It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

Flipping this on its head... did people used to have kids because they thought it was cool? :/

Some people have family around them and are still lonely. Not all families are supportive.

You are correct OP there is a trend but it’s not to be trendy. This is one of the first times it’s acceptable for a woman not to have a husband, to have their own mortgage, bank account, high flying job and a social life.

It wasn’t that long ago women couldn’t have a bank account without a male signature, their own mortgage, marital rape was only brought in in the 90s. Contraception hasn’t been around and accessible for that long either.

I think this is the first generation where all these things are aligning and it’s socially acceptable.

Well it was a genuine choice though. There were many ways they could have made children work had they wanted to but it would have involved a life situation they would not prefer.

So they picked the best of the available options - which in this case was remaining childless. Saying that is not a choice strips them of their agency.

Although to be clear - the numbers of people
having children seems largely unchanged. They are just having smaller families.

I think people living longer results in lots of younger people not experiencing the loneliness of not having a family. My child free friends have childfree siblings and their parents, they don’t realise in 20years their parents will be gone and it’s crap not having family around you.

It's not unfashionable. It's just that more people have choice now.

The largest driver of children today is religion and the expectation to have them.

Also, it's not that long ago that words like barren and spinster were perfectly acceptable. That's not the case now and not having kids by choice was not really a thing, if you could have them you probably would for fear of the above labels! And peer pressure is a terrible reason to have a child.

Totally agree.

Yes sensible but does that mean it's a genuine choice. We are mammals...vast majority of us have a biological urge to procreate. The fact that so many people can't afford housing or childcare and have to make the sensible choice is quite sad in many ways.

2 babies and 2 toddlers just in my cul de sac. Plenty of people having kids round here.

The birth rate is falling and has been falling for decades since the 60s overall, (there have been some peaks during that time but it doesnt affect the overall decline)

Its about women having a choice.

In more recent years I suppose people have become more aware of and outspoken of the effect on the planet of having children, so everytime much is made of a particular car, or someone taking a flight, or someone with a woodburner, the reality is that having a child outweighs those issues.

If thats 'fashion' well I suppose that might be what you're picking up OP

Hmm maybe, maybe not? I mean, if you desperately want a child, and got pregnant, then you'll probably find a way to make it work. For me personally, the other factors only reinforced my decision, rather than making it for me iyswim.

I guess what I'm getting at is, if you're not that fussed about having kids, then your current situation can make you think it wouldn't be fair on a child anyway.

I know women who got pregnant and then partners left them so they are single mums, worse off financially than they envisaged for themselves and their lives. But they always wanted to be mothers so they make it work and do the best they can by their child.

But in answer to the OP, it's a personal choice, based on a variety of factors. But only an idiot would decide whether or not to have a child based on what was en vogue...

Yes it’s a choice. It’s not a choice in the way being childfree is but it’s still a choice rather than selecting a different option.

It's becoming acceptable to not have kids.

That's not the same as unfashionable or 'looked down' on.

I think it's seen less of an automatic given that you should want to have children. And as others have said add economic factors etc then people will have less children. I don't think it has anything to do with 'fashion'.

I know what you mean, OP, in that the handful of friends I have with children seem to try and justify wanting them as though they feel embarrassed about it to our larger friendship group, who are mostly childfree by choice. Which I think is a bit sad, because they're obviously happy and wanted them. But there's certainly a general feeling amongst the people I know (in a broad sense) that not having children is the sensible/default option and those who choose to are interestingly bold or going against the grain!

As well, of the 10 or so 20-30 year olds I work with, only one says they want children. Obviously a lot can change from being 20 and in your first job, but anecdotally I've definitely seen a shift in how 'inevitable' having children seemed when I was in my late teens/early 20s.

True, but this is mainly because more people stick to one, and more than two is an increasing rarity. Although more people do not have children, the bigger impact is those who do, having fewer.

This. I know loads of women without kids, not because it’s “trendy” but because that was the most sensible decision for their life circumstances.

Not sure what you mean by "fashionable"? Far more women have kids than don't, albeit they don't have as many, and not having them at all is more common.
Having more than 2 or 3 is definitely less "fashionable" (or common) than when I grew up in the '80s.

This is just anecdotal. The UK birth rate is falling

As somebody who is childless and receives a level of vitriol for it that would never be aimed at those with children I think this is nonsense.

You literally have a US VP pick who has made incredibly offensive comments about those without children as well as arguing that parents should have more voting rights than non-parents. There would never be a VP that would say similar about parents.

Birth rates are not dropping because “children are unfashionable” but for multiple reasons. Most people who do not have children are not childfree, they are childless by circumstance. This is a load of panic over nothing. Most people have children. They are having fewer children than previously but still having them. Me not having children has nothing to do with “fashion.”

80% of women by age 45 have had a child/children.

Unfortunately, motherhood has long been looked down on by patriarchy, but that is perhaps not what you're getting at?

I haven't noticed this at all op, you must live in a different area to me!

Off the top of my head:

My friend and a lady from toddler group both expecting their 4th.

At my son's school a mum with 4 kids, another with 6 and another with 9 (yes 9).

My SIL has 3

A lady at toddler group who has 4

I always generally see pregnant women out and about.

Babies and children are everywhere op!!

IDK. The child free lobby is more outspoken than ever, but that might be misleading. It's hard to judge numbers because you disproportionately meet people on the same side of the fence as yourself.

Some of the delay in having children is economic factors, which isn't the same as it being unfashionable, but does contribute to the statistical decline.

We have one because we met and started a family later in life (late 30s/early 40s). If we’d met younger, we’d have definitely have had a second, at least (god willing).

I don’t sense that having kids isn’t fashionable. I mean, it’s never been super cool has it?