To feel so sad about my life

My mum used to say that the world is full of the haves and the have nots. It’s very true and whilst life is unfair - it’s just the way it is sadly. Some people make poor choices when they’re young which can affect the course of their life adversely… others are lucky.

But. Comparison, as others have said, is definitely the thief of joy. No matter how bad things get - try and take some comfort for the things that you DO have, that others don’t. Your home for example. However bad things are - there is always some poor soul worse off. It might not make you full of the joys of spring but it might help.

I notice you phrase a lot of things as "I haven't harmed anyone" and "I've never done anything bad". Which is fine, but for people to actively like you (as opposed to tolerating you or not objecting to your presence), you need to actively BE something that makes them like you. Funny, charming, attractive, sociable, active, creative, something positive. People will 100% overlook bad behaviour in a person they actively like. A likeable arsehole will go further in life than a mildly pleasant but nondescript person.

Having the confidence to say no to things you don't want to do and tell an unreasonable neighbour to go fuck himself (instead of wondering why bad things always happen to you) is also a likeable quality.

Give yourself permission to think what you actually want, and say you want it, and not take it personally if you don't get it, and tell people to fuck off as appropriate.

Life can be tough and hard.

I understand everything you’re saying.

If I had to go back and list every hard time I’d ever had no one would believe me.

we can’t compare other people’s outsides with our insides. You will probably be coming accross as happy, capable, a great Mum, successful job, beautiful home etc.

as for him nextdoor I wouldn’t give him a lick of my snot. If he does this again either scream right back at him or report him.

I’d have a word with his wife. Ask if she still wants to be friends (Possibly he treats her badly) I’f she doesn’t then its no great loss.

I would also be screwing your sons Dad for maintenance big time.

You’re doing great - well done

It might be helpful to read The Reality Slap by Russ Harris. It deals with this very well.

The Reality Slap 2nd Edition: How to survive and thrive when life hits hard
amzn.eu/d/3grbepv

If this life was all there is it would indeed be incredibly upsetting to see people “getting away with” horrendous behaviour.

I absolutely see where you’re coming from, OP.

Life isn’t fair - 100 percent

but you are a mother and you sleep well knowing you are a good person ❤️

but you have had a poor hand in life

is there anyway you can be happy ? Book a nice mini break with your child? Can you move house ?

Life isn’t fair.
that is the bottom line, but how you deal with that fact, how you approach life makes all the difference.
You can be nice and kind without being a total pushover/ door mat. Also you really have no idea how those with fancy cars etc feel about their life.

im sorry life has given you lemons, but you know how the saying goes.

Life is unjust and it does hurt to see bad people not just getting away with bad behaviour but even flourishing. It also hurts horribly to see your own child suffering. You have had a hard time and you're allowed to feel hurt and angry.

There’s a tone to your writing that makes me think you may be suffering with depression. Have you discussed your feelings with a healthcare professional? Do you have your parents for support?

Please stop comparing your life to others. Comparison truly is the thief of joy.

I’m sorry you’re finding things tough 💐

OP, whether or not you’re a truthful person, sexually faithful in relationships etc has absolutely no correlation with your child’s disability, or how much money you have. Similarly, there’s no correlation between bullying, lying or infidelity and financial success or happiness.

You’re constructing a false narrative there.

What does strike me from your post is that you seem to position yourself in the ‘service’ role in many of your relationships — you financially supported a partner who then left you while pregnant, and you seem to be acting as a form of unpaid house servant/translator/driver/childminder for the neighbour who shouted at you for ‘stealing’ his water.

Bluntly, this is likely to be part of the problem. People-pleasing is a demonstration of poor self-esteem, and an attempt to ‘buy’ liking or love from others by rendering services. It shows you think you’re only of value when you provide services. Stop doing this. Cultivate good, mutually-respectful relationships. Pursue your ex for child maintenance through CMS, if you haven’t previously. Have therapy to put a stop to people-pleasing patterns.

Some of us get a shit hand in life. I have chronic health issues and my one child is severely disabled. Never had much luck with men.

A friend of mine has a spinal leak and can't even shower without severe pain. She spends her life laying down.

It sounds like you're grieving and therapy might help to process your grief. Then you might feel able to make better choices and relationships going forward. Happiness follows contentment with how things are even though life always brings challenges. My life is quite lonely at times and I feel some sadness still but in general I'm much more content. I enjoy the simple things and live life for the day. It took years of therapy to get here.

I'm a bit confused about what's going on with your neighbour. You're cleaning his house , cooking dinner and taking him to Dr appointments and he's harassing you about his water bill?

If that's the case, stop doing anything for him and ask him to stop harassing you. Get a doorbell that records, including audio and start a diary of his harassment. I'd also get advice from the police.

Regarding the rest, you sound very down and I'm wondering if therapy would help you process some of these feelings.

They say that comparison is the thief of joy, so I would stop using social media for a while.