Inheritance and care home fees

That's what everyone wants. Doesn't mean the taxpayers should fund her care for you if you can do so yourself.

Bloody ridiculous argument. The services you suggest are already paid for from general taxation. Care in old age isn’t. Some would argue that it should be but it’s not. We’re all in the same boat and those who self fund subsidise those who don’t. Why should OP benefit from someone else’s funding pot if they have the means to pay themselves.

because they said this : Why do you expect the taxpayers of Essex (many of whom will be younger people with no hope of owning or inheriting a property) to pay out instead?

so i used a counter point to their statement

Nice attitude. Glad I’m not your child.

Think for a moment about people like the lady who used to live in the flat below us. No husband, no children. No one to help fund her. People like my friend are given a raw deal in life.

WTF has that got to do with care fees ?

by the same logic, why should the public taxes be used to cover the damages from the recent riots etc people still have to live, in some ways no different than a business person asking an account how to legally avoid taxes

If the £180k is what she will have left after her care costs are paid and she has capacity, then perhaps she will be willing to change her will in favour of you. However, she might also want to do something else.

If I were MiL I wouldn’t. It would be fairly clear to me that my son in law was more interested in lining his own pocket than ensuring that my money - meant for my daughter - was spent on the only thing that would benefit her in this situation, good quality care instead of abandoning her to the basics provided by the LA.

As above post. The only way his wife will benefit from this money is if it’s invested in better care than the basic she will receive funded by the LA. It’s her money, not his FFS. What the care home owners earn is irrelevant and whichever way you pitch this he doesn’t want to spend the money on his wife’s care.

Apologies if this has already been covered but the government has decided not to introduce the cap on care costs. The date it was going to be operationalised has been deferred by successive governments for about 10 years since it was proposed in the Dilnot report. The decision not to go ahead by the Labour government was fairly predictable.

I agree with the posters suggesting you need expert advice. Organisations like Age UK, the Relatives and Residents Association and Independent Age all provide advice on care costs.

It's not clear what your mother in law thinks about this. It's her money after all. If the £180k is what she will have left after her care costs are paid and she has capacity, then perhaps she will be willing to change her will in favour of you. However, she might also want to do something else.

In which case you need to take your wife home and fund a carer or look after her yourself.

Unless you plan in advance i.e. put the money in trust, it's spent on care.

Similar situation here with parent but it is what it is. I'm not thrilled with it but am certainly not going down the deprivation of assets route.

How does it make this better ? Even assuming there is £180,000 left, by rights it belongs to his wife. She is in care and the only way she can benefit from it is if it’s used to buy her better care. It’s actually inconceivable that someone who is supposed to love you could walk away from you when you are unable to advocate for yourself, and pocket this amount of money, leaving you to the most basic care you’re entitled to. It’s indefensible.

They can change the will all they want. Still doesn’t change the fact that MiL can’t leave £180,000 to either OP or his wife. All she can bequeath is whatever is left after her own care fees are paid.

But unless the money is in a trust fund or otherwise protected it will all be used to fund care for however long MiL lives. And at the rate of an average £1800 a month in care fees, it won’t be long before it’s eaten up. I feel really sorry for OP’s situation but it doesn’t absolve him of the responsibility to fund his wife’s care instead of leaving it to the tax payer. It smacks of him wanting to walk away with money in his pocket instead of ensuring his wife gets the best possible care with what is actually her inheritance, not his. That just leaves a bad taste in the mouth.

Through changing the will !!! Not by giving assets away while the MIL is alive.

They were also very clear in asking if there was any way they could avoid the inheritance going towards care fees We don't want this money going to Essex CC. Is there anything we can do ?. And unless the money is already protected in a trust fund there is no way to prevent it being used for care fees. Whatever is left of MiL’s estate, if not protected, will depend on how long she lives. Unless OP cares to update us ?

Yes I wonder what OP is planning to do with this money… that’s not his and he is not entitled to.

You have no children to think of and your wife isn't able to take advantage of her inheritance so this is about you wanting to enjoy money you have done nothing to earn rather than pay your way towards your wife's huge costs? Umm

I agree with Sinderalla, my mother had Alzheimer’s. My sister and I looked after her as long as we could, but they came a time when her needs were greater than we could manage so she went into a care home! Because her and my father worked hard all of their life, bought a house, and on many occasions did without and saved the little bit they could! My mother had to pay for every bit of her care. The majority of people in the care home got it for free! If you look at the cost of what self funding people pay! To what the council pay the care homes, there is a big difference, so self funding people subsidies the free ones!

Why ? There’s no way of knowing whether OP’s wife would qualify for NHS ongoing care. Virtually no-one does.