It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

DS and DIL have struggled with loss and infertility. They've just passed the twelve week stage for the first time. Amongst their professional friend group they'll be the last to become parents.
I see no truth in your OP. From my albeit limited experience, I see couples seemingly waiting longer (they've been together 12 years) and having less DC, that parents are thinking more about the impact DC will have on their lives.

Plenty of people are born into situations they wish they hadn't been. Plenty of adults had miserable childhoods because of their parents.

Lucky you to not be one of those children-now-adults. Because if you had been, then you would understand that some people's having children is a very bad decision.

It’s why no government can actually tackle immigration, we need it!

I’m in my late 30s and childless by circumstance more than by choice (long term single) but I certainly don’t feel like I am following a ‘fashionable’ path. Most people I know have or plan to have children and I feel like I am often judged negatively or treated with an air of pity or like I’m inferior because I’m missing something fundamental by others because I don’t.

I think this is so dependent on geography and social mileau. Think it's certainly true for 'high achievers' living in cities...or maybe just London?

I don't think that's what that poster was saying at all. She's saying that some people sleepwalk into having children without realising what a huge, life-changing commitment it is. I know, because I did!

@Comedycook if you’re concerned about overpopulation in the West then that’s the solution.

I wouldn’t say it’s unfashionable but I can see why so many women choose not to have children.

Maternity care can be awful - we’ve all read the stories of woefully understaffed maternity units, with women treated appallingly. Who’d want to risk that?
Women are still expected to be the default parent.
Women would rather have the freedom to walk away from a bad relationship without being tied to their ex forever.
Childcare is fucking expensive. I nearly keeled over when a friend told me they were paying around £1,000 a month. How the fuck does anyone afford that?

On top of all of this, women have choices. I - like many - have the ability to say that it’s not for me because it’s not the life I want. It’s nothing to do with fashion, it’s because I’d be crap mother and I have no interest in it.

Quite, looking down at women because it’s tough has become acceptable too it seems.

We probably don't need to go that far...but the human race is constantly looking for a cure for death.

Here you are, making statements about those that do decide to have children. Easy after being born and becoming adult, isn’t it? Someone had to wipe your bum, teach you to walk, talk, soothe fussy crying. This is beneath you though, a position to scorn at, judge and laugh.

So what, though? The planet’s fucked. We do not need to be over-populating it.

Are you suggesting we kill off people?!

Money

But unfortunately the world's population is still going up

Not because of kids but because people are living longer….

Birth rates have dropped significantly but I don’t think it’s about fashions. It’s rightfully more acceptable to not have dc & life is expensive so some can’t afford them.

There is very much a 'children are a lifestyle choice' and ' you should only have children if you can afford them' vibe these days.

This takes away from the fact children are necessary for society to function in the future. Helping young people with children now helps the whole of society later.

@Scentedjasmin Because far fewer children die before the age of five and adults live far longer. We ain’t dying off quick enough!

Not all of them turn out to be lovely young adults.

But unfortunately the world's population is still going up.

@Charlie2121 Yes, this is fairly common now. My parents were unusual for their era in that they had one child in their late 30’s. Tbh, it has pros and cons from the child’s perspective, although I can totally understand why parents do it!

These babies, toddlers and pre-schoolers turn out to be lovely young adults. You catch your breath when one of them (your own flesh and blood) breezes into the room bringing with them the energy and dreams of youth and promise of the future.

It is not all poop, vomit and lego underfoot. That is only a brief moment in time.

It's a good thing.

Having children shouldn’t be something that people just do because it’s expected. It should be something done only if that’s what two people really want after a lot of thought.

I’m glad I had my DC but there’s absolutely some circumstances where I wouldn’t have had any. Such as if I had to give up my career.

I certainly wouldn’t want to go back to the days where women had very little choice but to bear children and that’s it, that was their life.

Whar indeed is this Nirvana you speak of.

@Housebuyingfamily possibly a city thing, although I do know the 4th feminism or 4 wave (somebody, anybody help me out on this), started as women are fed up of the constant fuckery they were experiencing from our male counterparts, so have opted out too for this reason.

In my circle there is probably a fairly even balance between us with children and without, we are not young, nor are we ancient. The offspring range in age from nursery to university.

I have no children, BUT on an individual country level there IS a need for young people to be paying taxes when we're all retired and to be working in care homes when we're all hanging on. At the moment, this is being partly covered by migration, but migrants to the west also end up having fewer children within a couple of generations.

Just having read the comments about China and Japan, there was once a link on here to a lady from South Korea, who explained why women weren't having children there despite cash incentives.
Basically there was NO consideration given to the fact that pregnancy takes a huge toll on the body and that there needs to be recovery time for that and time spent with the baby, there was no acknowlegement of any pain resulting from pregnancy/birth and it was all about how the woman was expected to get straight back to work, be on top of her game and on a level with men who haven't had to go through any of that and most probably aren't even parents anyway.
I remember thinking it was no wonder the incentive hadn't worked. The lady in question decided not to have any children and went off to be a waitress in New Zealand. Don't blame her either!