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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to want to wear a mask again in my classroom

487 replies

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:05

Would like to know AIBU to not give in to this parent demand.

I am in my second trimester but still quite small so not told many people as we still have some tests etc and i am listed as high risk. It is my first pregnancy after years of infertility, failed IVf and and I am being super cautious. Before the summer when I was in the early weeks of my pregnancy I caught covid and was very ill so since returning to school I have chosen to wear a mask, particularly as I have still to get several of the vaccinations like flu, whooping cough etc.

A parent of a child has put in a complaint and said I should remove the mask because it makes their child anxious but I have said while I am sorry their child does not like the mask, due to current health issues I will not. They have now made accusations that I am a poor teacher and not respectful of their child's issues, however as a high school teacher I have over 500 pupils in and out my classroom every week and want to every precaution I can to protect my baby. The school are aware why I am doing this and said they will explain to the parent but several of my colleagues, friends and family members are still not awaresi am pregnant so I do not particularly feel I should have to divulge this to a parent and that stating my health concerns should be sufficient. I have even sat with the child and explained that I wear the mask to protect myself and that I need to wear it for now but that may change later but I appreciate them being understanding. The pupil seemed to be okay but the parent continues to be adament and I believe it is because I have immediately not given into them and stood my ground.

The stress of this parent sending complaints everytime this child is in my class 4 times a week, is getting me very stressed so I would like to know:

AIBU to not divulge at the moment the reason I need to wear a mask
AINBU the parent needs to realise they cannot get everything they want.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Daisiesanddaffodils24 · 19/08/2024 09:55

Wear the mask. Your HOD or Principal needs to deal with the parent.

Christy135 · 19/08/2024 09:52

Mask does not stop you catching infections.
I’m sorry to hear you are feeling so anxious.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 19/08/2024 09:52

The right mask does prevent you from catching it. Or it helps.

As someone who’s been housebound for a year with Long Covid and was perfectly fine before that, l think you should be able to wear a mask.

I wish everyone wore one. Then l wouldn’t have lost my entire life.

Mostlyoblivious · 19/08/2024 09:48

I feel your management should be better supporting you here: if a parent is emailing 4 times a week then that is harassment which absolutely should not be tolerated. They also should not be divulging your pregnancy in order to satisfy this parent - there’s a good chance that it won’t and let’s be fair, that’s low down on the list of reasons as to why they shouldn’t be telling people of your pregnancy.

Have you spoken with your union?

As for the other discussion which you didn’t ask for as to whether FFP(3 I hope..) masks protect you - they do.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC8635983/

DinnaeFashYersel · 19/08/2024 09:47

@WorriedMama12

Even for health reasons?

The only health reason is to avoid spreading to others.

Masks don't prevent you catching it.

DinnaeFashYersel · 19/08/2024 09:44

Tahlbias · 19/08/2024 09:35

Where are you teaching? Obviously not in the UK, as the schools haven't returned yet from summer holidays. Do you wear your mask everywhere you go or just when you are teaching?

Obviously you don't know what you are talking about.

systemicmotivations · 19/08/2024 09:44

@Genevieva that is a good point about the wording "school district". Still doesn't change the blatant ignorance of some on here who think the whole of the UK all do the same across all 4 nations, but I do agree with your point regarding the wording by OP.

MrsMurphyIWish · 19/08/2024 09:42

Wear the mask! The teacher PTSD thread goes to show how stressful teaching is without the added worry of keeping your pregnancy safe. Sometimes we have to put ourselves first.

Inspireme2 · 19/08/2024 09:41

I have no problem with mask wearers but for how long will ypu contuine to do so?.
We all have rights and the parent needs to get over it.

Iamnotalemming · 19/08/2024 09:41

I don't think YABU.
If you can, tell the parent they can complain to the head if they are unhappy with your response but you won't be engaging with their complaints further at this time. As PP said emphasise that this temp due to health issues, and that the school is fully aware and on board with the situation.
All the best for the rest of your pregnancy Flowers

Genevieva · 19/08/2024 09:39

systemicmotivations · 19/08/2024 09:19

@EmberAsh it's well known that Scotland's school summer holidays are end of June to early/mid August. This has been the case for at least 80 years so it is bizarre that every summer someone comes along showing complete ignorance of this. Just to add to the education differences- Scotland also had their exam results about 2 weeks ago (other than the minority of pupils who took GCSE or A Levels). Sorry to derail your thread for a moment OP.

I assumed from the reference to ‘school district’ that she is in the US, but I might be wrong. Some US schools start in August too.

Witsend101 · 19/08/2024 09:39

This parent doesn't sound like they care about the reasons for the mask wearing as surely they would have thought about possible reasons for the mask wearing in advance of submitting the complaints and have already decided they have a problem with the mask regardless of the reason. I think the school need to nip this in the bud and respond to parent robustly and say they have undertaken the relevant checks and they are supporting the teacher and won't entertain any further correspondence about the mask.

Anyone in the OPs situation would feel anxious about the pregnancy after everything she's been through so if she wants to wear a mask she should. All the best OP

systemicmotivations · 19/08/2024 09:37

Tahlbias · 19/08/2024 09:35

Where are you teaching? Obviously not in the UK, as the schools haven't returned yet from summer holidays. Do you wear your mask everywhere you go or just when you are teaching?

Where are you? Obviously not in the UK or you'd know that's not true. Our schools have been back for a week already in Scotland. Thinking of doing a PSA for all ignorant people in any of the other UK countries who somehow still don't know this despite it being true for at least nearly a century...

Werweisswohin · 19/08/2024 09:37

NeedSomeAnswersPlease · 19/08/2024 09:27

I think @Werweisswohin must be the parent tbh

I'm a parent, definitely not the parent. You know it's possible to see two sides, right?

bridgetreilly · 19/08/2024 09:37

If the school are happy you for you to wear a mask, you can wear a mask. The child’s anxiety does not trump your immune-compromised system or pregnancy. The parent should be referred to SLT every single time.

Tahlbias · 19/08/2024 09:35

Where are you teaching? Obviously not in the UK, as the schools haven't returned yet from summer holidays. Do you wear your mask everywhere you go or just when you are teaching?

DrinkElephants · 19/08/2024 09:35

Rocknrollstar · 19/08/2024 08:14

Masks help stop you spreading an infection, they don’t stop you catching one.

This was my understanding too

Redruby2020 · 19/08/2024 09:32

CosmicDaisyChain · 19/08/2024 08:14

Sorry. I think you may have health anxiety or something because this really isn't going to protect you anyway. We know that masks don't stop us catching anything. You'll still catch things anyway.

Well that's not completely true as otherwise they wouldn't wear them in medical world.
I have worn them myself in such a setting it is a barrier.

LuckySantangelo35 · 19/08/2024 09:32

You need to put yourself first OP

Garlicnaan · 19/08/2024 09:29

Maybe if the parent knew you would only be wearing the mask temporarily due to health reasons eg for next 15 weeks or whatever, they would calm down? So could you share that with them?

Lemia · 19/08/2024 09:28

This is a high school not a primary school. The child should be able to cope with a teacher wearing a mask for a period of time. Presumably they have no SEN that require you not to wear a mask as you haven’t mentioned any. It’s hardly every teacher every lesson and you have your reasons. The parent should absolutely not be emailing in to complain all the time- how ridiculous. They need to teach their child that the world doesn’t revolve around them

TorturedParentsDepartment · 19/08/2024 09:28

I'd be annoyed - my child has a language disorder. While she can hear everything said - she does rely heavily on cues like body language, gesture and facial expression to access the meaning of what's being said... so you're screwing her education over.

There's more to accessing what someone's telling you than just the simple mechanics of hearing loss - so flicking through the class SEN file and assuming it'll be fine is just half arsing the job.

Genevieva · 19/08/2024 09:27

EmsHugs · 19/08/2024 08:55

Thank you for the responses. Forgot many people don't always read the updates. Yes it has gone through the whole reasonable adjustments process especially as I was high risk and prior to the summer there was a covid outbreak and whooping cough outbreak. My school is very supportive, as have my pupils it is just think one parent who has been relentless. To those who think I should be off sick or care little for my pupils. The aim of the mask is to keep me in school and teaching. There are no supply teachers for my specialism in my district, so they would just have a general supply teacher. I understand the mask is not ideal but I feel this allows me to keep teaching. The OP was never actually about the mask but whether I should have to divulge to the parent why I am choosing to wear one. This parent is concerned about their child which is fine but I believe after 3 failed rounds of IVf, 2 miscarriages and a baby who died at 20 weeks, I have every right to do what I can to protect my child, especially until I can get my prebirth vaccinations

While none of this is their business, some understanding of your vulnerability might make people more understanding. However, you now say it is only one parent and you have the school’s full support. If that is the case, it is easily contained. The one family will have to lump it. And, as it also now appears you teach a subject specialism, you are not a form teacher teaching the same children all day every day, the impact is minimal. The child will have other lessons in other subjects with unmasked teachers and see you only a few times a week. It’s really not a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

Citrusandginger · 19/08/2024 09:27

It's your choice and the parent doesn't get to bully you. What I would say is that distance helps reduce the chances of catching a virus spread by droplet infection, such as covid, colds & flu. A reasonable compromise might be not wearing a mask when you are speaking from the front of your class and are able to be more distant. This will help those with hearing difficulties and those who are fearful of masks.

You could then wear an fp3 mask when you are working with pupils close up.

As a pregnant woman you are entitled to a free NHS flu vaccine. You might want to consider getting it as soon as you possibly can and before your class have theirs. They are available privately from some pharmacies from the 16th September if you can't get one early enough on the NHS.

NeedSomeAnswersPlease · 19/08/2024 09:27

I think @Werweisswohin must be the parent tbh