Holidaying with young kids is a nightmare

Each to their own, and it’s great that this works for you. But my kids would have died of boredom by day 3, begging not to go in the pool/sea again! At those ages we did steam railways and model villages in Devon. I happily chose the odd rainy museum day over a daily suncream/sand/heat battle!

Absolutely go for all inclusive with a garden room. No car journeys and everything is just a short walk away.

Mine are nearly 2 + nearly 4; we holiday a lot with them and it’s fantastic.

The pool is much better than the beach, ideally a shallow one with beach entry at those ages.

Break the day up into short bursts:
-breakfast 1hr
-relax in room + get ready for the day (swim wear, sun cream, arm bands etc) 1hr30
-pool 1-2hrs
-lunch 1hr
-nap 2-3hrs
-different pool/beach 1-2hrs
-bath/get dressed 1hr
-dinner 1hr
-mini disco 1hr
-bed
Repeat

The hotel should help a lot.

I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday.

we used to do the First Choice all inclusives in Majorca or Greece when ours were small. They’re now called TUI and I think they’re still holiday villages but they were perfect and we never had a poor experience.

All inclusive, kids club (pref run by Brits) and crocs on the beach. I have done SC, villas and All Inc and with littlies the hotel wins every time.

As others have also said, maybe stop trying to be so strict on holidays. Get them off the beach by promising a lolly, get them to eat their dinner by promising an ice cream /toy/a go at the trampoline park. Holidays are for spoiling anyway so indulge them

Well done to you for salvaging the holiday. I hope you have a great time.

Giggling away to myself at posters with one perfect child who think they have parenting sorted.

Your kids sound very relatable to me! They are likely just hot and out of sync. I hope you have a great holiday now.

We found French campsites fabulous at that age and really loved our holidays.
It’s all about finding the right place for your family. We hated hotels as we couldn’t self cater at all. We liked the options of being able to eat in and out at that stage.

Do they actually want to go to the beach all the time OP? My kids only ever wanted 1 or 2 beach days in a holiday. Beaches are pretty stressful all round when you’ve got young kids. I also avoided hot holidays abroad till mine were older, because the heat would have just made them grumpy.

You could've given him an ice lolly instead, I don't blame him for having a tantrum if his big sister got a lolly and he didn't.

Next time pick a better location. Honestly, a package holiday is great with kids this age. No need to fuck about with car hire. Hotel with kids pool and directly on the beach. AI so there's plenty of choice and meal times can be speedy.

If they are struggling with transitions and leaving things they are enjoying firstly, give them a bit more time if they are really loving it. Secondly, bribery and trickery...give them something else to look forward to. Eg. Come on, we need to get back for dinner before they stop serving ice cream or something.

We did a short break to Devon with 2.5yr old. We stayes in a hotel which worked out fine. As once DS is knocked out we can talk and socalise without disturbing him.
Our room was massive so had ample space. We did our homework and didn't want a tiny room. It cost a lot but the convenience and ease outweighed the cost.
Breakfast included, drinks, snacks refilled daily, house keeping daily, indoor and outdoor pool, private entrance and section of the beach. Literally 2mins walk. 2 in hotel food options PLUS w beach side grill next door. We loved our stay and hownit worked out.

We tried this when DS was 10mths and then 1.5yrs old and his sleep was awful at that age so a hotel sucked. An Air B'nB woukd have been much better for smaller babies.

Yes. Just to offer a slightly different perspective on tantrums (fun fair & beach): They are having such great fun and don't want it to stop, leave the fun fair, get out of the sea, so the more fun they are having, the bigger the tantrum! Try seeing it as a compliment? 😉
It will get better.

Yeah holidays aren't fun at that age. And people can suggest letting them nap in the afternoons and then going out in the evenings etc but you can't force a child to nap, mine never did even if they were knackered so it would just result in an overtired grumpy kid by about 5pm. All kids are different but it is always disappointing when you expect to have a lovely time and it just feels more stressful than being at home!

You need all inclusive.
No cooking, kids can try everything and eat what they like
Pools and kids club, other kids to play with.
Baby pool to splash about in.

At that age, definitely go all inclusive. Most family hotels have a seperate living area and bedroom so you have our own space in the evenings. We're away now with 1, 3 and 5 year old and yes we've had the odd overtired tantrum but generally it's been pretty easy. Buffet restaurant means no waiting around for food, can get up and leave whenever we've had enough. Swimming pool with little slides keeping older two amused for hours while youngest paddles about or naps in pushchair with a fan blowing on them. Haven't bothered with the beach as I can't be doing with the faff of sand everywhere and no shade. Kids club with craft activities, mini disco in evening, big shady play area, unlimited ice creams and milkshakes throughout the day. Haven't felt this relaxed in ages!

Oh dear, how sad, never mind
Please don't try to 'rough it' in an apartment again - it must have been so bad for your MH

Lost me at kicking sandals off tbh. They should be barefoot if they want to be. You could be barefoot too! You might enjoy it.

If you don't like mess then a beach seems one of the worst places to go!

I had to relearn everything i thought i know about parenting after me and the kids got diagnosed.

If you suspect you are, it's highly likely the kids are as well. Things that help us all the time but especially on holiday:

The same rules around food apply on holiday as at home - if they're not allowed something like lollipops at home, they're not allowed on holiday either. I'm not sure if your dd ended up with a lollipop or not, but your ds thinks dd got something he didn't - i have to be scrupulously equal with mine so neither would have got a lolli if one couldn't have it. (I hate lollipops too)

Agreeing a rough plan for the day in the morning that we are all aware of - the kids will forget, but then i can remind them "we all agreed we were doing xyz at 11am, didn't we?"

Also because of my ND, I'm not good at being spontaneous- i need to know where the food/toilets/drinks are so if we are all on the same page on the plan for the day then it goes smoother. I research everything in advance.

Countdowns

Clear boundaries on behaviour - i give mine 3 warnings and then they get a natural consequence - for example running off on the beach, they have to sit by me until I'm satisfied that they can listen. Then I'll let them go play and see if they've corrected the behaviour. That really only works with 2 adults as you may need to hold onto the one that's not listening which leaves your other child unsupervised. 2 might be a bit young to understand - we did a lot of running around after them at that age. I would always take buckets and spades so i could occupy them near me if i needed a semi break where i didn't need to worry about them near the water.

Wait the meltdowns out even if people are staring. Fuck them. You're doing your best. And sometimes a meltdown needs a hug, not punishment.

To a certain extent, you might need to give in to your child being a grot while on holiday. If the hotel has a bath try that. Otherwise a strip wash might be the best you can do. Mine struggled with water in their faces for a long time. They hated showers.

We would have done beach first thing in the morning or late in the evening when parking will be easier. Or consider getting a taxi if there is one which is a waste when you have a hire car but if it gets you to the beach with you less stressed and overwhelmed then it's worth it.

It's hard on your own with two, i have twins so i didn't really go anywhere on my own with them and definitely wouldn't have on holiday. I had to change my expectations of what i thought being a good mum was. First priority - keeping them safe. If i couldn't do that on my own, we didn't go or we went somewhere else.

You're my family holiday twin! Definitely need a separate bedroom for dc

This is what all inclusive hotels are for, preferably ones right on the beach. We never ever did AI or even catered hotels before DC , now it's a dream. Food whenever they fancy it, pools, beach, often some kind of entertainment, good air conditioning. We always still get a hire car so we can go off and explore but only if DS is in the right frame of mind no rigid plans. So get up in the morning, there's an old palace we want to go and explore, then on the way back there a really cool beach with pink sand, tell him a bit of history 9/10 he'll be excited and say yes, if he says I just want to go swimming that's what we'll do. Holidays are for relaxing, not self catering with young children!

I think you have to be very, very careful about where you book and stay when you have young children. I’ve personally found an all inclusive family friendly apartment hotel to be the easiest, no cooking, no cleaning, kids entertainment, everything there for you on site.
Being able to walk straight into a buffet restaurant and pick up food for them with no wait is a huge help. If you can get one with a really good shallow kids pools, with all the slides etc most kids love these kind of things. They normally have a mini disco in the evening too.
You can find ones which are apartments so you have two rooms and a bit more space. Kids can go in the main bedroom and you can sleep in the living area and sit out on the balcony if they do need to sleep earlier.
But yes it’s still hard, no this isn’t something I would have chosen before becoming a parent and yes my kids will also be the ones having tantrums, so you’re not alone!

The best type of hotels are all inclusive, family friendly resorts with tons of kids entertainment. It's purely about giving you a rest and not about sightseeing, local food or any of the typical things you associate with holidays. It's absolutely worth paying more for a hotel with direct beach access. We stayed at one where you can walk from your room straight to the beach, then back up to your room to shower, clean off etc. Having to drive and find parking each time sounds like a nightmare.

or the wrong kind of children...
(joking!)

We took our girls at 2 and 4 to an AI resort and had none of this hassle or drama.
The kids happily played in the pool with one or both of us in with them or sitting on the side. We had beach days, chill out time in our room, made sure to eat out of the sun at the hottest time of day.

What are you doing to deal with the tantrums and meltdowns?