Over sensitive?

It's tough. If the lady had finished eating and left then fine.

But she deliberately got her tray and went to sit elsewhere. That's the snub.

. It could have been done better. If it was a man? You would have sat alone with him in first place. Or ensured your kids stayed with you. Or just finished quickly and taken food back to the room. (Different if it's a random male stranger but this is a wedding where everyone knows bride or groom so I'd not want to be deliberately rude to one of their single friends myself.)

I thibk I'd just be saying to myself a Mirada Harte type "Rude" (to myself) and then going on with my day.

But I feel a bit rude if I sit by a stranger on the bus then move later when a seat becomes free.

It wouldn't have hurt her to introduce you to a few people and then do her social butterfly bit. Perhaps there could have been someone you may have gelled with and it's hard to do when you're there purely on the wedding day, and not at the festivities beforehand.

This lady was so rude at breakfast!!! I wouldn’t dream of sitting with someone briefly, then getting up and leaving them on their own mid-meal. I can’t believe people on here are defending this sort of behaviour. It’s bizarre.

OP if she really didn’t like you she could have just gone to sit at a different table after getting her food. Or even on the way. She could have made an excuse. Sitting with you, even briefly, is just plain weird on her part. And that’s aside from the promise of making introductions (= including you) and then not bothering. The lady was being odd.

Try not to take it to heart. A big event where you don’t really know anyone can be ever so tricky. Focus on the nice chats you did have with people, and try to forget about this woman’s flaky/off behaviour. I wouldn’t have been impressed, had I been in your shoes.

It was rude for the op to insert herself into this woman's day without invitation and expecting this woman to stay with her all morning. This woman is not the op's friend and she didn't owe the op her time or company.

If it was a man wanting her time would you say the same? The sitting together was what the op wanted, the woman was not obliged to give the op her time and the op wasn’t entitled to it. Does the woman not count? Do her feelings not matter?

I’m on the fence with this part tbh, if you put yourself in this woman’s shoes, she had someone outside the room waiting to go to breakfast for her, she hadn’t arranged that or necessarily wanted that, but she didn’t want to sit with them for whatever reason.. how do you handle that politely?

if she went to sit with other people op would have followed, if she wanted to move to be with other people op would have followed.. so the only way to do it was either tell op she didn’t want to sit with her (!) or make an excuse and leave as quickly as possible. She chose option B, the non confrontational option.

if OP was a man no one would call this woman rude for making her excuses to leave, no one owes you their time.

you can’t ditch colleagues at a lunch because you have to see them or have people/friends in common.. these two are strangers who will never see each other again, life is too short to do things you don’t want to do out of some weird politeness/obligation for someone you will never see again even if it is the ‘nice’ thing to do.

I’m sorry op, it obviously wasn’t a very nice event for you, and I think you’re initial conversation and her backing out of what she said set you up to be disappointed, which is her fault not yours, but I do think the woman sensed you wanted to hang around with her (i know you didn’t hang around with her) or you weren’t her sort of socialising partner and she made a swift exit as soon as she could once the wedding started to make sure she got away.

It was rude to take her to one seat, briefly sit there and then leave to sit with others

Saying after getting food -oh I am going to sit with x, see you later, not rude. Or suggesting they all move to sit with x, not rude.

But sitting together in one place then immediately ditching her was fairly rude/awkward.

See I don’t think it was rude. For it to be rude, the op needs to be entitled to the woman’s time, and she wasn’t. She wasn’t entitled to the woman sitting with her, taking her with her, and basically baby sitting her.

your response indicates you think the op was entitled to the woman’s company and otherwise she’d not be rude if she didn’t provide it. But the op wasn’t entitled to her company, any more than any one else’s. She chose to go to this wedding stag, it was her job to ensure she integrated, not to grasp someone else and make it their job.

I thibk it was pretty rude of her.

She just needed to say -oh let's sit with these people I chatted to last night (and then ignored you if she wanted once sat down)

But sitting you in one space then going off before finishing your food is rude. Once sat down you are committed for that meal. Or you move both of you if you feel the need to break up the duo.

We've all ended up sat by someone we are not fussed by at say a work lunch. But we don't abandon that person during our starters. Maybe move later at coffee but we are polite during the meal.

I think you assumed a bond that was never there.

Listening out for her and hovering around until you could go down to breakfast together was a bit weird and stalky. Or at least rather needy.

If I’d been partying all night at a wedding do, I think the woman from the room next door pouncing on me as I emerged from the hotel room so we could have breakfast together would be a bit much.

She got you settled somewhere and went off to socialise.

Remember she hadn't actually arranged to meet you for breakfast. You listened outside her door and hung out in the corridor waiting for her. Then you're annoyed she didn't sit with you, but why should she? Taking a hayfever tablet doesn't lock someone into owing them a meal.

If you talk like
you write maybe she just
thought
you were a bit
tricky
to talk to

Is there a chance she wanted to claw her ears off because you kept referring to breakfast as brek?

Or is it just something you type but don't say?

Limpit or not for someone you knew only for a few hours the way you are posting has me assumed this is some 20 plus year marriage break up you are talking about, you seem seriously overinvested in this person

I get it, OP. She offered to introduce you etc and then was not particularly friendly. You're on AIBU though, so some posters will twist themselves into knots to find a way to blame and undermine you.

Nobody is twisting anything - well, until you wrote this.

The OP has asked "Am I being unreasonable?" (to expect more from a stranger who has no obligation to 'mind' her at a friend's wedding) and most people are saying, yes, you are a bit.

No-one is 'blaming' or 'undermining' anyone, posters are answering the question the op has asked.

So rude of her OP.

I really feel for you.

Sometimes I think im too nice to people and they use me and walk all over me. Maybe it's better to be more aloof. Maybe people try harder with you then.

That may be true for you in general, who knows, but it's a massive extrapolation from what you've described. She didn't use you - she chatted to you for a bit and then chatted to other people, circulating in totally normal way for someone at a wedding who was being sociable and getting to know people. The fact you gave her some hayfever pills is nice but really not the grand gesture you're framing it as. If you're this intense IRL then maybe people do back off after initial warmth.

I would be upset by this too. It's awful being left out and if I saw someone on their own I would try to include them. YANBU

Those things you list aren't " very kind", they're normal things to do. Seems like she didn't particularly want to hang round with you, just because you're both single doesn't make it obligatory.

I dont think you was over sensitive i think you was expecting to much.
Your an adult fake a smile and start chatting to others.
What ive learned in life is not every one is gonna warm to you your not gonna be everyones cup of tea.

With kindness, I think you are being a little over sensitive op, she obviously got to know you a little bit in the time she spent with you in the morning, and realised you weren’t that compatible and that given the chance you may have wanted to spend all your time with her if you could. You waiting for her the morning after kind of proves that really.

she probably thought she could introduce you to a few people and you’d go off with different people for a bit, when that didn’t happen she ditched you instead to make sure she wasn’t left looking after you all weekend at the sacrifice of her own enjoyment.

its not ‘nice’ of her, and I think she gave you the wrong idea on that first morning (either inadvertently or on purpose) and then regretted it, sorry op, it wasn’t nice for you, but unless you genuinely get on with someone you can’t really expect them to want to spend all their time with you.

It's not about expecting nothing from anybody. It's about having appropriate expectations of people. You knew what she was like the night before but you decided that you should wait for her for breakfast. She'd been there longer than you and had more time with other people so there was no indication that she thought of you as special friends or would want to have breakfast with you.

It is a bit about self confidence, you thought she wouldn't want to go down for breakfast alone but surely she'd been fine with that before. You said it's what you'd want someone to do for you but it doesn't seem like it's something she wanted.