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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

487 replies

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:05

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:58

Catza · 19/08/2024 08:57

What’s your point?

Much closer proximity to each other, hence mask use.

Hufflemuff · 19/08/2024 08:58

Sorry but I wouldn't be happy either as my son would really struggle to understand you and I don't think pregnancy is enough of a reason to wear a mask? I don't think any maternity consultants would even recommend one either.

At secondary school you are not in the children's faces like a primary teacher. Open your windows wide, maintain a good distance and clean your hands and surfaces if you are that nervous.

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:58

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:52

This is drip feed info though, many replies were pre-drip.

It is not intentional. I cannot see how to update the OP. The question was also about whether or not to wear a mask but if I should have to disclose to the parent why

OP posts:
Catza · 19/08/2024 08:57

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:57

You are aware how densely populated Japan is?

What’s your point?

WickieRoy · 19/08/2024 08:57

You need to speak to your doctor and get actual medical advice.

It's bad teaching practice to wear a mask as you won't be heard as clearly (regardless of students with hearing impairments). I doubt the ones complaining are the only ones unhappy about it.

Your health anxiety appears to be the main concern so you need to get that under control.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:57

Catza · 19/08/2024 08:56

You absolutely have the right to privacy. The parent is a dick and I hope their child never decides to travel to Japan. They will not be able to cope as wearing a mask is a fairly normal occurrence there and was in place well before covid.

You are aware how densely populated Japan is?

ThisHangryPinkBalonz · 19/08/2024 08:57

Unless the child is deaf and needs to lip read, I really can't understand the agro. They are at high school, so went through covid- were masks were everywhere, it's hardly reception class, were it's new.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:56

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:55

Thank you for the responses. Forgot many people don't always read the updates. Yes it has gone through the whole reasonable adjustments process especially as I was high risk and prior to the summer there was a covid outbreak and whooping cough outbreak. My school is very supportive, as have my pupils it is just think one parent who has been relentless. To those who think I should be off sick or care little for my pupils. The aim of the mask is to keep me in school and teaching. There are no supply teachers for my specialism in my district, so they would just have a general supply teacher. I understand the mask is not ideal but I feel this allows me to keep teaching. The OP was never actually about the mask but whether I should have to divulge to the parent why I am choosing to wear one. This parent is concerned about their child which is fine but I believe after 3 failed rounds of IVf, 2 miscarriages and a baby who died at 20 weeks, I have every right to do what I can to protect my child, especially until I can get my prebirth vaccinations

Updates aka drip feed aka important info which would possibly have influenced responses.

Catza · 19/08/2024 08:56

You absolutely have the right to privacy. The parent is a dick and I hope their child never decides to travel to Japan. They will not be able to cope as wearing a mask is a fairly normal occurrence there and was in place well before covid.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:55

Charlieeeeee · 19/08/2024 08:54

Labelling comments anti mask isn't shutting it down! It's an opinion. Has everyone suddenly stopped commenting and the thread been shut down? It's an opinion ffs, just like yours. It's just as valid.

It's an opinion attempting to belittle or shutdown another view, or to encourage other posters to think a certain way.

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:55

Thank you for the responses. Forgot many people don't always read the updates. Yes it has gone through the whole reasonable adjustments process especially as I was high risk and prior to the summer there was a covid outbreak and whooping cough outbreak. My school is very supportive, as have my pupils it is just think one parent who has been relentless. To those who think I should be off sick or care little for my pupils. The aim of the mask is to keep me in school and teaching. There are no supply teachers for my specialism in my district, so they would just have a general supply teacher. I understand the mask is not ideal but I feel this allows me to keep teaching. The OP was never actually about the mask but whether I should have to divulge to the parent why I am choosing to wear one. This parent is concerned about their child which is fine but I believe after 3 failed rounds of IVf, 2 miscarriages and a baby who died at 20 weeks, I have every right to do what I can to protect my child, especially until I can get my prebirth vaccinations

OP posts:
Adeil · 19/08/2024 08:55

I think if it makes you more comfortable to wear a mask it perfectly reasonable to do so. However, I would be careful not to use it as a substitute for good hand hygiene etc (not trying to sound patronising - I say this as a woman who caught a virus that harmed my then unborn child).

I would also say, though, that if you're teaching 500 kids it's more than likely at least 10+ of those have hearing loss to some degree (diagnosed/undiagnosed/declared/undeclared etc) so I think it would be prudent to use a clear mask to aid lip reading.
You may potentially find that the child is getting anxious at you wearing a mask because they're not fully understanding you but don't realise that just yet. Also, masks with clear panels in are less intimidating in general, so maybe it's a compromise?

StarryDance · 19/08/2024 08:55

Maybe she will drip feed that it's not her first pregnancy.

CosmicDaisyChain · 19/08/2024 08:54

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:46

I actually think, with all due respect to OP, that the over anxiety needs to be reflected upon.

My thoughts exactly. It does seem there's some health anxiety going on here.

EmberAsh · 19/08/2024 08:54

Which country are you in? It's August so there are no lessons in the UK.

Charlieeeeee · 19/08/2024 08:54

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:51

You've labelled people as anti mask when they have made valid points - what's that if not shutting down? 🤔

Labelling comments anti mask isn't shutting it down! It's an opinion. Has everyone suddenly stopped commenting and the thread been shut down? It's an opinion ffs, just like yours. It's just as valid.

saraclara · 19/08/2024 08:54

Did your doctor actively advise you (without you asking) that you should wear a mask?

At the rate you're drip feeding i I'm suspecting that you'll say yes, whether they did or not, as you're determined not to accept any other opinion.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:53

UtterlyQuackers · 19/08/2024 08:52

She has said that she is immune suppressed. I don't think that anxiety over that needs to be reflected on.

For the sake of her metal wellbeing wearing a mask for a few months will not have as much impact on her students learning than her not being there.

Yes teaching in a mask does have an impact on learning, but the teacher being there and feeling safe would have a greater impact.

We are in a recruitment crisis in school. If wearing a mask makes a teacher feel better and to be in school, then let them wear a mask!

Most schools do not have enough staff for September. Mine included. If a member of my staff wanted to wear a mask while pregnant and high risk I would fully support them. I would also support any of my children's teachers in their decision to wear a mask if it keeps them present.

She has drip fed the immunosuppressed part - it came AFTER anxiety related comments.
Masks impact teaching, there's no arguing around that.

maverickfox · 19/08/2024 08:53

Rocknrollstar · 19/08/2024 08:14

Masks help stop you spreading an infection, they don’t stop you catching one.

Yes they do.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:52

Universalsnail · 19/08/2024 08:51

Mask wearing means that the children can't see your mouth when when you speak. It impacts children's learning because it impacts communication. Honestly I think if you are so worried about getting sick for your health you should go to your Dr and get signed off for your pregnancy instead.

This.

UtterlyQuackers · 19/08/2024 08:52

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:46

I actually think, with all due respect to OP, that the over anxiety needs to be reflected upon.

She has said that she is immune suppressed. I don't think that anxiety over that needs to be reflected on.

For the sake of her metal wellbeing wearing a mask for a few months will not have as much impact on her students learning than her not being there.

Yes teaching in a mask does have an impact on learning, but the teacher being there and feeling safe would have a greater impact.

We are in a recruitment crisis in school. If wearing a mask makes a teacher feel better and to be in school, then let them wear a mask!

Most schools do not have enough staff for September. Mine included. If a member of my staff wanted to wear a mask while pregnant and high risk I would fully support them. I would also support any of my children's teachers in their decision to wear a mask if it keeps them present.

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 08:52

NeedSomeAnswersPlease · 19/08/2024 08:50

It's not health anxiety when you're immunocompromised and in the middle of a high risk pregnancy.

This is drip feed info though, many replies were pre-drip.

HamHook · 19/08/2024 08:52

I know how scary it is to be pregnant and fear covid, having been pregnant during the height of the pandemic. The anxiety is real.

But you have immunity now since you caught it so recently. Immunity to covid lasts around a year - enough to see you through the rest of your pregnancy. You've basically had the very best vaccine mother nature can offer. So I hope that offers some comfort.

That said I think the parent is a dickhead. This is what? The first time you've done this since wearing face masks stopped in 2021? Surely they can appreciate whatever is going on is temporary?

The kids are in high school, not infants meaning they aren't developmentally suffering from not seeing your facial expressions and you're the only teacher doing it.

I can't imagine being so overly precious about my teenage child that I would complain to a school about ONE teacher temporarily wearing a mask for medical reasons. I really hope your Head is backing you and the kid gets moved. While the kid may seem OK in class - they're going home every night and saying something, aren't they? Otherwise the parent wouldn't be continually complaining.

When I think of the times I begged my Mum when she wanted to complain about a teacher when I was a teen...... - and I was mortified and would beg her not too. Quickly learnt - don't tell my Mum xyz she'll want to complain.

Keep wearing it, if only to prove - your body - your choice!

piefacedClique · 19/08/2024 08:51

Would an air filter in your classroom help to ease your mind. They had them at IKEA this week and I considered one for my classrooom. You could place it nearest to where you teach from… ie near your desk/board and this might give you some peace of mind?

https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/cat/air-purifiers-49081/

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https://www.ikea.com/gb/en/cat/air-purifiers-49081

Universalsnail · 19/08/2024 08:51

Mask wearing means that the children can't see your mouth when when you speak. It impacts children's learning because it impacts communication. Honestly I think if you are so worried about getting sick for your health you should go to your Dr and get signed off for your pregnancy instead.