Strange family member.

All this post tells me is that nothing good ever comes out of these kind of photos - why do people do it?

I'd go around to their house when I know they are both in with DH and have the whole thing out. Show her messages in front of him, ask for the photo to be deleted on the spot and then leave.

Deal with it directly and let them handle the fall out. You have nothing to be ashamed of. Id probably get dh to record the whole thing on a voice player in his pocket as well so that if anyone questions yiur version of events you have proof of how it all went down.

Anyone willing to stick their noses in to defend him can go to hell. I'd rather not have them in my life.

This.

If it was you who was marrying him wouldn’t you want to know?

Tell her.

Why did you allow someone to take topless pictures of you, then? This isn't a normal thing to do. Is this real? What with the 'bless her' comments? She's betrayed everyone's trust. He's an adult man off his barnet and is messenging another adult, nothing to do with his family and he's no danger to your DD. By the sounds of it, the group/public thing might be part of the bride and grooms sex life.

I agree with this approach

Let his partner know. Save her!

Why would you have a photo taken then complain it's being shared?

Have you spoken to any other members of the hen party about this?

If it was a group shot, he could be harassing other women about their topless pic as well.

the finance is not kind and thoughtful. She is immature and thoughtless to have shown her finance the picture.
contact her , ask that she and finance delete the picture . Once this has been done you show her the messages from him.
The risk is that you end up on only fans…
Don’t involve other family members.

Presumably she showed him the photo?

She's not that 'lovely, kind and thoughtful ' if she shared a private intimate photo with her creepy fiance.

Call her out on it and block them both. Make it clear that if the photo ends up being distributed in any way you will take legal action.

I would send the messages to his finance (assuming she showed him the photo) and say something like “FYI please don’t share that photo - this is what I’ve had to deal with as a result” and leave it at that.

I couldn’t ignore and let it lie, it’s too predatory and creepy. He needs calling out ASAP.

*'must have'

I'm not sure that I feel as clear about this as some of the other responses. If I look back at my 20s I did some crazy things despite leading a generally pretty sensible life, and when someone has had a mad night taking substances that send them on a crazy pathway, it doesn't necessarily mean they are on a permanent path of debauchery and abuse. That is not to say I don't think his messages are vile and inappropriate, but I don't think you are in a position to judge whether it is a one off crazy night or a problematic habit. Personally I'd say block him but I really wouldn't escalate this to speak to his partner and father. If he has a serious drug habit it wouldn't take a partner too long to realise that something is amiss. (Probably easier to pick that up than realise a partner is a serial womaniser with sexist views, for example). Sorry you have had to experience this wierd stuff - just have been very upsetting and unsettling. If you want to challenge it then I'd challenge it with the man himself, at a time when he is of sound mind. Presumably he will squirm and need to apologise profusely. If not then you're in a more informed place to decide to escalate it.

He’s a creep - block.

tell the wife but also ask her why the fuck she was showing people!?

also, don’t take topless pics on someone else’s phone. They leave you vulnerable to this kind of thing

Yes, how did the creep get hold of the photo if not from the ‘lovely’ bride ? To be honest, OP, it was dopey to let someone take a topless photo of you in a world of mobiles, image sharing and the internet. Assume Noth8ng is seen only by a single person.

Oh God this is grim 😟 I wouldn't involve your Uncle but I'd definitely want nothing more to do with him which is probably going to need explaining at some point as people in your family are going to notice 😬

Why is it relevant that your 'husband knows about the picture' - He isn't your keeper!!

Don't involve the whole family.

I have never taken drugs but, i know that people do this sometimes recreationally. No need to tell 'his Dad'!!

It sounds mega creepy. Just ignore and block him. I assume you are a fair bit older than him as you are his GodParent (my first cousin is also my GodParent and she is 15 years older than me, which is very unusual to have a GodParent that young generally).

All flashing your breasts to the camera and having it photographed to me sounds odd but, i would expect it to be passed around if i decided to do it.

All the people criticising you for not blocking him off the bat - he's your Godson, FFS! I'm sure you were more than a tad shocked!

I'm really glad you showed your husband and hope you screenshotted the messages before blocking him. If he's shitting himself that you're going to spill, he may go on the attack and try to put the blame on you.

I think you should let your DH deal with him (verbally, I mean). I wouldn't blame you if you never spoke to the creep again.

I do think you have to let the fiance know, though. If he's prepared to make a pass at his Godmother, you can guarantee he's being inappropriate elsewhere.

Christ, what a vile thing to happen, and from such a sickening source!!

I get why you would be hesitant to whip up a family drama but don't go out of your way to protect the little shit either, OP.

I'd send the messages to his wife to be. Say you hope she's ok and it's her choice what she wants to do but you want her to have all the facts. Tell her you have blocked him and want nothing more to do with him.

It's up to you what you tell extended family. I don't know if I would feel comfortable telling his parents

Screenshot, block and then send the screenshots to his fiancee so she knows the kind of man she's about to marry.

They both sound odd, but so do the hens who joined in.