Prison life choice?

OP, maybe your nephew doesn’t want to be out of prision and if that’s the case you can’t help him.

Prision is familiar, it is routine, he knows what to expect. He has a bed, a roof, three meals a day. Access to healthcare when needed. No decisions to make or thinking to do.

On the outside he has none of those things, he has to try to feed himself, he has no home, everything is difficult.

With no strong ties on the outside, I can see the appeal of why he might take the easier option. Sadly he is not a unique tale in that thinking.

I’ve though this, I think prison sounds quite nice compared with homelessness tbh. I read an article on pensioners in Japan deliberately getting caught shoplifting to get sent to prison as they can’t afford to live. As an older society the prison population also has a large proportion of elderly inmates which has lots of challenges institutionally.

He always seems so cheerful, I don't think he has emotional issues.

Everyone who is in and out of prison has emotional issues to a certain extent.

I do think you are being very naive about the whole thing. Yes the system could definitely be better but he wasn't in "the system" the first time he ws sentenced to jail yet he still did whatever the first thing was.

You say you're seeing the bigger picture then say all the things you don't know and that you don't believe matter. I'm sorry but that is worryingly naive. You can still help him and be there for him but there's some level on which you have to grasp the complexities of the situation or your efforts will be for nothing. It's good that you're getting advice here and hopefully it will all help to make your goodwill effective.

Its a difficult situation and there certainly is a lack of provision for prison leavers.

1. He will be assigned to a Probation officer (who no doubt will be either inexperienced or have a massive caseload or both). This maybe someone new to him or someone he has worked with before. He does not get to choose who he works with, and is not allowed to say he won't work with a Probation officer because he has taken a dislike to them.
2. He will have a Probation appointment to attend on release, often the same day or the next day, if he misses this he is likely to be recalled and straight back in for 7/14/28 days. If he misses any of the subsequent appointments the same may happen. (Being abusive to a Probation officer is also likely to trigger recall).
3. Many people in his situation are addicted to drink or drugs or both. They should be released with a link up to their local addiction service, but this may not happen. In my own area the addiction service was well funded under the coalition government (substance abuse treatment being a LibDem priority) and appeared to be offering a good service, but has gone down since, especially during and since the pandemic. Without addiction support and benefits in place they are likely to quickly return to stealing and if they go back before the court and Probation are saying that they are not engaging with Probation they will go back into prison for another short sentence. Engaging with Probation is key here because if they are engaging Probation should ask the court for a community sentence so they can do more work to help the offender.
4. What services are there for the homeless where you/he live? The difficulty can be that offenders who have substance misuse issues, particularly alcohol, can become abusive to the staff/volunteers working with the homeless and this can mean that they are no longer able/willing to assist that person. It maybe worth finding the local provisions and reaching out to them to ask if they can work with your nephew.

Seconded. You are being extremely naive.

OP where are his parents?

He always seems so cheerful, I don't think he has emotional issues.

I think this is incredibly naive, sorry. What is at the root of all of this? I'm guessing his upbringing wasn't all sunshine and flowers.

The goverment only has 1 pot of cash and that is from taxes, borrowing money from the finance markets still has to be paid back with interest, we have had a pandemic, increased numbers/stress on the NHS etc etc , increased numbers on benefits, yes wasted spending by the government (viewed with hindsight) etc etc , immigration, HS2 (which was never a realistic goer), some privatisation (never unstood why you give it to someone to make a profit when you should be able to do it yourself at cost), so you either cut services, run them better or put taxes up, which do you prefer? just asking

I work in prisons and prisoners get more help than the average Joe on the outside.

But typical of prisoners, everything wrong in their lives will be someone else's fault.

Also he will very likely be on drugs if he's homeless and habitually stealing.

I would think long and hard about having him in your home, by the sounds of it he’s capable of extreme violence and is chaotic, he’s not going to stick to any ‘rules’ you give him and it will likely end with you kicking him out and damaging the relationship. You could give him support at arms length, let him know he can come to you for food so he doesn’t have to steal, help him look for jobs or education.

No, you are right. I don't know what life he has led in prison. I don't know who any of these people are he hangs out with inside or the homeless groups over the years. But, does it matter?

Of course it matters. You are contemplating bringing this man into your home, when the reality is it's clear you barely know him. It's very sad, but he is not the boy you knew when he was a child. He is an adult with a violent past, and most likely, very significant emotional/mental health issues. You must prioritise your own well being and safety. You will not be able to fix him, no matter what you do.

How old is he? I read something very interesting from Lord Timpson saying no point then employing men under 25, destined for failure until they’re a bit more mature. Hopefully if he’s approaching that age this may be the time it clicks. Look at Timpsons jobs though.

Your nephew is making choices. It's his choice to steal, hurt people and repeatedly go to prison. He is an adult with capacity (at least you haven't said otherwise). He knows exactly what he is doing and the consequences.
I only know about Scotland, but here, the Council has a duty to house him (won't be a flat but it will be a bed). He can apply for benefits and then start making attempts at getting his life back.
It will take effort on his part, it won't be handed to him on a plate.
It's not "the system's" responsibility to do it all for him.
I have a huge respect for people who try and turn their life around. They get rejected constantly and don't give up. There is not enough help out there. It's shocking. But that's not the picture you paint of your nephew.

I'm afraid that JobCentre is a misnomer. They used to help you find jobs but they are really just a gateway to Universal Credit these days.

Does he have other family support? Are there any other 'good' people who could help? Do you live somewhere away from the old crowd he used to hang out with so that he won't fall back in with them?

You keep saying you don't know the answers to fairly fundamental questions about his life. Why do you not know? EG re education, last trauma, mental health, the nature of his crimes. You don't know these things yet seem adamant there is no addiction issues - but are you sure this the case?

You want to invite him to sleep on your sofa - but are missing some pretty core information.

How close are you to him, or the rest of his immediate family? Why have you not asked him about his life, such that you'd know these things?

OP, I worry - you have a kind heart and want to help, but seen incredibly naïve about the reality and challenge of what you are proposing.

What do his parents or siblings think? Do you have a DP/DH and / or DC - what do they think?

It's been years, how long do I hold it against him?

It's not about holding it against him at all. More about having your eyes wide open here. It doesn't matter what the customer said to him. Nothing could provoke that reaction in a person who was stable. So there's a lot going on, as there would be in someone with a long pattern of recidivism, and it's important to not put all of this on 'the system'. You don't seem to know him all that well or on a level of understanding what his problems truly are beyond the surface. Whether he had issues since childhood, what kind of life he's led in prison or homeless groups, what his take is on his lifestyle and whether and how he wants to change. Of course this is only a MN post and lots you can't get into, and I'm absolutely not saying don't support him, but it feels like you're seeing the external issues and not the bigger picture, so just want to make sure you can do that.

I work in resettlement. The prison system is fucked. Some prisons are even giving out tents at the moment due to lack of housing.

Does he get a probation officer?

What's his education like - is he literate?

Where are his parents in all this?

Does he have any trauma you know of?

I would look into any benefits he's entitled to. Help him claim those while providing him a roof. Ask him to help with jobs around the house to give him a sense of purpose and to feel useful.

It's very sad but people do get stuck into the in and out of prison routine. And often it's because the underlying cause isn't dealt with. To stop him going back in he needs to deal with the reason for the behaviour that cause him to need to be sent to prison.

You're blaming "the system" and blaming the job centre for being "shit" but your violent criminal nephew is the root of the problem. He is the only person who is going to change this.

We need to - rapidly - build more prisons and give longer, more meaningful, sentences so turning back to crime is not the easy option.

Absolutely.

6 weeks of a Labour government are to blame 😂😂😂

Not 14 years of a Tory government who closed 7 prisons?!

Some people really do allow their partisan views to cloud any sense of reality and stunt their critical thinking 🙄