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Original poster

Sitting in the garden whilst dc in bed

172 replies

Wherearethestarsthen · 17/08/2024 21:54

Do you do it?

Dd has just turned 6 and is going through some anxieties so one of us will lie with her until she falls asleep in our bed, then either fall asleep/go on phone etc or come downstairs to watch tv.
We both sat in the back garden this evening and kept the patio open, front patio locked, she is upstairs in main bedroom

Would you do this? Is it ok?

OP posts:
BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 18/08/2024 21:57

Wherearethestarsthen · 18/08/2024 21:43

@BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 Read all comments…she said she should have learnt to self sooth 5 years ago, not everyone does this and especially not where I am

Well most people have taught their children to go to sleep by 6, so...

Peonies12 · 18/08/2024 21:54

Of course it’s fine. And surely you can see why your DD is anxious, if you genuinely are worried about sitting outside. A 6 YO should not need a parent to be with them to fall asleep.

Flossyts · 18/08/2024 21:48

Wherearethestarsthen · 18/08/2024 20:04

@AnywhereAnyoneAnyTime Not everyone thinks the same as you! Did you let your kids cry it out and believe this was good for them too

I let my kids cry it out - look about 3/5 minutes a sleep over the course of about a week when they were 4 months old and all 3 have slept beautifully ever since. They like going to bed. No being scared to go to bed alone at 6 years old. I don’t hear many people that did the same say their children have ongoing sleep issues.

You do what you like- but don’t be so judgemental. It’s you that’s anxious to go in the garden when you have a 6 year old that won’t self settle. Those that let them cry it out aren’t posting that type of thing.

Original poster
Wherearethestarsthen · 18/08/2024 21:43

@BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 Read all comments…she said she should have learnt to self sooth 5 years ago, not everyone does this and especially not where I am

OP posts:
Wabberjockey · 18/08/2024 21:39

I put the babies in bed and go out to the farm. It’s fine.

MintyNew · 18/08/2024 20:56

Absolutely ridiculous that you are entertaining this nonsense op. No wonder she's 6 and still can't sort herself out. You both are at home, right in the same property ??

DinnaeFashYersel · 18/08/2024 20:44

Yes of course.

BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 18/08/2024 20:43

Wherearethestarsthen · 18/08/2024 20:04

@AnywhereAnyoneAnyTime Not everyone thinks the same as you! Did you let your kids cry it out and believe this was good for them too

Cry it out at 6? Presumably you mean 6 years here - not 6 months. You're completely bonkers. Put your kid to bed in their own bed and go and sit in your garden! Christ alive.

Icedcoffeeforme · 18/08/2024 20:38

I clicked YABU by accident but I think it’s fine!

JoBrandsCleaner · 18/08/2024 20:32

Well yeah, you’re hardly the McCannes are you.

openforall · 18/08/2024 20:12

How big is your garden?!!

Original poster
Wherearethestarsthen · 18/08/2024 20:04

@AnywhereAnyoneAnyTime Not everyone thinks the same as you! Did you let your kids cry it out and believe this was good for them too

OP posts:
AnywhereAnyoneAnyTime · 18/08/2024 19:57

I despair at some of these threads.

And I’d be knocking the staying in bed with her until she falls asleep pronto. She’s six. She should have learned to self settle about five years ago.

misscris · 18/08/2024 19:49

MissingMoominMamma · 17/08/2024 23:16

This is a joke, right?

Who will watch for vomit when they’re at university?

Show quote history

And if they’re typical students, they will be going out and getting drunk, which increases the chances of vomiting!!

Rhaenys · 18/08/2024 19:42

I think it would be very extreme for you to not want to do that. Your garden is literally a part of your house.

Coco2024 · 18/08/2024 19:29

Put a baby camera in the room for reassurance

bexollie · 18/08/2024 19:15

Never heard such over protective stuff before. A kid will wake up and come down they have to worry at times and all kids get anxious it's life. To grow up well balanced they need to work out problems for themselves .
Get an amazon camera for the room it will double up as security too then any movement and you can go and see them but relax , chill they are 6 years old .

MikeRafone · 18/08/2024 17:23

What do people actually think might happen to a child left in a car though? I've never got a straight answer to that....

friends car caught fire when he was parked outside my house and no-one was inside the car - it was a scary experience and I would think it would be more so if a child was unattended in the car

YouAndMeAndThem · 18/08/2024 12:49

What do people actually think might happen to a child left in a car though? I've never got a straight answer to that....

OP, you need to stop taking what others say as gospel. Your child will be fine upstairs safe in her bed. She would be upset if she woke and you're not there, but that would happen if you're in her bed, downstairs, in the shower, outside, doing chores etc etc. youcannot prevent children being upset sometimes. 6 years old is a very big time in kids lives, with new hormones, new independence, there are often emotional outbursts. Not everything needs a diagnosis, not everything is anxiety or autism.

Flatulence · 18/08/2024 12:48

Unless your garden is multiple acres and you choose to sit at the furthest point from the house then of course this is fine. It's no different to being in the lounge watching TV. If your child calls for you or comes looking for you, you're within earshot etc.

For most people, the garden is essentially another room in your home. And just as you'd think nothing of settling down to watch TV while your child is in bed, or tidying the kitchen etc., sitting out in your garden is fine!

AnonyMoi · 18/08/2024 12:24

NotSoHotMess24 · 18/08/2024 00:05

Biggest one is traffic. Drivers are so busy focusing on other cars / where the next pump will be free, that they're not watching out for pedestrians. PLUS, you've got obscured vision from the pumps themselves, which compounds the problem.

You also have a lot of trip hazards - kerbs up to the shop, or around the pumps themselves. Manhole covers. Hoses.

Chemical hazards from the petrol itself, or oil which has leaked from a vehicle, or from the car wash. Slip hazards from water and detergent leaving the car wash.

Members of the public, noise pollution if a motorway is nearby, broken glass and other "sharps"...

You're definitely still fine taking your child across the forecourt. Most people go their whole lives without incident. But there do seem to be a lot of very safety conscious people who insist that leaving your child is the more dangerous option, which has always seemed odd to me.

Show quote history

Ah ok, I see. Thanks for clarifying. I still believe that a child is safer with their caregiver than being left in the car. I don't consider myself a "nutter" but who knows...

arethereanyleftatall · 18/08/2024 12:20

The anxious parents = anxious child comments are spot on.

As a teacher I see it all the time.

If I speak to a parent first, 9 times out of 10 I can tell you which of the kids will have anxiety.

Britishsummertime22 · 18/08/2024 12:01

Reallybadidea · 17/08/2024 22:13

Exactly. Which is why DH and I take it in turns to sleep. Our youngest goes to university soon and I'm looking forward to being able to sleep all night!

Show quote history

You watch your 18 year old all night while they sleep???!

Thelittlecatinatree · 18/08/2024 11:55

You're not helping your child's development by treating her like this, it's not normal at 6. At 6 she should be able to go to sleep in her own bed, in her own room and not need someone with her until she falls asleep. The fact that your group of 4-5 friends all have problems with their children sleeping indicates you must all be following each others bad advice. Take the advice given here and train your child to go to sleep on her own.

Also, your child will pick up on your anxiety, even if you think you're hiding it, and this will cause her to feel anxious about various things so address your own anxiety in order to help her.

x2boys · 18/08/2024 11:52

Wherearethestarsthen · 17/08/2024 22:07

I think it’s just because of the way she is at the moment, but also a friend told me about a friend of hers who won’t do it and thinks it’s wrong as the kids may vomit/choke etc

Well unless you are going to sit and watch over your child 24/7 any.of those things can happen when you are downstairs ,in the next room,having a bath etc etc.