Random stranger sat on my table at a dinner and tribute act show

I wish all 'blame it on the generation' posts were banned!

He was of the punk/new romantics generation not something from the 50s

'Chivalrous'? 😂

They also were told to go away if not wanted.

But it shouldn't be!!

Given age of the man, he came of age in the 80s…. Women were not supplicant handmaidens then!! So not a ‘ generational thing’ so much as an entitled prick trying it on thing. There are tossers like that at all ages. I see it coming in boy children I meet too to be honest!

I do agree. Was just pondering a clearer way of communicating "go away and leave me alone" for future use.
He absolutely should have taken the hint and gone.

Yes OP it was your VIP seat, not you. Don't flatter yourself that this much older man chuntering on about his saddo divorce is trying it on with you. He just wants a comfier seat to watch an Abba tribute band.

Seriously were some of you born in a cabbage patch, that you can't recognise the oldest chat up approach in the book.

But OP assumed that he was taking the seat away so she didn't have a pre prepared response.
I hate this idea that we as women are responsible for repelling these creeps. Surely the onus should be on them not to approach, or I get the whole keeping the species argument so be ready to back off without being insulted or commenting negatively if the woman is not interested.

That's exactly what I was thinking!

Men are perfectly capable of socialising with each other. Not every single human interaction should be based on sexual attraction.

Suggested response to "is this seat taken?"
"You are welcome to take it away to your table"

I used to travel on my own for work a lot. I didn't always want room service and so eat out (and on days off had a drink- yes a woman on her own). I developed a very hard Paddington stare and a way of saying no insert whatever ridiculous demand was being made of me that emanated contempt and I still got blokes who couldn't take a hint. I'm older now and go away solo for walking/wild swimming adventures/pub lunches and I am so bored of having to justify my solo existence/act as a temporary salve to some blokes social incompetence. Go away I don't want to talk to you, I don't want to make polite chit chat because you see that as a green light to talk shit at me for 45 min, I don't need to 'cheer up love', I don't need directions or advice and you don't need to know my marital status/whereabouts of my husband or his views on my solo trip. It's really really annoying. This time is so precious to me and I hate that it gets interrupted by this shit. It's also crap for all the normal men whom you could have a polite 10 min exchange with because now I don't want to talk to any of the fuckers. How can you be so socially inept? If a woman wants to chat she'll make eye, contact smile at you, make further eye contact and (shocking I know) may even approach you. If not leave her the fuck alone.

I go to things by myself, I wouldn't mind if someone chatted to me. The chances of me wanting to chat for more than 5 minutes are pretty slim though, and I'd expect them to realise when it wasn't going anywhere.

Any old random company is not better than no company.

Has not happened to me though, or no more than a passing comment.

I like your style OP. Chose to go alone, enjoyed yourself, drew a line at his behaviour. He was obnoxious for staying so long when you were clearly not interested, and trying to take advantage of your good table.

Cross posted with @rookiemere , type too slowly 🙄😁

"When the show carried on he didn't move"

"Aren't your friends going to miss you"
(Hint one)
No it's fine (erm, no it's clearly not)

I ignored him and turned away
Hint two
Still stayed (erm...)

He didn't "leave her" - only when she basically had to say piss off and leave me alone 😁

but when the shoe carried on he didn't move!!! I said aren't your friends going to miss you, he was like its fine!! I ignored him and turned away, I'm pissed cos he didn't go away and plus I had paid extra for VIP tickets at a table at the front. His friend cane to give him a drink, I thought bloody hell no way,told him not to put the drink down on my table and can you go back with your friends. Bloody ruined my night abit, why did he do that

If you're up for chatting and meeting people like you, that's all good, but if you're in the habit of going to chat people up you should take cues as to notice when someone isn't interested in small talk and being chatted up.

@HoHoHoliday you're missing the bit when OP politely asked him to leave "won't your friends be missing you ?". Or is that her fault as well for being too subtle ?

I do get what you're saying, but in this environment and era, people - especially men - should be aware that their advances may not be welcome and be ready to back off if their initial chat is rebuffed.

@Prontehpronto I reckon in future, move spare chair away, or put a jacket on it.

I'm sure. Several of them are in long-term relationships with them.

And, these are professional women mostly who are impressive for all sorts of reasons.

Men try it on with women young enough to be their granddaughters, you being 40 and him in his 60s will have been seen as the perfect age gap 🤮

I agree with this! I'm single and often do stuff like this alone. I'm trying to date but hating online dating and would love to just randomly bump into someone like this.
He saw you there alone and took a chance, he was polite, you knocked him back and he left you. It's silly for you to have let it ruin your night. It's just a simple human to human interaction!

Well done for telling him! My partner and I get this allllll the time (same sex). It’s like they think two women or one woman cannot possibly be having a good time without a man present. We used to be quite polite and now we just tell them to go away too.

Your friends fathers in their 80s and 90s are dating women in their 50s? Are you sure? Chatting them up, I'll give you that. But multiple 50 something women with men 40 years older? Surely only in those mens dreams.

Jesus, could you be anymore misogynistic

The drama was caused by the man, hth

its quite an odd thing to go to on your own though, so probably thought you'd been stood up and felt sorry for you
Just stop! It's not odd.
Who cares if he felt sorry for her? He needs to mind his own business. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't feel sorry for a bloke by himself.

Being on your own at a night out like a show doesn't mean you're automatically up for being chatted up/at by blokes though, so what's being straight got to do with anything?
I'd get it if you were at a singles night or speed dating night out or something, but just at a show?!.
It's a good point he didn't go chatting to the lone bloke.

There have been more than enough threads on MN with men in that age group chatting up women in their 20s.

I'm no longer surprised when friends' fathers (80s and 90s) are dating women in their 50s to be fair. I know men in their seventies who date swipe right for anyone over 42 or thereabouts.

But, that wasn't your scenario.