It’s becoming unfashionable to have kids

I agree that it is counterproductive in every way to start a family when still a young teenager. However, from health point of view the optimal age to have a child is late teens to early 20s.

Yes it is I agree.

Surely it’s a good thing that teenagers having babies purely in order to get their own home is a thing of the past? Children having children isn’t great for anyone involved.

I think people are realising you don't need to be married with kids to be successful in life anymore. The societal pressure isn't there. I think people are embracing asexuality or being in relationships that don't involve a desire for children. Contraception has also greatly improved.

If you are single and unemployed, having a child will improve your finances.

Have you seen the cost of living??
When it usually takes 2 incomes to run a house, the price of childcare, the pressure to move to an outstanding school district etc etc you can't blame them for giving it a miss.

This as a vile thing to say.
What exactly do you want? An echo chamber? A medal?

Why would you say that to someone who is happy and fulfilled with the choices they have made?

People are allowed to not be a fan of kids and prefer the company of pets without you spewing vitriol at them. Honestly. Get a grip.

I think the housing crisis in the UK plays a huge factor in why the birth rate has dropped in the UK. The younger generation are having to stay living at home with parents much longer due to being unable to afford their own home, plus a severe lack of social housing which means many are delaying starting a family due to having no home to raise kids. Back in the 80s & 90s I actually knew some young teenage friends that actually decided to have a baby because they new it would guarantee them they'd get their own council house and it was a way of leaving their parents home. As we know this doesn't happen these days due to the housing shortage.

I make no apologies for saying I am a woman who absolutely does adore interacting with babies and children of all ages and belonging to anyone.They are undoubtedly hard work although the laughs, love and joy they bring more than makes up for it.

Interestingly something that hasn't been mentioned is for many women the love they share with their DH is another factor in the decision to have a child. It becomes an instinctive desire to 'make a baby' together. I also understand this doesn't always happen.There are are women who are not maternal and they decide along with their partners to take a different path.There is no right or wrong. Its simply a matter of choice.

Yes I agree with all of this. I think a lot of people are desperate to nurture and care for something. There is a huge trend now for treating pets like children. Near me, a local cafe has a meet Santa event for dogs...

The term fur baby is awful!

Actually my parents (who obviously had children, being my parents) have had dogs for fifty years, and always used to have large rescue dogs, which they trained properly and treated as dogs (and loved arguably more than their grandchildren... but still they trained them and mostly expected good, mostly dog appropriate behaviour).

A few years ago, following the death of their elderly, well behaved sheepdog type mixed breed they bought a small purebred dog from a breeder and slipped into the furbaby mentality - calling themselves mummy and daddy and not training the dog at all, and tolerating endless barking, jumping up, chewing furniture and possessions (including those of visitors) and even making excuses for nipping.

I think it is a social phenomenon but I'm not sure it's about childlessness as it seems common in their social circle of elderly people who are parents and grandparents and in some cases great grandparents... Their lives do revolve around the dogs, so they are definitely filling a void although they have adult children and grandchildren popping in every single day...

The current birth rate in England and Wales is 1.49 children per woman.

I think this is why a lot of people are not bothering to have kids.

The pressure for parents, mainly women to constantly interact with their child these days is intense. People used to be more relaxed with their parenting, now anxiety is promoted, people are freaking out if their kid eats a chicken nugget, sits in front of a screen for an hour, isn’t being constantly ‘enriched’, kid can’t just chill, has to be taken to different activities every day.

Lots of youngsters see this and decide it’s not for them.

The whole premise of the thread.

These are probably the same people who think Kanye West is fashionable and sane.

If not for social media- People would do what they want without the pressure of the entire world's opinion screaming at them from whatever piece of technology they use. People need to break away and do what they want.

However, I haven't really noticed this. There have always been people who do not want children.

I also find it bizarre how people always believe they are doing the world a favour by raising upstanding members of society that will contribute to the tax system and wipe my arse when I'm old and unable to.

@BeansOnToast32 You’re not wrong, although the great thing about women having the choice whether or not to have children or not nowadays makes it far more likely that any child born today is wanted, doesn’t it?

My assumption would be that parents of a wanted child are more likely to try and bring them up as well as they can.

i know that if I’d been born in the “Call the Midwife” era and had six or seven children due to lack of contraception, I’d probably be too worn out to put much effort in!

Exacty, they have been falling since women were able to make a choice (in a more reliable way) about whether they want to become parents (ie the 60s)

That is no coincidence.

Not in all of us, I've never felt a biological clock ticking or felt the slightest urge to procreate. It's much more complex than that.

Your thoughts on the subject are not borne out by the facts. The facts are that birth rates have been falling for some time, they are below replacement level and are continuing to fall.
This will result in population collapse.

I'm mid 30's and I've always known I didn't want children, I've never had this "urge" people talk about I don't dislike kids but I don't want to raise one. If I don't feel the urge or like my life would be enriched by one why would I have one? Hardly fair to raise a child if I didn't really want one in the first place and I just did it because it was the "normal" thing to do.

With the world the way it is at the moment I'm bloody glad I've never wanted kids.

I also find it bizarre how people always believe they are doing the world a favour by raising upstanding members of society that will contribute to the tax system and wipe my arse when I'm old and unable to. In the real world somebody will be raising the next generation of criminals, thugs, sex offenders and murderers too, nobody knows what their child will grow into. You had a child because you wanted one, not for the greater good.

This has made me think quite a bit about the move towards people treating pets almost as though they are children. I have pets myself and they are a part of the family but I do not treat them as children. I have however noticed a trend towards this in my local community. I mentioned earlier that I live in a newly affluent part of a city and the number of people with dogs (and those who fawn over dogs) is enormous. I have also seen a fair few friends and family (who are either past or nearly past the age of having biological children - and who I therefore presume are not going to have children) become very pet-centric and it seems they are clearly driven to care deeply for another soul (which was not the case for those people in their younger years). I also hear them refer to themselves as Mummy or Daddy in relation to their pets. I don't think my parent's generation did this (and definitely not my grandparent's generation). I'm not saying there is anything inherently wrong with this but it's an interesting development!

Perhaps, but I think once their 30s hit and the old biological clock starts ticking, most women will start yearning for children, and will have them if circumstances allow, fashion or not. The desire to procreate is to deeply entrenched in our beings to be influenced by fashion.

I think parenting has been made to be harder, by placing more emphasis on creating perfect childhoods.

Motherhood was fetishised by middle class Victorians with all that angel at the hearth bollocks, designed to keep us in our rightful place. Most women had kids because they couldn't really not, then just had to find a way of keeping them alive.

My grandmothers' lives were hard because they were having to work, whilst having children. They didn't have careers, but every penny counted. Neighbours, mil and older children were enlisted to help. I suspect neither of them would have had so many children I'd they could have avoided it.

My mum was able to be more hands on, at the expense of a decent job. I suspect she had children because it was expected, then just had to make the most of it. But it was 80s parenting, so we were still left to our own devices a lot.

Ignoring the financials for a minute, I think a lot of people are put off parenting because they think it has to be very hands on. I want fully sure with dc1, but I very I unexpectedly felt a massive urge to have a dc2. Like, all consuming need to get pregnant which i didn't expect.

I've adopted a more 80s and 90s style with my own, mainly because I've worked ft throughout, so I've been unable to put my life on hold for them.

@Usercyzabc

You would have to be unbelievably intellectually challenged to think having a baby would enhance your finances. I don’t believe anyone does it for this reason alone. To bump up their position in a housing queue maybe but for extra benefits? No. Particularly not nowadays.

I think when women with poor financial circumstances choose to have babies it’s probably more to do with the sorts of career and educational choices which are presented to them (ie none) and the role models in their family.

If you can’t see it you can’t be it etc. if young women don’t see options open to them other than motherhood and no one supports them in doing anything better than having loads of kids young it’s hardly surprising that they can’t imagine much more.