Sitting in the garden whilst dc in bed

for goodness sake.. no wonder your child has anxiety if you are like this about sitting in your own garden when they are asleep?

i do wonder what this world is coming too that people are actually worried about not being withing 10 foot of their offsprint just in case something bad happens?

if you really are that worroed, buy a baby monitor and make sure the front door is locekd! it really is simple.

and maybe see someone about your anxiety

Aah, you jest. Sorry. But one can never be too sure on here

Exactly. Which is why DH and I take it in turns to sleep. Our youngest goes to university soon and I'm looking forward to being able to sleep all night!

This is insanity!

Completely fine

But they could vomit or choke at 3 in the morning when, presumably, you would be asleep and unaware.

Your daughter is anxious at the moment, I sympathise as I had a very anxious DS. But what you need to be doing, as well as all the stuff you are doing to settle her etc., is modelling what a "normal, non-anxious" existence looks like. I put that in inverted commas because I do appreciate there is no such thing as normal, but I am sure you get what I mean.

Flapping around in your own state of anxiety in case something bad happens is not going to be helpful. Her coming down stairs to see a happy mum and dad enjoying the garden will be fine.

OP you sound a very anxious parent - are you sure that your kid is not picking up on some of your anxieties as anxiety can be learned as normal behaviour when you are a kid

This is what happened to me

Of course it's fine, she's 6 not 6 months (and even then with a baby monitor it's fine)

I co-sleep with my almost 2yo - he does just settle after milk. Sometimes he'll wake up and be upset I'm not there, if it's past my usual bedtime around 11pm. But then he just needs a pat on the head and a dummy and will go off again. I do think what your describing is unusual.

But you're not co-sleeping? You're fussing over her until she's asleep and she's 6. Are you going to do this until she's 16? What age do you tackle this?

Well something isn’t working about the system you are all using then.

It is not necessary to fuss around 6 year olds like this at bedtime. Take advice from this thread and train her to get used to being on her own. It’s not good for anyone not to be able to get themselves to sleep.

Are the 4 out of 5 Mums that do this all members of the same Anxiety Club?!

Ah I hate the bearer of bad news but one of you is going to have to stay up all night monitoring that ☹️

So because someone says something it must be true?

Could you be contributing to your child's anxiety?

Does that mean for the past 6 years you haven't left your child at all? That's exhausting. It's no wonder relationships fall apart more these days. Once baby is asleep it should be adult time. No way would I be even popping upstairs to check on a 6 yr old, I'd always stick my head in on the way to bed to make sure all is OK but if there is a problem otherwise they can come get me or call for help.

You need to work on bedtime too. At that age it's up to bed, get yourself ready and Mum comes up for a kiss or story or whatever. Dd is old enough to understand this and to be told its nonsense to expect you to stay with her. I know that's much easier said than done and she will say she can't do it etc but i think this is a time when a bit of tough love is needed.

Surely one of you should be going with them to university?

😂

You are not far off the age where overnights start with eg brownies. So I’d be looking to make sure she can settle herself and waken alone without panic. If she is able bodied she is able to shout or get out of bed to come and find you.

4 year.olds generally don't need naps so this doesn't surprise me.

OP what your doing is fine. Along as your front door is securely locked, your fire alarms etc are working well and you can hear your 6 year old i don't see an issue.lol unless there is a massive back story and you have a mansion.

Good point.

I'm so glad you specified it would have been your own vomit though.

You need to knock the sleeping with her before she falls asleep as well. That's a huge rod you are making for yourself . A six year old doesn't have anxieties (unless something horrendous has happened) they are just normal childhood worries and children need to learn how to deal with them, you are going to make things worse. As a society we really need to stop pathologising things.

She's 6. The friend who mentioned committing is an idiot, unless they are still supervising their 6 year old 24/7- which would also make them an idiot. You're in your property, the door is open. I don't see any issue or why anyone would make one

Biggest one is traffic. Drivers are so busy focusing on other cars / where the next pump will be free, that they're not watching out for pedestrians. PLUS, you've got obscured vision from the pumps themselves, which compounds the problem.

You also have a lot of trip hazards - kerbs up to the shop, or around the pumps themselves. Manhole covers. Hoses.

Chemical hazards from the petrol itself, or oil which has leaked from a vehicle, or from the car wash. Slip hazards from water and detergent leaving the car wash.

Members of the public, noise pollution if a motorway is nearby, broken glass and other "sharps"...

You're definitely still fine taking your child across the forecourt. Most people go their whole lives without incident. But there do seem to be a lot of very safety conscious people who insist that leaving your child is the more dangerous option, which has always seemed odd to me.

Vomiting and choking in her sleep and you might not hear? Are you a vampire? How on earth do you manage on a daily basis?
I think her anxiety comes from you.

My DS was 7 when he wanted to slee in a tent in our back garden, (he was back in by 2am) and of course we let him, he's in a secure (inside locked garden due to dogs we have ) and an unlocked front door. Jeezo, just because you have kids doesn't mean you have to stop living life!!

Before the diagnosis I had to have Persistence. He used to act like he was the boss and I was the child.

Back up and down the stairs constantly. It’s draining but it pays off in the long run. Once my Ds was diagnosed he was given melatonin to help him sleep. But before that it was a constant battle, you just have to be Firm it’s no life lying with your little one until their asleep it’s going to eventually ruin your relationship with your dp. I know how frustrating it is and how badly you just want them to fall asleep but laying with them every night is NOT the answer, you’re setting yourself up for a very bad, long running circle.
be firm and and set some boundaries.

1. Put to bed. Kiss good night book ect “it’s bedtime now”
2. if they get out of bed, you put them back in bed and remind them it’s bedtime.
3. if they get out of bed again, you put them back in bed with a firm, I’ve told you it’s bed time.
4. If they get up again you put them back in bed and you don’t say nothing and you repeat this until they eventually get bored and fall to sleep.