To hate travelling in the car with my DH and to refuse to travel with him anywhere again?

Absolutely this.
It's terrifying and disgusting.

I know someone who drives like this - it matches his personality. Seems nice enough at first but underneath is a narcissistic bully who has to be king of his castle. Bit like a nastier flavour of Ronnie Pickering, and his wife looked like she had been through that experience before.

You are putting yourself and your children in danger by driving with him, you are being irresponsible by allowing him to drive any of you.

Not letting the children use a bathroom is horrific. Cruel even.

There's honestly nothing worse than a full bladder on a long journey.

I literally have the same. My father was the same. I can’t stand it and on the whole refuse to get in a car with him unless it’s my car and I’m driving.

After my DH did 110 down the motorway in a battered old Saab with me and DS in it I have refused to ever get in a car with him again. YANBU.

Also men using aggressive driving as a weapon is a form of abuse that does not get spoken about enough

Did he drive like that in a second hand cheaper car like yours?

What didn’t he buy his own car?

Surely both cars are family cars. Tell him you are driving ‘his’ half the time.

Is there a male relative he would listen to? You shouldn’t have to think about that but often twatty male drivers are the twatty sort of men who will listen to men but not women. It’s all part of problem.

My sister complains of her husband in similar terms. Otherwise he's a mild mannered gent but something changes when he's behind the wheel.

Why did you ever get into a car with him again??

You seem to have saddled yourself and your children with an arsehole. You need to get rid of him.

It's illegal unless you are telling someone you are there e.g. someone is about to hit you.
Generally kids can hold on till next service station or whatever (and you don't want to be stopping on a verge etc). But I wouldn't ask to stop, I'd say 'stop at the next service station' - with rider, 'otherwise I'll wet my knickers and you can clean the seat, thanks'.
Have never had a DH act in this way (despite ex being a rubbish driver). This man sounds like a complete twerp.

You aren’t stopping him now.

That's abusive, my Dad used to do it.

Does he have to drive for work? What is it going to do to his and your lifestyle if he ends up losing his job because he gets banned?
However overwhelmingly the most important thing is, of course, the safety aspect. Unless he agrees to change (unlikely) how can you continue like this? I get your concern that, if you split, he would then be driving the DC without you; I don’t know much about them but I’ve heard of a prohibited steps order - could one be used to stop him driving the DC?
I’m also another person thinking that his bullying would not be confined to his driving style and you and the DC will be much happier in the long run without him.

I was married to one of these creatures. Honestly, I held off on divorce because the thought of him road tripping with the kids to Europe during ‘his’ holiday time with them absolutely terrified me. He ran over my mother’s foot once, nearly hit our child backing out the drive, despite sensors, and would tear off with the back passenger door open- kids were strapped in but too small to pull the door shut. They’re all big and grown now but he was a real asshole when they were little. I’d be running behind the car and shouting at him to stop (so that I could get into the passenger seat for our ‘family day out’- hell on wheels in every sense). Really twisted fucker. Tip of the iceberg is an understatement.

He won’t listen to you. Absolutely take over the driving! That’s where you start for now. How old are the kids, OP? It’s horribly stressful living with bullies.

@flowergirl24 is the car in your name??? you can certainly stop him driving your car. just take him off your insurance!!

Why do you need this awful man in your life? Why can’t he buy his own car?

Why did you buy him a car when you must've already known what his driving was like ?

My abusive ex refused to stop at services before because i needed the toilet. Drove right past them and laughed at me.

He was a dick. your husband is a dick. How can you stand by while he treats your children that way?

💯 this !Don't take risks with your darling children!

Next time OP, you drive. Tie him up, put a nappy on him (you wont be stopping if he needs to go) and stick him him the boot (joking of course😇)

Are you the registered keeper of the car, with your name on the documentation?
if it's over three years old you could always SORN it.... (make a statutory off-road notification) .
It would then be illegal to drive it. And sell it at your leisure seeing as you own another, albeit 'lesser' car.

Absolutely don't put up with this. My DH used to have the attitude of 'I'm driving and I'll do it how I like' until I threatened to open my passenger door if he didn't slow down. He knows me well enough to know I'd do it, so he changed his fucking attitude. I will not be treated like a hostage when someone is driving dangerously.

Yes but at the moment you are complicite, If he stil does it afterwards you can telll the kids that you dont think he's a good driver.
However, (and I don't think this is the case), My dad had the issue driving of really being anxious and not liking driving but was brought up to believe that women area driven by men, As I say I don't think this is the case here.

HRTFT. I put YABU because the first time he behaved like that, risking, not only yours, but your DC's lives you should have never got in a car with him again. LTB if you have to. I can't imagine it's the only area of your lives he's a prick in.