Random stranger sat on my table at a dinner and tribute act show

This is true and I can’t speak for this man in particular that Op encountered but the wider issue is a lot of men that age will ignore women their own age and only try and date women under 45! I’ve heard many women this man’s age complain of being invisible to men their age.

The reason being many men their age seem to be deluded that all younger women are just waiting for a much older man, and they wrongly think they look better and younger than women their age when often that’s not the case.

Exactly 😂

@shuggles And even if it that were true it still doesn’t take away from the fact a man in his 60s hitting on a much younger woman is generally going to be unwelcome.

As I said he should’ve read the room better and not hit on a woman young enough to be his daughter who has booked a VIP table for herself and was quite content sitting on her own.

It’s rare this would happen the other way around.

What "signals" was the OP sending out for him to assume his presence might be welcome?

Is this the automatic signal that a woman on her own must always be in need of (and be grateful for) male company?

I agree. What this comes down to mostly is a story of how someone came and misread the signals, but went away when asked. It's not really that big a deal. OP, you should just have asked him to leave sooner, or even stopped him sitting at your table.

OTOH, that's what I want to say about @Screamingabdabz' massively ageist generalisation of what men of one generation do. How would that sound if you put it terms of what men of one race did?

its quite an odd thing to go to on your own though, so probably thought you'd been stood up and felt sorry for you

I can't believe people still think this way in 2024.

This was a booked event, not a night at the local 'spoons. OP paid extra for her VIP table. The man, I assume, didn't share costs for OP's VIP table. The man was with his friends until he cornered OP and plonked his unwanted arse at her table.

He did not approach the lone male at another table, nor did he implore the lone man to get up and dance like he did OP.

I think most of us are clear as to the agenda here.

It's a shame people think it's odd to go out on your own- why do you think it's strange?
I go out on my own all the time because none of my friends share my interests and I dont really care nor do I want to chat to random strangers.

So the op is unreasonable about not wanting a strange man sitting at her table.
You know the one she bought.
But he's not unreasonable for plonking his hole down beside her.
Ok.

Definitely agree with this. Pushy and weird.

Unfortunately men like this think women are desperate god their company and that women are there to entertain them.

Unfortunately there appear to be plenty of women who think women are desperate for the company of men like this and that women should be grateful to them.

But did you actually say the words ‘No, take the chair with you back to your own table. I want to enjoy this event by myself’?

I can only assume you met your husband through mutual friends since that's the only way you allow a man to talk to you

How absolutely ridiculous. The OP didn't need a man to talk to her when she was watching a show and having her dinner.

If I asked you to go for a run in the middle of your working day or to make a cake when you were at the cinema or have a chat with my aunt when you were at a job interview then I wouldn't assume that you never went for runs, made cakes or chatted.

You don't have to things, even if you enjoy them, at a time you don't want to do them and more importantly you don't have to do things with people you don't choose to do them with.

Men of that generation don’t listen to women unless you make it very very clear

If he’s 52 he was born in the 70s and will have had to listen to women his whole life. Sounds like a creep, his age is no excuse.

Well done, op. I’d guess he was either on the pull or just fancied a better seat, either way you were right to tell him to leave.

What a limited existence some of you have that you can't imagine doing things on your own or that you have to have company and that women should be grateful if random men take pity on them.

How awful having to listen to a man talking about his divorce when you're having a night out. I think he's rude to approach you with his woes, but most probably on the pull, a lot of single men in their sixties have the idea a forty year old woman is perfect for them, that's why they're single.

Unless he was an actual fucking idiot though at the point where the op turned her back to him and ignored him, he could probably have realised she wasn't into chatting with him. Surely a good social interaction involves both people being willing participants.

And the op wasn't staring at her phone, she was enjoying a show that she had paid money to see.

I think this is a problem with a lot of men. In that they don't/won't read the room.

Yes of course there's nothing wrong with a man approaching a woman in a social situation. A great many relationships, friendships and flings start that way. It's the fact that he completely ignored it not being reciprocated that was the problem. I know it's not all men but I know a lot of men like this and you just know he was thinking that he was just trying to be friendly or chivalrous or whatever without acknowledging that the other person did not actually want his company.

Also in my experience a lot of men in their sixties totally see women in their forties as a 'similar age' and totally fine whereas women in their sixties do not view men in their forties in the same way!

Had you paid for your seat or the table? If the former yabu if the latter yanbu.

This is also all bollox

*let
*for

Do you not have punctuation/apostrophies on your keyboard?
And are you sober yet?

What do you mean? She has used punctuation/apostrophes.

Gosh I don't know which is worse, I'm defo young enough to be his daughter so doubt he was trying his luck with me...

I bet he was. I wonder why he didn't go and talk to the man who was on his own? 🤔

You mentioned your husband and later turned away from him and he still didn't take the hint. Creepy fucker. I'm glad you told him to leave.

I think you handled it well. You were polite at first, turned away to keg him know you didn't want his company and when that failed, you told him to leave. Unfortunately men like this think women are desperate god their company and that women are there to entertain them.

I’d have thought he’d have thought the age difference was perfect. I reckon most single 60yo men would prefer a woman in her 40s rather than someone their own age. I’m not saying it’s right but you only need to look at OLD bios to see it’s true.

He probably thought he was doing you a favour 🙄

Now it's happened you are prepared and next time can say 'I thought you were asking to take the chair, I don't want company thanks"

It's frustrating when we go into politeness mode and put up with something we shouldn't have to for fear of offending.