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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you take the first step with this man or leave it be?

35 replies

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 17:38

I have been single for a couple of years now (briefly dated). Anyway, there is someone on my social media that I am hugely attracted to and he reacts/likes my photos (the ones of just me) which has given me the idea that he may be interested too (he has made it obvious that he has gone through my photos and reacted/ liked a handful) and I was slightly expecting him to send me a message - he has not. We have never met before and live around 2hrs away. It is not often that I am this much attracted to someone as I am to him, he is just my type all over.
He is single as I have stalked gone through his social media.
Would you:

Take the step and send him message?
If so, what?

Or

Just leave it, if he was interested he would let you know?

Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
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StMarieforme · 19/08/2024 19:22

Going to go against the grain here and say OP enjoy your crush; nothing wrong with it. I'd send him a DM saying "Hey, wondered if you'd like to meet for a coffee sometime?" But that's me. Impatient lol. But whatever you got to lose? 😊😊

Original poster
Purelybecause · 19/08/2024 17:45

@Oldinjuryhelp111037 I have actually read multiple sm conversation of his stating his singleness. I would never just assume someone is single due to lack of photographic evidence.

OP posts:
Oldinjuryhelp111037 · 19/08/2024 17:33

Social media isn't enough to know if someone's single or not.... dh doesn't post mine or the kids photos at my request. He's still very much married. Just putting that out there!

KreedKafer · 19/08/2024 16:01

Slightly worried your crush on this man you've never met, and to whom you're attracted solely because of some photos you've seen but who you're convinced must be interested because he's liked a few of your stories, might be on the verge of tipping over into Baby Reindeer territory.

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 19/08/2024 15:53

Purelybecause · 19/08/2024 14:14

Yes it is a crush. He hasn't even opened my story so I don't think I will bother 😆

I never look at anyone’s stories. Doesn’t mean anything!

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 19/08/2024 15:51

I had someone like this on my FB. We’d message sporadically and like each others pics but hadn’t met in 5 years - we actually first met on a dating site and then I got back together with my ex and left the site, but this guy tracked me down on FB and friend requested me. He’d occasionally ask if I was single yet, so I knew he was interested which helps!

Anyway, it sounds massively cringe now I say it, but one night I had a really naughty dream so I messaged him and said “hey how’s it going. I had a very interesting dream about you last night 😂”. Then we chatted and I mentioned that I was now single. We met up and had a nice date then a couple more, but he was away travelling a lot, so it didn’t turn into anything more than FWB but it was a nice distraction until I met my current DP!

Just go for it, you’ve got nothing to lose here. Either you meet up and see what’s what, or you don’t and some random acquaintance on FB disappears.

DadJoke · 19/08/2024 15:33

Find something interesting he has posted about.
DM him about it.
See how it goes!

LoathingMyself · 19/08/2024 15:30

It's no different to meeting someone on a dating app in terms of knowing whether someone is your type from photos and whatnot so I'm not sure why you're getting a hard time for that, OP!

But you would know if you matched on a dating app that someone was (theoretically) single and interested, obviously.

In terms of that side of things, taking a risk to initiate something here is really no different to asking a stranger out in real life!

So, basically, go for it. Only you know the best move in terms of the posts he's interacted with but life is too short not to try.

Waterboatlass · 19/08/2024 14:37

2 hrs away? I'd leave it.

Original poster
Purelybecause · 19/08/2024 14:14

Yes it is a crush. He hasn't even opened my story so I don't think I will bother 😆

OP posts:
jannier · 19/08/2024 13:02

Ops on school holiday

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 19/08/2024 12:56

Just respond to one of his stories with a message, like if he's out paddle boarding then message how you'd love to try this, is it really hard? Or etc etc

MeAgainAndAgain · 19/08/2024 12:54

jannier · 19/08/2024 09:24

Isn't this like a crush?

Yes, and it’s all seeming a little silly now. She doesn’t seem to want to answer any reasonable questions, but just wants to talk about it.

OP, crack on with your ‘little plan/test’.

MelodyMalone · 19/08/2024 09:32

Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 23:29

I've come up with a little plan/test. I've put a couple of nice photos on my story. If he is interested then I'm sure he will view/comment/react. I'm going to feel it out that way first.

Good luck.

jannier · 19/08/2024 09:24

Isn't this like a crush?

Original poster
Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 23:29

I've come up with a little plan/test. I've put a couple of nice photos on my story. If he is interested then I'm sure he will view/comment/react. I'm going to feel it out that way first.

OP posts:
MeAgainAndAgain · 18/08/2024 22:03

You haven’t said what your connection is, if any. Is he your window cleaner’s cousin? Is he someone who used to belong in the same chess club? That makes a huge difference to how I would approach it.

Psychoticbreak · 18/08/2024 21:29

Well considering my recent ex pretended to be single the entire years of our relationship on sm i am not the one to ask - i might start with 'have you a big bank account and a weak heart'? but I would be being serious lol I am all out of the romance at this point but sure maybe comment on one of his stories?

Original poster
Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 21:26

I cannot imagine being attracted to someone I have never met

I am surprised by this. I can feel sexual attraction by someone's appearance, albeit not often.
We have been friends on social media for a while but I've just recently really paid attention to him. He doesn't post much but I have started watching his stories and realised how attracted I am to him. He must have noticed that I've been watching his stories.
He has been single for a few years as far as I could see/read.

What would you message him @Psychoticbreak

OP posts:
Psychoticbreak · 18/08/2024 20:35

I cannot imagine being attracted to someone I have never met and I mean that as in I don't even like celebs etc but if you are 100% sure he is single then sure you may as well message him. Nothing to lose if you have never met him before. How long have you been connected on sm though? I mean he may have only just come out of a relationship and is 'liking' loads of womens pics to see if he can find someone to message him. I am sceptical of men who go around liking/loving pics of women they do not know online.

MelodyMalone · 18/08/2024 20:27

You could send a casual "hi, how are you?" type message. I don't see any harm in that. You have already interacted in that he's liked your pics, etc, so it's not entirely out of the blue. Start a conversation and see where it goes. Maybe nowhere, but you never know.

But I don't really use social media so what do I know 😆

Comedycook · 18/08/2024 19:55

Oh I misread...I thought you had met him. If you haven't, then no I wouldn't do anything. I don't think you can tell without meeting someone whether they're your type or not.

Original poster
Purelybecause · 18/08/2024 19:55

@MounjaroUser If you actually take the time to read, I said he is my type looks wise.

OP posts:
MounjaroUser · 18/08/2024 19:50

I understand that I have not met him in person but I am taking looks wise - he is definitely my type. Yes things might change if I got to know him in person but I doubt it.

Honestly, this is just nonsense! You haven't communicated with him in any way - you've no idea whether he's your type or not.

Comedycook · 18/08/2024 19:47

I'd put up a status saying something along the lines that you really want to attend a particular event or see a particular film that's coming out...then see if he takes the hint...

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