Holidaying with young kids is a nightmare

We've done lots of things centred around the kids having fun - it's all about the kids having fun.

That's what it's about at this age. The kids. It won't be relaxing. Is it relaxing at home?

Room wise in an AI, we always book one which has 2 sleeping spaces. Often give the kids the bedroom and we sleep in the living area. But also if there is an or two time difference we just stay on English time zone with the kids going to bed later and waking later.

It’s always hard to a degree but go for an all inclusive with a beach. No parking, no cooking, often kids groups for a couple of hours so you can sip a drink or go for a swim without a toddler. They aren’t the kind of holiday I went on pre kids but they are the only genuinely relaxing holiday at this stage of life.

Yep! We have to stay overnight at the airport hotel next week (with a three year old and a baby) and I'm not looking forward to it one bit 😂 Planning on keeping them up til nine until we can all reasonably go to bed together. There's a garden apartment with a pool waiting for us in Austria though! 😬

I think you need to choose very carefully and not expect it to be how you would expect. For kids your age I would have gone with a cottage somewhere which had a garden and a fenced off shared pool ideally. Shopping do e by one of you while the other stays at home with children. Short trips out in the morning to sightsee or to the beach then back to house to chill and play in pool.

Adjust your expectations and do holidays you want to do, we mostly road tripped at that age as we lived in the USA. Drive in the morning, stop somewhere for food, walk about, park then drive some more, chose mostly those motels you can park outside the door or ones with a trolley for luggage (you could use yourself) as loved riding on it, swim in the pool then off for dinner (later due to inevitable napping in the car). Best holiday ever with them was at 2&4 backpacking around Alaska... with a double buggy, really doable but the lunchtime play park was sacrosanct

When mine were little we found self catering much easier. If you're stuck in a hotel with preschoolers you've got to keep them up late = tired tantrums, or sit in the dark quietly after they've gone to bed. In SC you can put them to bed and sit on the patio or sofa with a glass of wine.

Also they won't like any of the hotel food because it's not the same as at home. Go to the supermarket on the first day, buy loads of easier and familiar stuff they can help themselves to in the morning and have a laptop with their favourite shows = you go back to bed.

Otherwise we always chose holidays specifically where there was loads of fun stuff easily accessible for the kids (without driving miles) because if the kids are happy you can relax more. Of course there are always tantrums and faff but just try to let go of some normal rules and just go with the flow.

In some ways that age are easier to please than older kids. Find a playground, keep them busy.

Maybe divide and conquer? I had two kids within 17 months and when they were little we would often split them up for a bit during the day and then they were usually fine in the evening. For example, I would take DS to the market and go out for lunch just the two of us and H would take DD to the pool and have lunch there with her and then they would come together for some downtime in the afternoon and watch a movie together or something. It could just be all too much for them. Too much time together all 4 of you, too many activities, too hot, too many new places, too high expectations re having fun together etc. Just try and live a little bit like you do at home if that works better, but you get to do it in a different place.

I’m sorry you’re not enjoying your holiday. It’s true holidays seem to bring out the worst in toddlers. They’re a bit hot, change of routine, overstimulated, overtired, overexcited and then the tantrums go up a notch. I have a 2yo so only one, but we went last year when she was 1.5 and this year again. After last year I had to accept holidays were for the fun memories, splashing, laughing (in between screaming tantrums). And not for the enjoyment of eating or relaxing anymore 😂😂 we went to a hotel with an apartment style with kids entertainment! It was al a carte & next to the beach. So was still luxury but we had all the benefits (convenience) of a package holiday. I would definitely recommend that whilst they’re little.

There's no point talking about how you should have booked a hotel. I've never stayed in a hotel, all our holidays have been self catering. I have a 17 month age gap.
It does sound like you are sweating the small stuff too much. Just let them do what you want. You are right in the thick of it at the moment. No holiday will ever be this stressful again (probably) and you'll look back and feel nostalgic about the time when they loved the sea, rather than their screens.

I did long-haul flights with a six-year-old and eighteen-month-old at the start of the year. The elder one was fine as he relished unlimited screentime. The younger one was appalling. Too big to put in a sling and sleep, but not old enough to entertain himself with a screen or listen to something on headphones. I just kept telling myself over and over that it will never be this bad again. If we did that same journey even now - despite the horrendous tantrums he can throw over the ‘wrong’ spoon - I’m pretty sure it would be a vast improvement. As others have said, it gets better.

@Tiddlywinkly I hear you !

Too tired, too hot, too much walking
structure around shorter activities with plenty of resting too (sitting with food or a well time car nap or a water colour mat) even digging a huge castle if they’re sitting in shade
drop kids, stuff and one adult while the other finds a parking space. Book a stay with a ground floor or a lift

Also in an all inclusive family type holiday, no one cares if the kids are having a small tantrum. None of the kids are sitting still perfectly.

There were a lot of people with iPads to make sure the younger ones sat fairly still for a little bit at dinner times. Appreciate it's frowned upon, and I've only ever done it a handful of times but needs must at that age

Agree. Can’t bear having to go to bed when an overtired toddler needs to, and having no downtime myself.

Our DDs were 2 and 4 last summer and it was a hard six weeks (I’m a teacher, so off the whole time). This year at 3 and 5 was SO much easier. We did a week at a Eurocamp which was really set up for children; everything on site, air con, decking, garden etc. Made such a massive difference. We’ve decided that we’ll do the same next year and then see if they’re old enough to do an AI the following year, but we want them both to be independently swimming by then to give us a bit of downtime by a pool.

There’s every chance that, for you, next summer will be easier. Fingers crossed!

Holidays are a total nightmare at that age. Give it another year or 2 and it will be a LOT better.

For us, booking an all inclusive holiday was an absolute game changer.

I was borderline dreading our holiday to Portugal last year (kids were 3 & 5. We went all inclusive, and wow. It was THE best time of my life. In and out of the pool, alcohol on tap, amazing food ready for you to eat, cleaners coming in every day and changing the beds flat out. It was one of the best times of my life. On the flight home, I realised how relaxed I'd felt and it dawned on me that I hadn't felt that way since my first was born.

Went home and everyone was saying how you need a second holiday after one with the kids, and for the first time, they were wrong.

Look in to a really good all inclusive with 5 star rating next year!!

I never took mine until they were 4 and 7. Weekend here or there. Sounds awful.

Oh god, I've got more then? 🤣 Just back from holiday with an 8 and 11 year old. The bickering, the back talking, the pestering for stuff. FML

At pre school age, we took advantage of going in term time to ai hotels. Divided the day in half and picked between pool, water park on site or beach for each section. There was also a small soft play and kids entertainment/disco. We went with TUI as their family hotels often have a sliding room divider so the kids can go to bed and you don't have to sit in the dark. Meals were buffet style. Not amazing, but no hanging around and you can just get what they want. Not massively relaxing, but not bad.

I’ve never stayed in a hotel with young children, mainly because I don’t like hotels / lots of other people.

When DDs were similar ages (and now, at 7&4) we stayed in villas with a pool if abroad. Felt relaxed and private. Plenty of bbqs by the pool for dinner, or could head out to the local town if we wanted. After the kids went to bed, we could sit by the pool with drinks and the monitor.

if in the UK, we would always book a cottage or similar. Again so we can come & go as we please. Always somewhere with a secure garden area too so the kids can get outside & run around when they want.

Beach isn’t particularly easy with a 2 year old! So much to sort / manage / keep an eye on. We are away (UK) at the moment, and this year has been a doddle when thinking back to DD 2 years ago! It certainly gets much easier.

Oh God yes I remember those holidays. Although I only had 1 to look after! Same shit, different place.

And DS announced loudly on the plane home that we were never to bring him on holiday again. I'd already pretty much made that decision for him!

No advice really op but it does get easier. We used to cruise as they have amazing kids clubs and they take them from 2 years old. So you can at least have an hour or two actually relaxing yourself!

Holidays are a nightmare! We tried camping once - what a moron!! Never again! The only real holiday we get is staying with the inlaws for about 10 days. The kids gravitate to them and I don't have to cook or clean - bliss!

lol at having one child and being the perfect parent! My older child made me think I was brilliant too and then my second came along to remind me I’m not.

OP, holidays with young children can be hellish. We did one when ours were the same age as yours and honestly if I die and go to hell, it will be that holiday repeating forever and ever 🤣 It was so awful we swore off foreign holidays for a few years and used to do UK cottage breaks with my parents which were fabulous. We did do a couple of lovely hot holidays with one child (first 4 months then 2 years) but it’s incomparable to two because you have more hands and two adults can take turns.

I find holidays start to become more relaxing when they can swim and you don’t worry about them running off. Even now though ours are 11 & 8, one of us always has an eye on them but it isn’t full on anymore. At the age yours are I’d be making things as easy as possible so hopefully you’ll enjoy the hotel 🤞🏻

A long nap in the afternoon and an 8pm bedtime is still a normal day for my 3 year old. I guess he has high sleep needs.

I do think holiday’ threads on MN can be a bit deliberately obtuse. Miserable, tired children just aren’t fun for anyone, including themselves. And of course you can’t sit on a beach until sundown or let them eat nothing but ice cream all day.

My DD used to nap in the pushchair no problem, got to around 10/11 months and forget it.

Suncream, sun hats, drinks, sandy sandwiches, preschoolers trying to drown themselves and babies trying to choke themselves, can you tell I’m living this at the moment? 😅

I am an adult and I don’t like hot beaches where the sand is so hot and you can’t walk with bare feet. So it is also about personal preference. We always went to big campsite with accommodation when the kids were that age. No beach, but a swimmingpool and lots of entertainment and lots of space and a bit of nature around.