If you're single and childless what do you do at the weekend?

@Bellyblueboy you’re spot on with your posts!

I’ve been in a bit of a (social ) slump for a while so I mainly just stay in at weekends - baking, cleaning, reading and creative writing (I do that as a side career).

however from next month I want to start going to a weekly writing group in my nearest city which meets on a Saturday AND going to church on Sundays . I think that might lead to finding friends /people to socialise with but if not I’ll still be glad to go!

For context, I moved to a town where I don’t know anyone, but even when I lived in London where most of my friends are tbh my weekends were beginning to look the same as they do now.

But pre-pandemic I did more brunch and dinner meet ups, visiting art galleries, theatres, and bars with my friends and sometimes going to friends kids birthday parties or having people over occasionally for dinner. I’d usually socialise with others at least one day of the weekend.

Hopefully I’ll make more friends to do that kind of stuff with up here.

The other thing I do a lot is travel, I’ve been away twice this year. Once solo and once with a friend. I’m going away again later this
year, and will be going solo but visiting a lot of my friends who live in the country I’m visiting.

Anything I want 😎

I’m not childless, but my adult child is an international student and I only see them twice a year. I work full time, 40-50 hours a week.

I read a lot and watch a lot of different types of films. I’m part of a book club (but that’s midweek). I go to the theatre, comedy clubs and gigs, usually by myself, or out to lunch/dinner with friends. I go wild swimming and am part of a Wim Hof group. I do pilates classes twice a week, one of which is on a Saturday.

I do a lot of my cooking, food planning and grocery shopping on the weekend, as well as my housework and things like hairdresser and other self care appointments.

It does depend if you’re in a city or in the suburbs or country though, in terms of what’s going on. I live in a very big city so there’s never nothing to do!

😂 I remember a thread on here a few years ago by a woman who was really upset and worried about spending Christmas alone.

the amount of people who smuggly told her how lucky she was not having to entertain a house full of people, the discarded wrapping paper and the noise and the dishes. How they envied her her quiet solitude - they would drop their husbands, children and Labradoodle in a heartbeat to spend Christmas Day alone in quiet reflection. The joyful laughter of small children on Christmas morning has an irritating pitch to it that this lucky, lucky woman would never have to experience🫣.

Completely agree. So smug and unhelpful if someone really is feeling lonely. But please do enjoy your cosplay at crushing loneliness.

I am not single and have small children. So my weekends are very busy with lots of things, most of which I wouldn't choose to do! I sometimes envy my best friend, as she has a very different experience.

She plays netball one day and coaches her nieces football team the other, so her mornings are busy from early (though not as early as my baby believes is morning). She goes to the gym, has brunches, walks lovely places, does galleries and museums, meets with friends, comes to my house for a Sunday dinner, and good chat.

She is able to clean her whole home in a couple of hours (if it is not already it's usual level of pristine). She has a white kind of velvety recliner thing. This would be insanity in my house. She has a white sheepskin type rug and lots of cream/white cushions. Yet she spends only a small amount of time cleaning 🤯

She does have no children and her partner works on the rigs, so she has lots of time, and grows stuff, has massages, goes to the cinema.

He is just lovely!

I think you are expressing yourself very well. And expressing the loneliness of being single and childless in your 40s/50s very well too. Yes, occasionally you can meet your friends (and look forward to and appreciate that very much), but at this age most of your friends have their own partners and family, so seeing them takes arrangements and for them to be able to be free. So whilst that is something to look forward to, it does not cover the every day weekend, when your friends are busy with their own families and you wonder how to fill 2 whole days by yourself, weekend loneliness just somehow makes you feel very alone. Personally I try the gym and a walk, but there are still times on a Saturday afternoon when I look ahead and wonder how I am going to fill all those unforgiving minutes with no one to share it with and just myself to talk to. Of course we all survive but “get drunk with friends” “go for lunch with friends” “I have a husband dog and 5 kids, I’d love 5 minutes to myself” just doesn’t really get it.

All the "Ooh you don't know how lucky you are, I wish I were single!" surely realise that they could...be single. Any takers?

I do most of those things single. I don't surf or learn an instrument (i do language classes i stead,) and I'm not currently doing European minibreaks after being out if work for over a year. But I do lots of galleries and museums, yoga, swimming, the odd bit of writing, gardening. It's not hypothetical at all, if you don't want it to be.

Oh ok, sarcasm? I did wonder.

I get it. I have friends but nobody wants to spend the weekends together: that’s family time. So I keep busy in the week and try to model weekends as rest and relaxation time.

I do a gym class, get out in my bike, DIY and gardening, batch cook and prep salads for the week ahead, visit galleries and go to the cinema.

Hi, I totally agree. I've been there! My response was in a jovial manner. Best wishes

I do feel extremely alone and pointless @VestaTilley .
Hasn't helped my mood looking on twitter and seeing a 42 year old lady talking about her single and childless life and everyone judging her in the comments. 😔

Threetrees745 you explained it far better than I could. It is soul crushing. I am 41, been on my own for a long time. I've always wanted a partner and children but it never happened but has happened for all of my friends and family. Unless you have experienced it it's hard to explain how lonely and just sad it is to not be special to anyone, to not have anyone to ask about your day or even notice if you get home or not and when it comes to the weekend, to hear all about your colleagues plans with their partner and children knowing you will spend another weekend alone.

@CobaltQueen 💐 for you. I hope you don’t feel alone.

I used to pack my weekends seeing family, booking tickets for a show or exhibition at a museum or gallery, or going on guided tours and walks, and good restaurants. Arrange to see friends but don’t be afraid of doing things alone. Potter about visiting places you’ve not been to, poking around bookshops and antique shops. Try a church if that’s your thing. Concerts, country walks. Swimming. All things I did at the weekends when single.

The world is your oyster.

No, it's totally hypothetical. It's not necessarily like that when you're actually single.

Wonderful post

@Britishsummertime22 its tough isn’t it?

you have got some great advice here - plus me taking this all way to personally and taking over the thread! Sorry - it just all cut very close this weekend. 🥲.

i am a real people person, and I have had to teach myself to be comfortable being alone. And that being alone doesn’t have to mean you are lonely.

it’s easy to get into bad habits. This weekend I took myself out for a cycle and then took my parents to a nice restaurant. Today has been a bit slower - hence the obsession on mumsnet😂. I habit I will have to kick.

I hope you are okay😊

nobody to chat to

I've never been the type to sit and cry at home because I'm not in a relationship. I cry because I literally have nobody I can truly rely on, chat chat about how I feel or who will go for a coffee with me. That's what tears me apart.

How many are 'lots' really though? You have to live your life!

But, to be honest a lot of the time I would cry on my sofa and drink wine and eat pringles until I passed put in front of the telly. It wasn't a great time for me. I understand and I totally sympathise ❤️

Are you me? Ive done this twice this week. I totally understand OP i am long term single and childless. My friends have semi cut me off. Have a dog who i love very much but is hard work and he makes me feel lonelier because i have to deal with him alone... even walking him is lonely. Im on the brink of falling back intodepression due to loneliness so i am taking this thread as a push to motivate me to add to my life and it enrich it.

Okay - my bad! Happy to concede that some people get drunk every Friday and Saturday night and spend all day nursing hangovers! I was projecting my personal experience - I went out Thursday, Friday and Saturday night in my teens but don’t do that more I am much older and I sometimes find weekend days lonely and empty. I am lucky if I get a wild drunk night out every other month! But nothing wrong with getting pissed every Friday and Saturday night at any age.

sorry to have offended. I just thought OP was feeling lonely and wanted more day time stuff.