Over sensitive?

But surely you then had the option of going to join other people you’d met the day before too? At what point would it have been ok for her to move on to other people — after you’d finished eating? After a ‘chat’? And could you not have chosen where you sat, if you didn’t like where she chose?

You really don’t like this woman, do you? She accepted your hayfever pills, made you listen to her boring stories, avoided you at the reception, then chose the wrong table at breakfast and didn’t sit with you for long enough.

@spanieleyes22 But it doesn't mean she thought you were horrible at all.

She just spent more time with other people over the few days she was there before you and was frankly a bit rude and thoughtless at breakfast. You were kind to try and have breakfast with her but she didn't really want to be included and you had already seen hints of that at the wedding.

You don’t have to be ‘horrible’ for someone not to like you. People on here get this wrong all the time.

No, just pointing out that the OP appears to be aggrieved that her ‘services’ weren’t reciprocated, that someone else who didn’t know anyone at a wedding had got to know more people than she had, that she felt it was rude that someone she waited for to go down to breakfast with, unasked, only sat with her for five minutes — OP, this woman was a total stranger. For whatever reason, she didn’t choose to spend time with you at the wedding or the breakfast.

She didn’t like you, and you don’t appear to have liked her much either (which is fine) and this was clear at the reception, but somehow you were still waiting for her and expecting to sit with her at breakfast next day.

You keep saying you waited for her to go down to breakfast ‘because it’s what you would have liked someone to do for you’, but surely you would not be thrilled if a total stranger you didn’t like and had avoided the day before insisted on going down to breakfast with you?

It’s ok not to like people. Maybe she felt the five minutes she sat with you was enough?

She was rude. If she wanted to sit with people she befriended at the wedding during breakfast she could easily have suggested you both go and join them together. She didn’t need to become your best friend but she could have shown basic manners.

I wouldn't have waited for her to have breakfast together. You don't really know each other and her going off to speak with other people is 100% in character for the little you do know of each other.

She may have found she gelled with other people better at the reception, just because your rooms were next to each other and you chatted a little bit doesn't create an obligation.

I understand that it upset you but she might look at it as taking time to speak to everyone who was nice to her and might think it would be rude to not speak to the people she'd been hanging out with the night before at breakfast. It's just a different way of looking at things.

I agree the breakfast thing would have upset me. Seems quite unthortful. She could have said to you, "I'm going over there, do you want to join me?"

Ah it sounds tough OP. I've been to a wedding before by myself only knowing the bride and it can be socially quite hard if you're not outgoing.

I'd have distanced myself from the other woman after she ignored me at the wedding though, I wouldn't have waited for her for breakfast. She sounds a bit offish, but you are a stranger to her and she wanted to do her own thing.

Think people are being a little harsh here

Hang on. You said she didn’t know anyone either? So she had to go round and introduce herself and make small talk, and you’re pissed she didn’t take you with her? Cmon op that’s not ok. She helped you out. Introduced you to a few people, after that it was up to you. She wasn’t responsible .

and sitting in your room waiting and listening for her is a little bit much. You and your son should just have went to breakfast.

She offered to introduce you to people, bit crap but she's not responsible for you.

You offered hayfever tablets- that's kind

Waiting for her in the morning is a little weird. You don't know each other and hanging about listening for when she leaves is odd.

She left to chat to others, whilst this is a bit rude she has come to a wedding and presumably knows people, she shouldn't feel obligated to stay with you.

You being kind ie offering tablets does not mean she owes you anything in return. She can accept help but not need to do anything back.

It sounds like she was friendly but had her own friends /family at tge wedding. It would have been nice if she had included you a bit but she wasn't obligated to do so

I think the offer to introduce uou to everyone shouldn’t be taken,literally. She didn’t mean it literally. She introduced you to a few, and moved on. She also didn’t offer to spend the day with you.

I understand you felt uncomfortable, as you didn’t know anyone. But you have a personal responsibility here, it wasn’t this woman’s job to nurse you through this, I’m sorry.

I think you're being incredibly unfair here. She had a chat and did some intros, which was kind, but it's totally fair for her to spend time after that with her own friends. I'm very tolerant to chatting with strangers, but would be shocked to be expected to then mind them all weekend babysitter style. How can one conversation possibly commit her to being responsible for you entirely? The onus was on you to chat to more than one person rather than cling on based solely on room proximity. Your DS really could have had breakfast with you too, he knows you!

I get it, OP. She offered to introduce you etc and then was not particularly friendly. You're on AIBU though, so some posters will twist themselves into knots to find a way to blame and undermine you.

The thing to focus on is this bit:

It was fine I talked to people etc etc.

You felt hurt and a bit abandoned at times, but you did it anyway. It's fine to feel like having a cry (and to have one) but don't focus on one person (who you'd i only just met?) instead of how you managed things so well, despite finding it hard.

One flaky person doesn't matter in the long run. Also, be aware - just because you were kind to her doesn't necessarily mean she will be kind back. There's no point in expecting that from someone you don't know (and even when you do!).

You seem way overinvested in this person just move on

Oversensitive.

Then this morn there was a brunch at 11 and me and my ds were up and awake before her and her dd so we waited for them as we could hear them getting up. So we set off for the brek. It was buffet style so we both got some …

Why didn’t you just go to breakfast with your DS alone? Waiting for other mother was weird. It’s not necessary to go with other people to breakfast. It’s fine to sit and eat alone. Did you follow her around the buffet?

Anyway she probably wanted to catch up with people she actually knew better and before they went home, maybe she doesn’t see the other people often. It wasn’t personal.

Perhaps during your conversations she realised you were finding her boring and didn't want to feel she was imposing herself on you, so she went off to speak with people who's be less bored of her stories about her illness and her daughter.

You and this woman were strangers, and had no obligation to each other at any time. You went to the wedding knowing you only knew the bride and would have to make an effort to speak with strangers. It sounds like you need to just reframe it, and not focus your thinking on what this woman did or not do for you.

Maybe she realised after spending time with you that you had some big differences, political/religious/you're loud/silly laugh etc etc and so she backed away?