To be hating my family holiday

Don't remember any of our children whinging on holiday (usually beach holidays). Mind you, we always said that they could whinge as much as they liked as long as they did it out of earshot. Some kids like whinging just to get a rise out of their parents 🙄

I wouldn't be letting a 7 year old ruin my holiday or demand to sleep with me tbh. Maybe toughen up. Ignore the moaning and don't let them in the bed be a parent.

Why does this get asked on every thread, such a silly question

OP, your choice of resort would bore my 2 DC aswell, you need a kid focused hotel to keep them busy and give you a rest. The best holiday was when our oldest was 3 and could go to kids club 🤣 we only had him then, and it gave us 2 hours of bliss in the sunshine.

This is why we've never taken ours abroad.

10 days on the coast is hard enough work.

They moan about the sand, the heat (or the rain!), being bored. They can't agree on activities, at least one of them won't want to do coastal walks or go to the local attractions etc. They squabble and wind each other up and constantly nag at me for something.

I'd want to fucking murder them if they behaved like this on a £££ trip (and abroad is £££ for us)

On the whole we always have a nice enough time but it's never a break for me. I'd be really disappointed and resentful to spend thousands going abroad when I know the kids are too young to appreciate it and its going to be harder work for me.

We went to Disney earlier this year and currently on a beach holiday. I’d say DC have enjoyed and moaned about both in equal measure. They are 8 & 11 and happy to play together in the pool and on the beach for most of the day. There is a fair amount of bickering but for the most part I’m glad they can entertain each other and give us a bit of respite. Most of my closest friends have one DC and I can see how it’s easier in some respects but challenging in others
particularly when it comes to going on holiday with them and needing to find ways to keep them engaged and entertained.

Holidays with young kids can be exhausting and dispiriting. I’m not one of those parents who looks back on them all with rose tinted, ‘they were amazing times’ glasses. But it does get easier as they get older (although I’m told teenagers on holiday can be a nightmare…)

No it’s not our experience with our only child. We do a mix of things for him and for us and things we all like. We let him bring his switch and have downtime when we read and drink wine and he plays on his switch but we also play cards and boules together and do trips / pool / beach / hikes and bikes. We don’t go anywhere too hot and we always make sure restaurants have stuff he will like. Food is probably where we’re most child-led as without ds we would be much more adventurous with food.

OP - it sounds like your child does not like being away at all. Do they avoid all new experiences? Are they anxious or routine driven at home? You need to talk to him/her and find out what they are thinking. Maybe get them to help with planning or researching the destination more if it’s the unknown that’s bothering them?

Unless there are underlying reasons, you need to have a firm talk with your child.
Why are you letting them in your bed? They are 7 years of age and not a toddler.
Do they have books, puzzle books , colouring or anything similar that they would normally entertain themselves with? Suggest a 'quiet time' each day when you can all relax and chill, and your child entertains themselves with these.

I think different children present different challenges to the adults looking after them. I could count on one hand the times my older child, also 7, has complained about being bored in his life. That child could have a whale of a time in the Post Office queue.

But MY GOD IS HE NAUGHTY!!! Just doesn't listen and finds 101 different ways to get into trouble. I am THAT PARENT. I hear parents around me sighing audibly at the behaviour of my two. The older one leads the toddler astray. Their father (lazy useless arse) pretends he's not with us and they're nothing to do with us. We were at a water park a few days ago and DS1 decides (about 40 feet in the air) that he's going to see if he can scale the sides of the open flume that we're on just to see if it's possible to fall out. I marched him straight out of the park afterwards.

DS is a little younger, but loves all types of holidays. The main trick I've found is to mix up activities to include rest time and exciting activities. So an activity park day will be followed by a day at the beach, then a day at mueums that have stuff he's into (and we accept we won't get to look at everything as he goes round faster), then a woodland day with a castle and tons of walking, then a pyjama day where he plays with toys we brought or we might potter about near the rental... etc. Basic switching because he'd get knackered on too many big days out or bored with multiple quiet days. We do find hotels don't work well for us, a little house is much nicer where we all spread out and relax. Similar at home we mix it up; a camp day, a quiet day, a family activity day then a play date. He'll still have odd grumpy moments when he can't have 10 new toys / another boat trip or whatever, but generally chats through them quite quickly.

How are they in general because it sounds as if they are struggling with being out of routine and in a strange and unfamiliar space

hilidays are always seen as amazing and they are and can be but they do come with downfalls in that they are new scary and unfamiliar
One of mine struggles with the not being in their comfortable home space with activities they are unsure of and it makes them anxious

Way to announce that you can’t keep your kids amused without gimmicks.

My dd9 is the same, but she’s nd and probably pda so I can at least explain the reason behind it. Doesn’t make it less frustrating though. We are on the second week of our Caribbean holiday and there’s been moans, cries, strops. Although it has got easier a bit on the second week as the adjustment to the heat/sand/change in routine has settled a bit. We have to leave in five days and have to adjust to our home routine again though. Oh fun..

Sounds like they’re finding it tough. Are they usually routine based or finds new situations overwhelming? My DD loves trips but we keep them short and sweet nowadays, we’ve learnt from experience that anything longer than 6 days she starts to really struggle and holidays become less fun. We’ve done a couple of long weekends which are perfect for us and take each day as it comes rather than a fixed structure

Are they like this usually when you're at home?

Hate to tell you this OP but 7yo is meant to be the start of the dreamy stage when your child is less needy and still relatively sweet / endearing before they turn into an arsehole teen/tween. And only one child means you don’t have to manage the tedious sibling bickering. So enjoy it!

Disclaimer: my kids are frequently annoying arseholes despite being in this dream age 🙄

Language not necessarily a barrier at that age - play doesn't require detailed conversations or heartfelt chats. I remember an entire camping trip where I made friends with a dutch girl when I was around 7. Neither of us spoke a word of the other's language, but we developed a very detailed set of miming actions to communicate all the important factors needed for playing as a 7yo - swimming, roundabout, swings, slide, colouring in, food, thumbs up/down etc. Her family also taught me about the joys of buttered bread with chocolate sprinkles on. I still remember playing with her in the playground at the campsite for hours!

Taking an only child on holiday of that age is always going to be really really difficult OP. I would try and go with friends/family next time or somewhere with kids clubs

Agree with this. Not my experience at all either re kids only wanting Disney.

Not normal for a child to behave like that on a holiday - check if there is an underlying problems with attention deficit or suchlike.

DD found taking lone child on holiday was hard work, they seemed to need constant entertainment. They used to invite a friend along and it got much easier.

Depends on the child. My kids don’t give a monkeys about any Disney characters, don’t like theme park rides, hate crowds or queues and do not cope with heat or relentless sun. Disney is probably their worst nightmare - it’s massively overhyped and overpriced and I know people who spent a lot of money on “once in a lifetime” trips there who had a miserable time.

This makes no sense!

1. Why did you test?
2. Why couldn't you stay on holiday? If you feel a bit below par, it's the perfect place to relax.

Really - my kids would hate Disneyland and loves a beach/pool/ exploring city break.

OP is this normal? Do you recognise any signs of separation anxiety or anxiety when you're at home?

I think also when you're 9n holiday it's easy to fall into the trap of not having firm boundaries because you want it to be special etc. But if you have a child who wants a mile when given an inch (👀 at my ds!) it often backfires.