Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Man I’m dating asked for a break/time to think and now is mad I am on dating apps?

64 replies

kuanggg · 18/08/2024 16:22

I was dating him for 3 months and then he said last week that he thinks we’re moving very quickly and he needs time to think things through properly. He didn’t give a timeline or anything and in my mind, that’s a line you use when you really want to break up with someone but don’t have the balls to actually do it. I said okay and I would think about what I wanted too. He’s not contacted me this week at all.

we have some history and dated two years ago for around 6 months and he ended things in the same way then.

Ive redownloaded Hinge and have been speaking to a few people on there. I got a text from guy I was dating today with a screenshot of the profile saying “my brother sent me this, wtf?? Seriously??”

did I do something wrong?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
BCBird · 18/08/2024 19:54

Don't waste your time with him

DreamTheMoors · 18/08/2024 19:52

I’d appreciate it if both you and your “brother” would MYOFB.
Lose my number. Savvy?

Hatty65 · 18/08/2024 19:47

Meadowwild · 18/08/2024 16:26

I'd reply: 'Please tell your brother that you instigated a break from me. I am free to continue to look for someone who really likes me and isn't confused about it.'

This.

The only thing I'd change is that I'd put 'your brother' in inverted commas, because as others have said - we all know it's him that has found it.

Original poster
kuanggg · 18/08/2024 19:32

Bambooshoot · 18/08/2024 18:09

A man says things are moving too fast?! So you have to have a break? Yeah, no. Unless you turned up to dinner in a wedding dress, he’s dumping you but keeping you on the back burner for a shag. If he really cared for you, he would do everything in his power to keep you as his partner. You deserve someone who wants you, wants to be with you, and makes that clear. This guy is a waste of time.

😂😂😂 this me me laugh. Nope, apparently meeting once a week for a date was too fast. Ah well, we live and we learn

OP posts:
Original poster
kuanggg · 18/08/2024 19:31

mathanxiety · 18/08/2024 18:21

What?

You see being played.
He is a player.
He is blowing smoke up your ass.
Just thinking what other ways there may be to express this...

Dump, block, move on. Forget he exists.

Show quote history

I’m answering the person who told me I shouldn’t have assumed that it meant I could date other people.

im saying there’s not a “relationship” as he ended it with both this statement and his lack of contact

OP posts:
Jeschara · 18/08/2024 18:22

Oh what a tedious twat. He was testing you, he wanted you weeping and wailing. Tell him to sod off and mean it.
He sounds a entitled pathetic specimen. He seems also to be punching above his weight.

mathanxiety · 18/08/2024 18:21

kuanggg · 18/08/2024 16:59

But is there any relationship when you’ve not communicated for a week really? Is it that I should just wait for him to get in touch (whenever that might be!). “Too fast” means I don’t want to be serious right?

Show quote history

What?

You see being played.
He is a player.
He is blowing smoke up your ass.
Just thinking what other ways there may be to express this...

Dump, block, move on. Forget he exists.

mathanxiety · 18/08/2024 18:18

kuanggg · 18/08/2024 16:30

Definitely don’t believe the cover story with big brother sending him the screenshot! I wonder if he’s used a different phone because I blocked his contact form seeing me but I’ll never know

Show quote history

You'll never know because you decided to move on with your life and never, ever to communicate with him again, right?

Make a promise to yourself that this person will never again worm his way into your life.

Clementine22 · 18/08/2024 18:15

He ended it and is now telling you off …. Errrr no.

I had a dude I’d been dating finish with me, immediately message an ex to try and hook up (literally the same day) tell me he’d done it and then met up with her …. then got upset when he found out I’d been on a dating app and met up with someone else 4 weeks later.

Men are just gaslighting sometimes.
Bin him off with his fake morals.

3peassuit · 18/08/2024 18:12

He wants everything on his terms. Chuck him back.

AffableApple · 18/08/2024 18:10

mushpush · 18/08/2024 16:23

😂 his brother definitely didn't send him anything - he's 99% seen it himself!

3 months and moving too quick? And he did this 2 years ago too? Throw him in the bin and don't respond.

All of this

Bambooshoot · 18/08/2024 18:09

A man says things are moving too fast?! So you have to have a break? Yeah, no. Unless you turned up to dinner in a wedding dress, he’s dumping you but keeping you on the back burner for a shag. If he really cared for you, he would do everything in his power to keep you as his partner. You deserve someone who wants you, wants to be with you, and makes that clear. This guy is a waste of time.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 18/08/2024 18:09

Nah.

He's just pissed off that he found you on there instead of weeping and wailing and waiting for his return when he was trying to sort out some action for himself this weekend.

SonicTheHodgeheg · 18/08/2024 18:07

I bet money on him looking for dates in Hinge rather than his “brother”

He obviously doesn’t want to commit so you should take control and end things. I can’t believe that you’ve let him do this twice. Fool me once etc

Turophilic · 18/08/2024 18:07

“I’m sorry your ‘brother’ was upset to see me in a dating app. Perhaps you and he could have a think about what ‘time apart’ means. I wish you all the best for the future.”

And block.

Gymnopedie · 18/08/2024 18:06

But is there any relationship when you’ve not communicated for a week really? Is it that I should just wait for him to get in touch (whenever that might be!). “Too fast” means I don’t want to be serious right?

"Too fast" means I want to see who/what else is out there and if there's anything better, but I want to keep you on the back burner in case there isn't. (Or in case they're not interested.)

And then I'll do it again next time I get itchy dick fingers.

Bucketlistbetty67 · 18/08/2024 18:05

Meadowwild · 18/08/2024 16:26

I'd reply: 'Please tell your brother that you instigated a break from me. I am free to continue to look for someone who really likes me and isn't confused about it.'

Fantastic reply!

Backtothedungeon · 18/08/2024 18:05

Of course you did something wrong. You were meant to realise that he is the centre of the universe, and wait patiently for him to decide if there was anyone better out there. How dare you just move on and not collapse into a sobbing heap.

Coconut91 · 18/08/2024 18:03

Absolutely not, he wants his cake and to eat it. To have you on standby just for when or if he decides to try and lure you back in. He's done this on you twice, don't give him the 3rd opportunity to do it.

Menstum · 18/08/2024 18:00

Tell him yes and you've had more luck this time. Then block him.

Beaverbridge · 18/08/2024 18:00

His brother saw it, yeah right. Into the sea with him. He's totally hedging his bets!.

Tagyoureit · 18/08/2024 17:58

Expect better!

Biggaybear · 18/08/2024 17:56

You need to take control of your life & when he said he wanted a break you should have said "no that's fine, we dont need a break we can just finish it now".

Even though you think you're on a break & doing the sensible thing, in his mind (and maybe in yours too) he thinks you 2 will be getting back together.

You can end it yourself so there is no need for him to get pissy with you.

Wouldhavebeenproficient · 18/08/2024 17:55

What a muppet. Was he hoping to reserve you while he pursued other options?

"You said you wanted to go on a break, Gareth. What did you want me to do, sit at home and knit?!"

Andwegoroundagain · 18/08/2024 17:43

Teacherbee85 · 18/08/2024 16:26

Send him a Ross and Rachel gif.

Genius!