Inheritance and care home fees

1. If your MiL still has capacity she can change her will when we she wishes in whatever way she wishes.
2. If the will tendons unchanged, but your wife has capacity when your MiL dies then she can request a deed of variation so that her mother’s inheritance bypasses her completely and goes straight to her beneficiaries.

@NewspaperTaxis you're heading down a rabbit hole of conspiracy there.
In the St Helier case the family have every right to be furious as they have been lied to and allegedly documents were falsified. That's completely unacceptable. It does not been that a a DNAR wasn't the right choice given the age of the woman involved. It may well be, obviously I don't know. Performing CPR on someone in their late 90s would be horrific.
Different levels of intervention is appropriate for different people depending on their age, diagnosis, level of frailty etc. Doctors should be doing what is appropriate, not trying to keep everyone alive under any circumstance.
Posts like yours only serve to scare people and make them much less likely to want to discuss advanced care planning. Not helpful at all.

I get what you are saying but it's not your money it's your MIL and her daughters.

I would understand if you had kids and needed the financial stability as your wife is unable to provide. But not sure why you should be entitled to any? You could use it and get your wife an even better care home for example...

My estate planner says to put inherited money into a trust so that the potential care home can’t touch it as they will otherwise want the house sold and the equity used to pay for care fees for my aged dm.

If the money goes into a vulnerable persons trust it has to apply to her benefit as determined by 2 trustees ( who can be h ( but not necessarily) and anyone else mum chooses) Only after death would h get it but the trust might say it then goes to a distant cousin

I agree. This is the bit that makes me uneasy. If it was to go direct to their children /her sister or similar people might have reacted differently

I think you're seeing something that's not there.

Suggestion of will being changed so he got the dosh was just a suggestion for how it could be kept out of the assessment for his wife's care funded by the Council.

The only reason the OP is getting any sympathy is because he's trying to dodge care home fees.

What he's really doing is getting his wife disinherited so he can do as he pleases with the money, we have no idea if it will be for the wife's benefit. It's not right and if people weren't caught up in the care home angle there would be a very different response.

No - you don't get your wife's inheritance. It's hers.

If your mil still has capacity, she can change her will to whatever is best. I'd get some proper legal advice in your shoes.

No, and no.
I am currently clearing the property with a view to renting it out. That will generate an income for him, but a year's rent round here will only be worth about six weeks nursing home fees. Better than nothing though, and it means the property won't be sitting empty.

Posters site really needs to have a word with themselves about what they say to people looking for help navigating the maze that is the UK benefit system.

A relative of mine tries to follow 3 points as below:

1. Is it true
2. Is it necessary
3. Is it kind.

If a comment doesn't satisfy all three then maybe you should button it or pull back from the keyboard.

I’m so sorry OP for the disgusting posts on here by the keyboard warriors, they are truly despicable.
Unfortunately these faceless critics seem to find pleasure in sinking to the depths.
Thank you for that insight into your life, I can only wish both you and your wife the very best of each day.

Do NOT use "Karen" as an insult! It is sexist and ageist and quite unnecessary.

If you disagree with someone, say why you disagree with them. There is zero need for personal attacks.

It must have been a nice distraction from your tedious job of looking after your wife.🙄

Wow this guy is only asking ( hypothetical question) nothing else, none of your business to report this, shame on you,

I know all that, I've heard that argument many times, it gets wheeled out on hospital visits. Few families would disagree with that - that's why it gets wheeled out. It's a sales gambit. Why would the news story I link to be a news story if that were the case - why would the family be so up in arms about having a mother be made DNR or DNAR if it only got enacted if they had a massive stroke or heart attack?

It's one of those read-between-the-lines stories.

My argument is, once they're made DNR they can be killed off. As with Gosport War Memorial Hospital, killed off via opiates, subject to blanket front page headlines a few years ago, yet nobody you'll notice has ever been convicted. That was the test case - a heads up to hospitals that they can get away with it.

There is a point where the NHS decides - rightly or wrongly but mainly secretly - that a frail and elderly person is not worth treating so they may as well be hurried along. They're going to die anyway, so what's the point? They won't be cured or get better. They salve their conscience by saying that a person is 'dying' anyway, the process may be taking place over a year or so but it makes no real difference, they can get 'taken out' by a fall or a dose of flu or a UTI so what why not opt for an injection of fatal drugs instead?

Of course, it your relative's death also saves the NHS, local council and Govt money and there's the rub. When they decide your relative is for the chop may not coincide with the family's feelings or indeed the reality of the situation - but so long as the family don't know, well, the Council and NHS take the view it's better to beg for forgiveness than ask permission, largely because they're wholly unaccountable once the deed is done anyway.

All this, to get back to the OP's post, is why a loving husband may prefer to have the money in his account rather than just handing it over to the Council whose only 'best interest' is the bottom line. The money gives him leverage - assuming it's not a Tales of the Unexpected set-up where he splashes out on a sports car and heads off to the south of France with a new squeeze.

Do you live in your father's property?
Are you over 60?
If so the property should be disregarded for care home fees.
https://www.ageuk.org.uk/information-advice/care/paying-for-care/paying-for-a-care-home/do-i-have-to-sell-my-home-to-pay-for-care/#home

‘When my MIL dies (she's 94) my wife will inherit about £180,000.

We don't want this money going to Essex CC.

Is there anything we can?’

The post is not about a fraud to stop mother in law paying for her own care. It relates to the format in which MIl leaves her money in her will.

As things stand they money has not gone to DD and there is no legal compulsion to make it vest in DD. As she has not received it it will not be a deprivation of assets.

The most advantageous way to deal with tjis is via a perfectly legitimate vulnerable persons trust created by HMRC / the Lord Chancellor to deal with this scenario to encourage people to provide a bit extra for their disabled loved ones without it getting swallowed in care fees

Don’t take this out on OP he is legally allowed to arrange for this to happen. Get more upset about offshore family trusts where millions are transferred and never see the taxman not £180,000!

Labour abolished the (proposed for 2025) cap so don't bother looking. I think it was announced at the same time as removing winter fuel allowance for pensioners.

If your wife's needs are medical, not social, NHS continuing care should apply, although it is, by all accounts, tortuous and difficult to get.

You'll find there's a lot of hate on here for the elderly and those needing care. There's a lot of jealousy and it's a race to the bottom.

DNAR's absolutely have their place for older people. Performing CPR on a frail elderly person is just brutal and likely to be futile. If there isn't a DNAR in place then the staff have no choice but to start CPR. I've known a couple of district nurses who've had to do CPR on patients who absolutely were not suitable for resuscitation but whose families had refused to allow a DNAR notice to be made for home. The patients died anyway, but in their final moments had their chests battered.
In hospital families should most definitely be part of the discussion but ultimately it's the doctors who decide if a DNAR is needed and with good reason.

Well then, use your own money . The best life YOU can , by using someone else’s money is hardly anything to be proud of .

@MistyMountainTop the OP would not lose his home to pay for care, as a home that is occupied by a spouse etc is disregarded in a financial assessment until they no longer need it. So stop with the hyperbole.