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Original poster

Shouted at my sick child

58 replies

Newmama93 · 17/08/2024 11:13

I’m solo tonight as husband is away, toddler got a temp this morning (3.5 yrs) and has wanted me allll day, I have a teething 8 month old so someone’s been upset all day on and off. My toddler got really sick as the day went on and as I put my baby down he started screaming, his throat was obviously sore and he was very hot and felt like crap but he wouldnt stop, on the 4th wake of the baby I just absolutely lost it, I don’t recognise myself, I have been crying for 30 minutes apologising to him. I’m mainly so upset I’ve shouted when all his done is cry from his pain. I shouted that the police were coming to get him and very loudly said JUST STOP IT as I banged my hands on the couch, I don’t know why police came to my head it’s because I so so desperately needed him to stop in that moment or my baby would be fully back awake and I wouldn’t be able to help him so I was just Grasping at straws, trying anything I could to get it to stop. I imeediately told him that weren’t coming (he didn’t even register o said that) but I’m so horrified I screamed at him when he’s just genuinely sick, the pressure and both kids screams just overwhelmed me. I’ve never ever lost it like this at him I feel like I may have issues to get so so angry for just shouting.

looking for a slap in the face? Therapy recommendations or some reassurance I’m not totally alone?

OP posts:
Vickyspeaking654 · 17/08/2024 11:26

You are not totally alone! Give yourself a break op. Shouting isn’t ideal particularly when your toddler is ill, but you know that and have apologised.

You are in the parenting trenches atm, on reduced sleep, with your dh away.

We’ve all been through times when we’ve shouted or been irritated by our dc. Especially during the baby and toddler years. The demands can be overwhelming.

How long is your dh away for? Is he away a lot? Do you have any family or friends you can call over to give you a bit more support?

Use this incident as a learning moment. If it all gets too much again, you can just walk out of the room and breathe for a few minutes.

And next time your dh is away maybe arrange to have a trusted baby-sitter come over during the day so you get a couple of hours break?

Do you ever get to go away and leave the two dc with your dh? If not, I would highly recommend it. Book in to your local Premier Inn. Not only do you get a full night’s sleep but also your dh gets to experience what it is like looking after the two of them alone overnight.

BettyBardMacDonald · 17/08/2024 11:26

Why is your husband not there???

Original poster
Newmama93 · 17/08/2024 11:24

otravezempezamos · 17/08/2024 11:23

I shouted that the police were coming to get him and very loudly said JUST STOP IT as I banged my hands on the couch

Christ that is horrible. Poor, poor child. How is he meant to learn to trust the police as people who can help him (or you for that!)

The fact you feel terrible is lesson enough. There is no way you will lose control like that again. Consider some parenting classes if you feel you can’t cope, or just count to 20 and walk out the room.

I know, I don’t know why at all I would say that I just so desperately was trying to get him to just be quiet for a minute so my baby would go back to sleep and I could be there with him. I got it so so wrong and if I could give all the money in my bank to take it back I would

OP posts:
otravezempezamos · 17/08/2024 11:23

I shouted that the police were coming to get him and very loudly said JUST STOP IT as I banged my hands on the couch

Christ that is horrible. Poor, poor child. How is he meant to learn to trust the police as people who can help him (or you for that!)

The fact you feel terrible is lesson enough. There is no way you will lose control like that again. Consider some parenting classes if you feel you can’t cope, or just count to 20 and walk out the room.

MotherofChaosandDestruction · 17/08/2024 11:22

Oh OP we've all been there and done and said things we regret when we are sleeping deprived and overwhelmed. Do you have someone who could come over and support you?

Original poster
Newmama93 · 17/08/2024 11:21

I’ve given him medicine. Fuck it’s hard when the baby needs me to hold him but toddler is sick and needs me too. I just got overwhelmed with not being able to be there for anyone and screamed. He was trying to hard to be quiet in the end. This guilt is making me stomach turn.

thank you

OP posts:
TangerinePlate · 17/08/2024 11:20

Don’t beat yourself. You’re on your knees with sleep deprivation.

It’s natural for kids to want their mummy when they are not well. Snuggle on the sofa/bed with plenty of drinks. Hope you have calpol/nurofen for kids.

💐

NewDogOwner · 17/08/2024 11:19

You fucked up. You are a human. Apologise to him and explain that you were wrong. Love him extra hard.