It’s an airborne virus. So many people on here need educating.

You appear to be one of them.

WonderingWanda · 19/08/2024 08:44

Whilst I don't really think you need a mask I do understand your anxiety after the journey you've been on to get pregnant and support your right to manage your pregnancy how you see fit. Also, your school support you in wearing the mask so the parent can quite frankly fuck off. Don't give it another moments thought. If your school have got any sense they will just ignore the parent too....these are secondary age children, the parent needs to get a grip. If they send you emails personally, forward to your line manager then delete....or just delete. It's harassment and you don't need to explain it any more than if you needed to wear trainers to work for a sore foot.....I've had parents complain about that before. Good luck with your pregnancy.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:44

Charlieeeeee · 19/08/2024 08:41

I think you're getting the expected anti mask comments here. I think YANBU to wear a mask if that's what you choose to do, and this parent is being a total tit constantly complaining. It's a mask, they need to move on.

'Expected anti mask comments'
Eh?
Are you trying to shut down reasonable discussion by labelling it all something it actually isn't, perchance?

Superstar22 · 19/08/2024 08:43

Masks will protect you. It’s an airborne virus. So many people on here need educating.

UtterlyQuackers · 19/08/2024 08:43

saraclara · 19/08/2024 08:40

Off sick with what? She's pregnant and can't be off just to avoid COVID when she's at no more risk than anyone else.

COVID is just another virus at the moment. If you want teachers to wear masks in order to never be off sick with viruses, you're being entirely unreasonable

Stress? Anxiety? Mental health related issues?

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:42

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:37

Yes, these masks are probably more effective for the wearer. They're also disruptive to the learning experience though.
Someone with a compromised immune system may well benefit from such a mask and justifiably wear one. Pregnancy though?

Due to a health condition since my teens I have been considered immuno compromised. My pregnancy is considered high risk. I am due in the coming weeks ro get a number of vaccinations to protect me and my baby but until then I feel a mask will potentially reduce my risk slightly

OP posts:
UtterlyQuackers · 19/08/2024 08:42

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:40

Do you?
Surely it depends on the teaching experience?
Some supply teachers are actually very good and reliable.

Are they? Teaching from a supply teacher is never as good in my subject.

Charlieeeeee · 19/08/2024 08:41

I think you're getting the expected anti mask comments here. I think YANBU to wear a mask if that's what you choose to do, and this parent is being a total tit constantly complaining. It's a mask, they need to move on.

saraclara · 19/08/2024 08:41

Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid

So you've already caught the current variant, and should be immune.

Moonopoly · 19/08/2024 08:40

@SummerHoHoHoNy you are wrong in saying this. Please don’t share misinformation- see my link to study