It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

. I feel like as a society we are quite obsessed with being parents,/ having children to prive our worth/ provide evidence of our capacity to love or something. Still tied up with religion and societal stability :

• in the workplace constantly sending endless photos of new babies, collections for babies etc. To point where people without can feel excluded
• open a magazine - women with children generally celebrated
• Olympics - how many mums did it - celebrated everywhere
• people regularly saying in public life ‘as a parent I am concerned about crime/ the environment’.- you don’t need children to think about these things
• having children often being considered as most difficult job you will ever do etc. I have a DC and find that ridiculous. Is being a parent harder than being a heart surgeon, no it is isn’t. And tbh I can think of a lot of jobs nothing like a surgeon it’s no not harder that but it is generally assigned this higher level meaning

I think we should be more worried about the FATHERS who think these tasks are beneath them because you know what...............this actually affects the child!!!

I am pro euthanasia, and i would feel the same. I just hope that its easy accessible and affordable should anyone wish to choose that option in future.

It’s not unnatural to not want kids, I’ve never come across anyone having that mindset before? I have children but don’t think it’s the slightest bit odd.

Is this assumption of yours just for women or do you think it’s unnatural for men not to want children as well?

Unnatural in the sense that it goes against nature's endgame of "survival of the species". But it's not unusual for a species that is no longer born to just breed and then die.

Why do you care if other people have kids or not?

Love how it didnt take long for this to turn into an attack on dog owners though

Unnatural to have kids lol really.
I didnt want kids im not awful or nasty to kids i have loads of them in my family.
I dont hate kids i just dont like them.
I wouldent want all that responsibility for a whole person either.
Plus i cant keep a plastic plant alive.

I think the option isn't as stigmatised as it used to be. Many women used to have kids because that was what you done. Now it is more a decision.
Also cost of living and many not being able to afford a house will not help

I love my children very much but if was thinking about whether to have children now I wouldn’t. Everything keeps getting harder so god knows by the time today’s babies have grown up there’ll be no jobs, basic houses will cost a million and a pint of milk will be twenty quid. The world, as they say, is going to hell in a handcart.

People are being a lot more sensible about having kids from an affordability point of view and but then there’s a few that seem to want three or more and I think OMG really, how can you be sure you can give them a decent upbringing.

personally if my DC decided not to have children I won’t be disappointed, I worry about the current young ones I know and wonder what life will be like in 60 plus years, is this a world I would want to be brought into myself, no..

About 50% of my female friends don't want children.

We're early to mid-30s so it's not impossible they might change their minds but none have so far.

The irony in this post is probably lost on you.

I’ve got a child and I love her massively, she’s my everything and wouldn’t ever change having her but I also feel like having kids is the most ridiculous and insane thing to do haha. Like we already have jobs etc making life stressful and then we have tiny humans who take away our sleep, independence, sanity… I really respect the choice to not have kids. For me it’s worth it. But for others it just isn’t.

The irony in this post is probably lost on you.

Only on Mumsnet.

In real life the average age for a first time mum is 30.

I'm early 40s (1 DC) and have 4 best friends, unrelated to each other. None have any children and 2 are single.

It’s the extortionate cost of childcare, cost of living crisis, later marriage etc. some places like spain and Portugal were seeing this trend a few years ahead of us, again due to lack of childcare.

Fashion has nothing to do with it.

Not having children wasn't really a choice in the past. Women were expected to get married and have children. That was just the way it was. These days, it is actually a choice to have them. Many women aren't making that choice now either because they have different plans for their lives, or because their circumstances aren't good enough. But there will always be women who will have children regardless of their circumstances because that biological drive overrides everything else.

I thought it was a rise in older mums.

This. It’s only been a fairly short part of human history that we were able to choose to have kids. Women got married and had kids. The end. Choosing not to have children would have meant remaining single. Not an option for most women back in the past.

@JamSandle Well yes, being a parent is forever and it’s not for everyone.

My DH and I are the only ones in our family who chose to have children, his siblings are childfree by choice. We don’t envy their lifestyles and I doubt they envy ours. Different lifestyles suit different people. 🤷

Ironically, my DH is the adult child who does the most for their parents and I do a lot for my Dad. Not much parental support comes our way!

Seems it's the more thoughtful who are opting for zero children.
A shame, as they would probably make very good parents with one carefully raised child.

Well that's a strange way of looking at it.

It is far more likely that people who would have felt they had no choice but to have children had they been born in previous generations see that they have other choices.

It's not that it's now unfashionable.

It's that there is (slightly) less societal pressure and judgement and people - especially women - feel probably for the first time that they can make a choice other than motherhood.

Which imo is excellent.

Only people who truly want children should have them.