To be hating my family holiday

The problem is kids like to play so when they don't have siblings or friends to play with, you become their playmate which leaves very little time for the adults. Although I would be a bit stricter in the evening he would be going to bed so you and your partner can have a few drinks and peace and quiet on the balcony

We are away camping in France for 10 days (Me, DH and 2 kids 8 and 6) I kept expectations low because we haven't ever done camping with them before but it's been a hit. Interestingly last year we stayed on a site but in a static caravan and there were a lot more meltdowns... it was also hotter though so that could have been why! We have told kids they have to go into kids club some of the time (we don't generally get help with childcare at home and never get away without them... plus camping means all going to bed at once so long days!) and that has meant a bit of downtime. We have also befriended some other people with kids about the same age and they are enjoying the relative freedom of the camp.

Can you pin point what the issues are - ie high expectations/cost creating pressure or child struggling with change? Would you consider a different type of holiday insteaf? Ie. Our eldest who normally struggles with change has found camping easier because all of our gear is relatively familiar...

As I said we are having a great time but we had a full day of rain, a tent that leaked and I have a heavy head cold that came on last night... so I do think expectations and reframing play a part - there isn't really any such thing as time off with kids!

I hear you @Gettingbysomehow and @VanillaImpulse
Sadly this is my experience of family holidays too. Lots of pps hammering on how great their kids are at the beach and that it's all the parents' doing on what they like or moan about but.. I know what mine does, he just wants to go home! 😂 And we don't spoil him nor encourage this attitude, but it is how he feels.
And no, I don't think it's fair to compare a child trying to play on their own vs a child with siblings or friends around.

I think it depends on a lot of factors - the temperature, the time difference, how out of routine they are, if they uncomfortable for other reasons (is the bed uncomfortable, do they feel safe in the holiday accommodation, are they being eaten alive by mosquitoes), how different the food is and whether they like it, what they've been doing the week before the holiday (are they exhausted or missing the social interaction after a summer camp?), the personality of the child, how much what they are being expected to do on holiday is a departure from the expectations of them at home - for example, do you go places and do stuff regularly at weekends or does DC hang out at home on screens? If the latter, it's quite a departure to suddenly expect them to do want to do lots of things and be active. Our DNw7 is difficult to get out of the house even at home. Just wants to sit at home on screen. On holiday with him and his parents there were days where we simply gave up trying to do things with him/them as the battle was too great. Once you get him out of the house he generally enjoys it but my god the moaning grates on me. I think it's actually anxiety/low confidence about doing new things, so would rather not go out and do anything at all.

It's nice if an only child can make friends with other children at the hotel, but not all children do this. Or if they do, they only see them for a fraction of the time. But I'm not sure you can really expect a child to have fun hanging out alone - I was always in the pool with mine, or in the sea, playing games etc - never read a book unless it was on the balcony in the evening. Never sat at the side of the pool or on a sunbed. I don't mind that though because I don't like sitting about.

What is he moaning about? Surely he can't be moaning all the time?

Never seen so many unhappy kids as I seen at Disney! Too hot, too tired, interminable queueing - I think the parents enjoy it more than children do.

My DCs had great holidays (yes including Disney!). Hotels, caravans, self catering here and abroad. Ask them what their favourite holiday ever was and they'd tell you it was camping in the Scottish highlands with their GPs.

I think the big issue now is tech and tablets. Many kids would rather be on their own with their phones than make friends with other children or skim stones on a loch with their family.

I think that says an awful lot more about the parents than the children.

Haven't found this, my just turned 8yr absolutely loves her beach/pool holidays and our long road trips with plenty of hiking, last year we did 3 weeks across California and she had an amazing time.
She loved Mexico seeing the Cenote's and Chichen Itza and Tulum.
Maybe we got lucky but she just loves all holidays.
Sorry your having a poor time OP, hope it picks up so you enjoy the last few days. Would they go to kids club for some activities and a break?

This is not my experience. My 2 love a Beach or pool holiday. They also happily potter round on a city break.
there’s often a bit of moaning and bickering But nothing that would make me say I hate the holidays. Obviously when they’re littler they need attention especially around water but that’s just life with young kids.
Having 2 does mean they will entertain each other more as they get older. Having 1 does have plenty of advantages but this probably isn’t one of them.

What are they moaning about?

Another thread with posters spouting nonsense about only children. Yawn 🥱. I was only blessed with one, our holidays centre around things he likes ie. Fairgrounds/ theme parks/ beaches/ general play parks, kids activities which is our choice. Never been to Disney, can't afford it tbh. He doesn't like swimming either 🤣. I guess play with him more or see if parks etc around where he can meet a d play with other kids. I feel you though.

I definitely hear you! My dd refused to join the kids club so it was up to us to entertain her the whole time. She wouldn't go in the pool on her own so we had to take "shifts". At least it meant we each got some downtime and could read a bit of our books!
By day 6 I was so bored of the pool! We had thought about doing 10 days but so glad we didn't!
Ignore all the posters with their perfect children

Tbh at 7 I think I’d be a bit more forceful that they have to stay in their own bed. I mean it’s not a baby or toddler. We used to put ours to bed and sit on the balcony watching dvds (pre internet) and having a glass of wine. You need to carve out some down time for you or else you will return to work without having had a break at all. Holiday clubs are excellent not just for getting a break but also for your child to make friends which is I think key if they are an only one. Is there anyway in future you could take a friend for your child?

I bet when you get back your DC will mention lots of things from the holiday that they absolutely loved - I get this with my son, we can have a day out when I’m thinking “God, why did I bother, he’s moaning about everything, I could have had a lie in, this is pants” and a few days later he’ll be reminiscing about what a great day it was, and do I remember when X or Y happened.

Today I took him swimming at the last minute and he told me it was better than Christmas and Halloween “because the best times are about spending time with family”. Because obviously at Christmas and Halloween we lock him in a cupboard and have no family time. Children are weird (much as we love them!)

It definitely can be different when you have an only, especially one like mine who is on the go for 14 hours a day. DS is 6 and we've been abroad twice - Disney and PortAventura, because I knew we'd be out all day and he'd pass out at night so we could have a glass of wine and read on the balcony! The thought of getting up at his usual 6am and having all that time to fill with just beach/pool and meals makes me want to lie down.

We took him away for a week this summer but it was to see family and friends around the country (who have kids thenselves).

I'm an only too but I was happy to read on a sunbed and go swimming by myself from about age 7.

That's absolute nonsense. Of course kids enjoy holidays that aren't Disney or theme parks. As a % of all holidays taken, these would make up a very small number, and there are kids up and down the country having great holidays.

Not all kids will like all activities/places, of course, but to say a beach holiday 'bores' kids is crackers!

Really haven’t ever had this experience it also never gone in thinking I was going to get downtime. Lucky to have had some great holidays with our kids and they’ve never really complained.

I once gave mine the choice between Disneyland Paris or a holiday by a beach and they chose the beach. We never visited Disneyland at all. 🤷‍♀️

I've not enjoyed our holiday. Just heading back from northern Spain now. Its been hard work. DC have enjoyed the holiday but DH not due to the kids. They only want to be on phones.

Still we had some lovely days but should have gone home sooner!

I usually book the holidays with DC (8 & 5) around things they will like so family friendly, nice pool/s, kids area and spacious comfy room.
They have each other to play with which may be the difference. They will make holiday friends as well hence why the child amenities help.
To get them excited before hand I give them a choice of hotel to pick from and look at pros and cons of each.
We pack toys as well in case or boredom. They've loved all the trips we've taken, some more than others. It doesn't mean they dint occasional have a moan that such and such isn't as good as where we went before!

Go with the flow for the last few days and hope you can enjoy the break.

I think the change of routine and expectations that it should be wonderful can sometimes make holidays a flop.

Can you and your partner (assuming they are your ds' dad) divide and conquer? So one of you takes ds somewhere and engaged with him (behaviour will probably be better with an adult's focus being on him) while the other has some downtime, and then swap over?

I have one DC now, who is 8. He is absolutely brilliant when with other kids,and will easily make friends with other children when out and about but we both really struggle when it is just him. He just switches into 'bored' mode, and while I can snap him out of it, it takes energy that I don't always have. I think it (sometimes) can be, unfortunately, an only child thing. It is at least in my case, DC used to have a sibling, and does at their dad's house, so they really notice the difference when just with me and other family.

Why?

I think OP meant her child is 7, not that she has 7 children.