To think you should compliment someone’s home?

No it shouldn’t matter if other people like my house/clothes/style/taste but actually it’s lovely when they do and even lovelier when they say so.

It serves as a little boost. Once if the strangest things I’ve learnt on MN is that some people are genuinely offended by compliments but I love them! And because I love them I choose to give them liberally. I have never had anyone respond poorly.

Depends what kind of friend, if I didn't like it I would find something else to talk about it, if I did like it I might mention, but generally I'd be specific rather than just generic.
I think being fake would stop you having a closer friendship, even though it sounds nice it's actually not a great idea.

Well, there’s usually something nice to say.

However I voted YABU. I don’t think it’s necessary or a knee-jerk reaction like “Thank you” prompts “You’re welcome” or “I’m sorry for your loss” on a bereavement.

If you see something you can comment on positively, that’s nice, but it isn’t a significant part of the social interaction.

I certainly wouldn’t notice if someone came to my house the first time and didn’t say anything about it.

Not at all. I don't think I've ever been in a home where I couldn't find a single positive thing to say.

Slightly to my surprise I find myself agreeing with you OP, but it's one of those unwritten (NT?) "rules" that I've been following all my adult life without even realising I was doing it.

Perhaps I've misunderstood what a compliment is. Saying "oh you have your grandmum's teapot out" isn't a compliment to me, it's just a comment about something I've noticed.

My brother and SIL recently had their kitchen redone. I don't particularly like it - I think the layout is bad, and I find their choice of units, flooring and tiles really jaring. So I am not going to lie and tell them I love the new kitchen. Instead I said "the space is really much bigger now you've moved that wall" which is a factual comment, but not really a compliment, but not something anyone could take offence to either. I can see that not saying anything would be impolite.

It doesn’t have to be a lie, most people can find something positive to say and at the same time most people like to be on the receiving end of praise.

Lifting people up a little is a nice thing to do.

No. I don't. I also don't want people saying it in my house either.

I'm not a big fan of pointless 'etiquette', lists of rules of what to say and do that indicates that you are the right sort of person.

I value genuineness much more.

I equally hate people saying when they meet me that they like my hair or that I'm looking well or have lost weight when my hair is scraggly, I look like death and another 1/2 stone has joined the gang.

If they are your friends you shouldn't need to say things you don't mean.

The 'of course' bit doesn't make any sense at all.

Are you only friends with people whose homes are to your taste?

My best friend of nearly 30 years lives in a tiny council flat, in a tower block on an awful estate.

It's never stopped her being my friend though?

It shouldn't matter if others like it or not.

This.

Homes matter to people and many people do take pride in their home

i agree with this.

for most people it’s one of their biggest investments, whether that be in time, money or effort.

If I like something then I'll say so.
I don't lie and compliment for the sake of it.

So you would lie to your friends just to say something? Weird.

Absolutely. It’s polite to. And they're my friends so of course I like their taste.

I always tell my friends how nice I think their homes are when I visit - even if it’s not to my taste in the slightest.

It wouldn't occur to me to lie to my friends?

Nor do I think they expect everyone they're friends with to compliment their homes.

When I visit my friends, it's because I want to see them. It doesn't really occur to me that I should be passing comment on the place they've chosen to live.

Different if it's natural and to my taste, as I'd just come out and say "Oh that's lovely" or similar I suppose?

Yes of course it’s good manners to comment positively on someone’s home.

i suppose there are some circumstances where you might not be able to find any positives in which case, perhaps better to keep quiet but I’d imagine they are very few and far between.

even if someone has moved into an absolutely building site you’d manage “congratulations, it must be fabulous having moved into your new home. Or if they’re living in the most ghastly renovation you could say “wow you’ve worked so hard. What an achievement, you must be delighted?”

Yes I think so. I’m older and compliments to me are socially normal. And surely you can give a genuine compliment ..oh you have your grandmums teapot out… or some thing like that. I also believe in complimenting people’s appearance and have no difficulty finding something genuine to comment on…is that your mums necklace?…. Homes matter to people and many people do take pride in their home. I think affirming that is a nice thing to do.

I can't say I expect anyone to make any comments about my house to be honest

I think it’s a bit rude to comment on the house in general, a bit like you’re judging it like a hotel guest or as an estate agent.
Commenting on something specific like ‘I love that picture’ or ‘nice colour’ or something, fine.

I would usually do this but I don't know that I notice whether others do when they visit.

It's polite to say something nice but I don't think it's rude not to either (unless the visit is a housewarming or a first visit after building work or something).

I think you should compliment the house if you see something about it that is particularly noteworthy or you particularly like.

I don't want my friends to think they have to pay me compliments out of some sort of politeness. And unless they have come particularly to see the house, I assume the point of the visit is to spend time with me.

(on the flipside coming to someone's house for the first time and criticising things about it, is most definitely rude).

I think it's a bit odd to say their home is nice if you don't like it.

Better to find something you do like in their home and compliment that. Even if it's a kettle or something.

Yes I think it's good manners. Surely there is one positive thing you can say.

I'd always find something nice to say....even if house wasn't to my taste eg you don't have far to get into town eg oh that's a lovely paint colour on yours walls....even if rest of house was horrendous

But I wouldn't lie

I do think that if you visit someone at Christmas it’s good manners to compliment their tree, even if it is not to your taste.