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Original poster

Man I’m dating asked for a break/time to think and now is mad I am on dating apps?

64 replies

kuanggg · 18/08/2024 16:22

I was dating him for 3 months and then he said last week that he thinks we’re moving very quickly and he needs time to think things through properly. He didn’t give a timeline or anything and in my mind, that’s a line you use when you really want to break up with someone but don’t have the balls to actually do it. I said okay and I would think about what I wanted too. He’s not contacted me this week at all.

we have some history and dated two years ago for around 6 months and he ended things in the same way then.

Ive redownloaded Hinge and have been speaking to a few people on there. I got a text from guy I was dating today with a screenshot of the profile saying “my brother sent me this, wtf?? Seriously??”

did I do something wrong?

OP posts:
Pottedpalm · 18/08/2024 17:42

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 18/08/2024 16:23

The only unreasonable thing you have done is to get back together with him in the first place.

This.

Thursdaygirl · 18/08/2024 17:40

He is trying to hedge his bets - you have done nothing wrong OP

Whothefuckdoesthat · 18/08/2024 17:36

‘Sorry, perhaps I’ve misunderstood. You told me that you needed some time to yourself as we were moving too fast? I know you didn’t mean that you wanted me to stay single while you made up your mind whether you wanted to be with me or not, because not even the most outrageously entitled arse would be expecting anything so ridiculous, so I’m not really sure what you’re upset about?’

Or, you could just send him a link to that song by the Beautiful South, ‘Need a Little Time’? Tell him to pay particular attention to the bit the woman sings. Then block him.

eotchs · 18/08/2024 17:19

kuanggg · 18/08/2024 16:59

But is there any relationship when you’ve not communicated for a week really? Is it that I should just wait for him to get in touch (whenever that might be!). “Too fast” means I don’t want to be serious right?

Show quote history

Not necessarily – it can just mean more commitment sooner than you’re comfortable with. I had a boyfriend who I was very serious about but who wanted to exchange I love yous within weeks (and tried to badger me into saying it), was ready to move in together immediately, was just – too much too fast.

This is an extreme (true) example, but I expect everyone’s got their own pace they feel comfortable at.

I would try not to assume ‘X means Y’ all the time as your code might be someone else expressing themselves honestly.

Americano75 · 18/08/2024 17:13

Oh yeah, his brother found it. 😆

WallaceinAnderland · 18/08/2024 17:04

.

Season 4 Break GIF by Friends
Errors · 18/08/2024 17:01

Awwww sounds like you’ve bruised his ickle man ego OP!
He either wasn’t interested in you, or he was but he pretended not to be to get you to chase him and his plan backfired.
Either way, fuck him. You’ve done nothing wrong

Original poster
kuanggg · 18/08/2024 16:59

eotchs · 18/08/2024 16:45

I think you should have communicated clearly with him that until further notice that he wants to continue you consider the relationship ‘off’. If he was taking a bit of time to think and you said ok, that sounds like you’ve agreed to spend a bit of time apart for space, not broken up.

That said, if he did this once before, he was messing you about and it‘s probably best to move on. As others have said, he want’s you at his beck and call with the ball always in his court. Other people have lives to get on with as well.

But is there any relationship when you’ve not communicated for a week really? Is it that I should just wait for him to get in touch (whenever that might be!). “Too fast” means I don’t want to be serious right?

OP posts:
PolePrince55 · 18/08/2024 16:59

kuanggg · 18/08/2024 16:22

I was dating him for 3 months and then he said last week that he thinks we’re moving very quickly and he needs time to think things through properly. He didn’t give a timeline or anything and in my mind, that’s a line you use when you really want to break up with someone but don’t have the balls to actually do it. I said okay and I would think about what I wanted too. He’s not contacted me this week at all.

we have some history and dated two years ago for around 6 months and he ended things in the same way then.

Ive redownloaded Hinge and have been speaking to a few people on there. I got a text from guy I was dating today with a screenshot of the profile saying “my brother sent me this, wtf?? Seriously??”

did I do something wrong?

No
He doesn't want you and don't want anyone else to have you.
Tell him you made his mine up for him.

Starseeking · 18/08/2024 16:58

Meadowwild · 18/08/2024 16:26

I'd reply: 'Please tell your brother that you instigated a break from me. I am free to continue to look for someone who really likes me and isn't confused about it.'

This is a good message to send him.

Lmnop22 · 18/08/2024 16:54

Classic I don’t want you but I don’t want anyone else to have you either behaviour. Either that or he’s playing some sort of game hoping you’ll start begging for him back or testing if he’s got you hooked enough to start showing his true colours.

Whichever of these it is, throw the whole man away!

LittlePudding1 · 18/08/2024 16:51

His "brother" saw it 😂

He's obviously set up a new profile himself so he can look at who else is out there and expected you to just sit around waiting for him. What a joker!

Notsuchafattynow · 18/08/2024 16:50

He doesn't want you, but doesn't want you to have anyone else!

And he found you, not the brother. He was wanting to keep you warm, while he looked for something 'better'.

ConsuelaHammock · 18/08/2024 16:48

Send him back a laughing emoji and then block him. If he really liked you, you would be together. Are you sleeping with him? If you are then you’re his back up sex buddy.

eotchs · 18/08/2024 16:45

I think you should have communicated clearly with him that until further notice that he wants to continue you consider the relationship ‘off’. If he was taking a bit of time to think and you said ok, that sounds like you’ve agreed to spend a bit of time apart for space, not broken up.

That said, if he did this once before, he was messing you about and it‘s probably best to move on. As others have said, he want’s you at his beck and call with the ball always in his court. Other people have lives to get on with as well.

StopInhalingRevels · 18/08/2024 16:40

Meadowwild · 18/08/2024 16:26

I'd reply: 'Please tell your brother that you instigated a break from me. I am free to continue to look for someone who really likes me and isn't confused about it.'

This is perfect

LostTheMarble · 18/08/2024 16:38

He’s using you as his backup option and expecting you to hang around until he’s bored/doesn’t have any other option. I’d not reply, or just say ‘consider this our last break up, I obviously wasn’t going to wait around for you’ and block.

AgileGreenSeal · 18/08/2024 16:38

No, you didn’t do anything wrong.

Boidont · 18/08/2024 16:37

Please don’t get back with him!

Viviennemary · 18/08/2024 16:37

Say you were the one who wanted a break not me, Why are you complaining.you got a break.

Crunchymum · 18/08/2024 16:36

did I do something wrong?

Other than giving him a second chance..... no you did nothing wrong.

DadJoke · 18/08/2024 16:34

An absolute waste of space, not worthy of your time or mental capacity. He contacts you when he”s feeling jealous in a dating app he is, in fact, using. Block and move on!

SpringGreensPreens · 18/08/2024 16:34

I think he’s just making a fuss now so he looks like the innocent party. He’s done this twice, stop wasting your time now.

TemuSpecialBuy · 18/08/2024 16:30

mushpush · 18/08/2024 16:23

😂 his brother definitely didn't send him anything - he's 99% seen it himself!

3 months and moving too quick? And he did this 2 years ago too? Throw him in the bin and don't respond.

This

Original poster
kuanggg · 18/08/2024 16:30

ZenNudist · 18/08/2024 16:26

100% it's his own account that picked you up.

Just end it properly.

Definitely don’t believe the cover story with big brother sending him the screenshot! I wonder if he’s used a different phone because I blocked his contact form seeing me but I’ll never know

OP posts:
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