It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

It's less to do with fashion and more to do with piss poor wages, rocketing cost of living, childcare costs and housing insecurity. Many people stuck in rented accommodation aren't allowed to hang a picture never mind have a child.

How many child free people do you know?

Less than 10?

It's just more acceptable to not have kids if you don't want them. In the past, women were made to feel abnormal if they didn't want kids. Many women don't so they can freely voice this and live their life how they want to.
The majority seem to want kids so they can carry on as want too.

The child free lobby

whar is this 🤣🤣🤣

'As if we have a global child-free culture that’s growing every day and it’s becoming increasingly “unfashionable” to have kids, even looked down upon.'

If you want to talk about being looked down on, try being child free.

@BruFord I don't think it's that the career matters more so much as young people are much more worried about their lifetime finances now as everything is so ludicrously perilous.
And they wouldn't be wrong to be concerned. My income is now less than it was 8 years ago, before I had children. And accounting for inflation I probably have 1/3 less in terms of income. If I hadn't I'd probably be earning at least 1/3 more than back then. It really does hit your financial stability.
I used to be relatively comfortable and now I worry about money daily and in my 40s that's not a place it's nice to be. If I knew what I knew now, I would definitely have spend more time on the decision (I always did want children, but tried to wait til the time was right financially... hollow laugh)

Why is it a “waste” for somebody to live their life on their terms?

(and I genuinely doubt there are any people who chose not to have children because they spend all their time at music concerts. Sounds like a handily invented stereotype.)

Well no, I am talking from experience. Childfree people I know personally.

You must be loving in a different reality than I am 😂

There are also numerous threads by new mums who literally are terrified to pop to the bathroom and pee because they think they cant take their eyes off their baby. Parenthood is definitely harder now.

Who says any adult's life revolves around music concerts?

See that's the dumb mentality of some people with kids who think there's nothing else to do if you don't have one.

Also it's could have not could of.

I know what you mean @OP. In my experience it depends very much on the "circle" you're in - trendy urban hipsters vs suburban mums - but I have noticed an increase in "adult only" holidays and experiences.

Really? 😕

This is so true about numbers. The panic about birth rates constantly focuses on child free and childless people. But we are a distinct minority and our numbers barely changing. In most instances falling birth rates are a result of smaller family sizes.

Grown adults in their 40s and 50s revolving their lives around music concerts it seems a bit grim. I look and wonder if it is really worth dedicating your whole life to? I mean you could go to the odd concert and still of had a child, but to that just be your life. It seems a waste.

I wonder if this is because of the change in parenting styles. I was looking at one of the threads about teachers and how burnt out they are because kids basically rule school and parents can't accept that their kids cause problems.

Childfree people may be a lot more vocal and less prepared to apologise for existing than previously, but we’re still very much in the minority. And we stand up for ourselves because if we didn’t we’d be even more ignored and isolated.

Women used to get married and kids because it was the done thing - not because they necessarily wanted them.

These days women have more freedom to make the choice, and many choose not to. It's not really about fashion, it's about women being more self sufficient and earning their own money. We aren't dependent on marriage and men anymore.

Yes even when I had my first child 20 years ago the UK national average age for first time motherhood was 28.

On a separate note but related to the post quoted dog ownership has exploded in that time. Not instead of having children though as in many demographics there is a conviction that children must have a dog (or several) in the house, and not having one is some kind of deprivation (this kicked off about the same time as the feeling of obligation to be constantly "making memories" ...).

Go for a walk with a puppy and go for a walk with a cute baby in a pram. See which gets the most admiration. The state of the world is really making people lose perspective.

I’ve noticed the opposite with many parents adding a third.

@JHound My feeling is that choosing to have children isn’t considered a positive life choice anymore, many people constantly talk about the negatives as if choosing to be a parent is slightly stupid and holds you back in life. Your career is what really matters.

Oh I get you.

TBH this may seek condescending but I don’t pay attention to the opinions of the under 25s as to whether or not they plan to have children. They are too young to know for sure. My cousin is adamant she does not want children and instead wants to lead a “Rich Auntie” lifestyle. She is 18. I said if she is saying the same in 15 years I will take her seriously.

I think there is a definite fashion towards being child free. Lots of tiktok trends about how having children is horrible, being DINKs forever, 'the list', and a definite attitude by Gen Z that havimg children is unfashionable. But I also think a lot of these people are very young, and aren't at the age where they would actually have children anyway

I do also think there's a trend of quite unpleasant attitude towards children (see above post calling them little brats)

Ultimately I think it's a good thing if people don't have children if they don't want them, and I think if someone is influenced into not have children because it's fashionable then they shouldn't be having them in the first place

It’s not the same as family FOR YOU and that’s fine.

Others are different. I have a friend who is zero contact with her sister but moved in with me when I needed care after an operation. And as you note your childfree friends have siblings so your response doesn’t really apply to them.