If you're single and childless what do you do at the weekend?

My trick for planning good weekends is to know about lots of things I could do and only a few that I'm actually committed to do.

Thats a good idea. When I was between marriages, I had a part time job in retail at weekends, working 12 noon til 4pm Saturday and Sunday. It was a godsend in keeping me sane and feeling purposeful as I dreaded weekends, but there were occasions when I got the opportunity to do something socially , and then the job got in the way

My trick for planning good weekends is to know about lots of things I could do and only a few that I'm actually committed to do.

First of all, I look out a group walk on the ramblers website, though I do use the app so can't easily link here. They are always very friendly, happy to chat while walking if you prefer and equally to leave you alone to just walk with the group. There is often (it will be mentioned in the description) either a break for a quick picnic type snack together or for longer morning walks an option to lunch together at a pub afterwards.

This is something that I can usually decide only last minute whether to join.

I usually leave dome washing running, ready to be hung out on my return, so that's another chore out of the way.

Yesterday I had lunch with school friends (yes, in touch with classmates from 1978), did some 'fun' food shopping on the way home and relaxed the rest of the day

Today woke up too late to join the walk but plan to go out this afternoon instead.

I've taken up a new hobby for 'later life' and make good efforts to spend at least an hour on some practise.

Also fit in yoga #yogaeverydammday and have a once a month membership at a spa with lovely facilities for a Saturday evening once a month.

Monthly Bookgroup meetings have helped me meet other women locally so I have company for the events which are held in the local village hall, usually live music (a cover of popular bands, ABBA-lite was a sell out which involves hopping the night away.

Usually skip any walk the next morning after those unless there is something really special I want to do.

All very enjoyable. I don't hate Monday mornings but not do I long to get back to work. Hope you find what works for you.

Generally, doing things in groups works well

@Britishsummertime22 I hope some of the suggestions on this thread have been helpful? And in particular, knowing that lots of posters understand how you feel?

In fairness I didn’t say you weren’t a proper adult now - I said the weekends you described were for much younger people at a very different stage in their lives. I said OP was probably now a proper adult. I do think she will be in her thirties at least.

I do think I’m right though - the getting drunk every Friday and Saturday night with a big group of friends was something you did when you were no older than 22 or 23?

I didn’t say drinking was the problem at all - I absolutely drink. I said OP might not have a big group of friends to get pissed with two nights every weekend ( whethe run her home town, at the beach or in a cottage) I have also said she may want more out of her weekends. Just like your friend.

I didn’t mean to discuss it to such an extent - you responded then others responded and I explained myself over and over and over and over and over again😂.

*After being called a not proper adult and being quoted several times by a certain someone on this thread I left it alone. But have spoken to my friend who is single and does not have children she has said my ideas of renting a cabin/house somewhere sounds amazing and she is doing exactly that now for the bank holiday and she’s going to do it with wine and cheese and have a bloody wonderful time.

Other suggestions/ things she does were …..

• Decorating the house and moving all furniture around

• upcycling items she already has and going to charity shops to find other items to upcycle

• stained glass window painting, candle making, pottery making and jewellery making and selling it on Etsy

• walking group which she has made friends at and low and behold they do events outside of walking with alcohol and have a great time

• geocaching (google it if you don’t know) she said it’s like Pokémon go for ‘proper adults’

• pamper nights - she said she does a foot spa, facial, nails, long bath WITH WINE and has a night of relaxation every weekend or so

• yesterday she said she went to the park with a picnic, sat down and drew the trees and flowers and other things around and she is so crap at drawing but it was a fun challenge. She’s also trying to write a book

• home workouts off YouTube aswel as she is in an aerobics group and a Zumba group and she has made some friends there and to be honest they all just go so they can have a drink/coffee afterwards and a chat

• reads most days a chapter at a minimum

• she said she tried new skills. Bought an electric scooter and rides it on her land (granted she has a big patch of land) she also bought roller skates and gave them a go

• she goes to the theatre, ice hockey games and she joined the golf club. She is rubbish at golf too but says it’s fun and relaxing

• crochet and learning to sew clothes, curtains, pillows etc

• she has an indoor cat that has no back legs and was going to be put down but she has him for company and he’s adorable and just wants cuddles all the time

• she used to volunteer for a mtnal health charity and made lots of friends there she quit to take up horse riding which she does every weekend and helps muck the stables out and loves it

Hope you can find something on this list that will interest you op

I've always lived alone

My bank holiday plans are probably boring to some but my health conditions mean I need rest!

One day will be cleaning, some DIY I've been putting off, general house stuff so the place is clean and tidy which always makes me feel better that it's done
Second day I'm meeting some of my netball team to do a bit of practice and then going for an outdoor swim
Third day is my "rest" day so long bath, sort my nails out, box set, got a new book to start

I'll also do some spin and weights at home and probably some cooking ready for the week ahead
Just enjoy sitting down on a Sunday knowing the place is clean, tidy, work lunches are prepped, freezer is full of batch cooking and I'm organised

No, I mean a local place where people are all friendly and would chat with you, you could join them. I appreciate a lot of people wouldn’t have that sort of place, but some do. A place I go some women turn up on there own, and have a great night with the other regulars.

You can't really change the areas you have to go if you're on a budget. Cheap flights will go to out of town airports that you may need to travel from on buses rather than trains and arrive in isolated bus stops. Even train stations can be pretty dangerous late at night and you may have to travel at non-ideal times if you're on a budget.

If you have free time you could volunteer with whatever charity appeals to you e.g. maybe helping disabled people? So satisfying to know you can help?

I had a baby at 30. Before then the weekends were my busiest days at work.

Catch up with friends and family, parkrun, country walking, Netflix and voluntary work.

No, I pay no attention to whose post I'm responding to.

Just offering one POV.

@BettyBardMacDonald Are you just turning up on this thread to let everyone know how excellent and confident you are? That's twice that you have made a big show of disbelief when replying to my posts. First one was about holidaying solo and now the pub.

I'm glad you don't mind doing these things on your own and that's great for you but surely you accept that everyone is different and some people aren't comfortable with these things and shouldn't force themselves to be just because YOU are.

I used to work with someone who would go to a certain pub on her own and just hang out but she was a regular there and knew the other regulars. I don’t think it would be a good idea to just turn up at some random pub alone.

I think pubs are places that are associated with socialising (like restaurants) and this is what makes it awkward. Coffee shops on the other hand I would go to alone and do all the things you mention quite happily.

Why assume they would feel sorry for you?

I often have a drink while reading, scrolling on my phone, people watching, etc. and no one need feel sorry for me.

It's strange to me to see how many people were indoctrinated to think being alone = being pitiful. No wonder so many women grasp at the lowest lowlife rather than be solo.

I can’t think of anything worse!

That's even worse! Walking into your local and people you know seeing you sitting there on your own and feeling sorry for you! Not a chance!

If it’s a local place where you may know people?

Yeah true, I guess to some extent it does depend on what you want.

As well as my close friends, I do have friends who I don’t have super deep or long standing friendships with but I still really click with them on some level and see them as good people that I can go a bit beyond small talk with.

I’ve always been quality over quantity as far as friendships go. So yeah I suppose I’m quite choosy about who I’m spending time with on a regular basis.

I don’t honestly think so. I do believe this poster was describing her weekends when she was a teenager and maybe early twenties. She had a large group of best friends who could spend every Friday night and Saturday getting pissed and then had the same best friends to spend Sunday with hungover.

I did that too in my teens and early twenties. It was heaven, and it was temporary.

No judgement. But I assume OP is a lot older - she is struggling with loneliness at the weekend, so it’s unlikely she has a large group of friends who would be this available. Also if older people want to spend their weekends this way, fair play. But lots of people’s activities broaden - they might still do this occasionally but usually not two nights every weekend.

and the older we get the more we want out of our weekends - day time stuff.

but maybe I am just a bitch😎. I have explained this many many times on this thread and a lot of propel have agreed.

If you don’t already have good friends who are in the same “boat” it’s really not easy to just go out and “get” a bunch of childfree friends just so they may be more available.

Depends what you want really. I don’t think you need to have a deep relationship with someone just to hang out with them. But yes making friends when you get past a certain age is much harder.

Judgey much??

But I’m sure you can see I was trying to be helpful and you’re trying to be antagonistic.

He’s out for 12 hours, it’s not just a few hours shopping. I mentioned lots of ideas on how to fill an entire day without a significant other or kids other than shopping. No harm meant.

I'm single, adult child living a distance away, friends and and family all at least an hour away.

Summer's fine as I'm busy with lots of things.

I've started volunteering as music festival steward with Oxfam, which is one reason I'm busy in the summer, would recommend it as it makes it free to attend and loads of people go solo. Makes life a bit more exciting too - I did my first ever Glastonbury this year.

I've found a good local meetup group that has a couple of events most weeks. Find one or start one?

Otherwise in winter I have to be careful not to hibernate/isolate too much. I try to have something 'biggish' at least once a month, usually staying sat night with family or friends, or a day trip to local city with theatre or something. You really need something to look forward to.

Otherwise winter box set binges, lazy weekend morning in bed with croissants and a book, getting out for a walk, video calls with people I can't visit, it does drag on though by Springtime.

I'm thinking of a winter sun holiday this year.

I guess the solution would be to get friends who are in the same boat as you (ie no children or whatever).

It’s fine to have some friends with no kids and partner but it’s not really a feasible “solution”, if you don’t already have them. I’ve known most of my friends for over 10 years. They are really great healthy safe friendships that I’ve nurtured over two decades in some cases. I truly enjoy their company and some are closer to me than some of my family.

If you don’t already have good friends who are in the same “boat” it’s really not easy to just go out and “get” a bunch of childfree friends just so they may be more available.

Myself and other posters have alluded to this upthread regarding the issues around joining clubs.

Firstly it’s harder to make good friends after a certain age, secondly the pool of people above 35 who don’t have kids or a partner is relatively slim. This makes finding friends I genuinely click with and trust, who are also child free and single difficult, and needless to say I don’t just want friends where the only thing in common is that we are child free and single.

TLDR; it’s not easy!