Shouted at my sick child

Darling, please. You feel awful about it and your apologised straight away. I can promise you that 99% of fathers would NEVER be able to cope with the kind of crap us mothers have to do on a daily basis, even for a couple of hours. They would break. They would go mad. It's hard.

I don't give a shit if people think this is sexist.

You shouted and banged a cushion. Don't give it a second thought! Mothers are allowed to have imperfect emotional reactions to hard things.

Controversial, but I think parents (mums) are made to feel too guilty for being normal humans.
This isn't the last time you'll get frustrated and regret it, just apologise, cuddle and fingers crossed everyone recovers soon!

It was awful I think that was the day it broke me up till then I always tried as I wanted her to love me and that moment made me realise she wasn’t going to. I have adult children now and a couple of times if one has had a d and v bug at age 16/17/18 I used to think about myself at 14 being that unwell and seeing how vulnerable they still were at an older age ? It really made me tearful when I was helping them and how desperate I felt for myself back then. I hope OP knows she isn’t a bad parent it was a momentary lapse not anything just a tired stressed out person

What a wicked woman to do and say that! I'm fuming for you!

You shouted out of exhaustion and frustration and you feel bad, that says to me you aren’t a bad person so please don’t stress yourself when you’re already under so much pressure. At that age too it will be easily forgotten

Unlike my DM who was severely abusive and when I was very very ill aged 14 screamed in my face it was the poison coming out (the ‘poison’ being my autism) and that if I woke her again she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions. I spent all night on the bathroom floor shaking and being sick, that wasn’t a one off and came from a place of evil not a stressed out tired caring mother.

We've all been there. When my eldest two were 3 and 9 months, I was on my own during a syressful period and smacked the 3 year old. I had never done it before, never did it again. You'll recover from this and your kids will be fine x

Oh get a grip 🤣🤣🤣

Oh bless you. Parenting two small children is hard enough, but when one is ill it's absolutely exhausting.
Don't beat yourself up over this. I recall snapping a few times when my children were little - they are now 16, 19 and 22 and have no recollection of any of it.
Take care of yourself

Anyone who says they haven't been frustrated and frazzled in situations like you describe, that just tip you over the edge, are either lying or need to teach lessons in how to be perfect all of the time!

We've all had moments where something just snaps and you shout, then feel massively guilty for it whenever you think about it. It still happens sometimes with my teens. You're not alone so don't keep beating yourself with a stick about it.

Oh come on you never lost your temper? This woman is beating herself up and clearly just snapped. She doesn’t need parenting classes. (Although we ALL should take them!) She needs a break. She needs to reset. She needs to know that every parent has shouted at their kids. Some do it alll the time. Some don’t. It’s all normal but clearly she doesn’t want to be a parent who shouts at her kids so don’t make her feel worse. No need.

Op, it’s horrid when this happens but it does happen. Just as all the other shit happens - like spending too much time on your phone, having kids who scream in public, excessive screen time, feeding them processed food. All the things you think you’ll never do as a parent before you actually have kids.

youve snapped at your kid. You’ll snap again. You’ll hate their choice boyfriend or girlfriend and make it obvious instead of playing it cool. You’ll freak out at them smoking weed when you swore you would be cool - and that your kid would be too smart to even try weed in the first place.

it’s always going to be a struggle. You’re always going to feel shit about yourself. You care though don’t you? So keep doing what good parents do and keep trying to do better.

and yeah there are lots of good parenting resources to learn from. But don’t think that’ll mean you won’t fuck up. Because you will. We all do.

Your not the first and your not the last to shout at your child.

And guess what I'm sure there will come a day again, in the not too distant future or when they are a testing teenager that you will shout again.

This does not make you a bad person or a bad parent.

The comment about parenting classes, ignore.

Poor you, sounds awful. One idea might be to put some sleep music on for the baby, there are lots on youtube, and put it on quite loud, it will drown out your toddlers noise and hopefully get the baby to sleep. I work in nurseries and they do this to help some kids get to sleep when others are still awake and banging about.

I’m sure there is something else going on / and I’m really not sure it merits a therapist ! She’s been literally left holding the baby - and a child who is unwell - and is missing out on the wedding.

Why do people make everything more psychologically mysterious than it needs to be? It’s normal to have emotions and find things hard occasionally.

Partner is away at a festival. I have just 1 toddler. Naturally, so sooner was he gone, she got sent home for nursery with "loose nappies". I'm 2 days into solo D&V management, mercifully she isn't screaming too much, and I keep thinking "how the heck do single parents manage?!"

It's hard. You'll have better days!

I agree with this... if a man behaved like this op would be told to leave ltb.

Op you need to seriously get some other support on board your husband was only away for one night. You shouldn't be so close to blowing your fuse, they were sick and nit even being naughty. You should really reflect on why this happened so quickly.

What a stupid reply - you don’t need parenting classes. And you haven’t changed the way your kid thinks about the state and policing forever!

it wasn’t the best reaction but you already know that - so just think of a couple of coping strategies that will work for you in future. And show extra love to them

Of course you had a moment. You are trying to care for two poorly children and being pulled in all directions. Snuggle you on the sofa with your toddler when the baby goes down for a nap.

You don't need parenting classes, you need sleep. Your kids are lucky they have a mum who loves them so much. Your feeling guilty means you care.

You now have a chance to show your oldest child that making mistakes is part of being human and that is why we say sorry.

I think takeaway/ telly on the best plan.

It isn’t productive to beat yourself up anymore over this. You were in a highly stressful situation and you reacted - most people will have had a moment like this in their lives. The main thing is you realised immediately it wasn’t right and said sorry. It’s unlikely you’ll react like that again as you’ll remember how bad it made you feel. Forget about it now and move on.

I think most of us have been there at one point or another op. Parenting is bloody hard work 🤷‍♀️

Make life as easy as possible for yourself, back to back kids Tv, snacks and make sure your 3yo is well dosed up on meds.

Looking after sick kids is really really hard.

@otravezempezamos No worries, you have a point!

Your just on your knees with exhaustion. Don't cry, he'll only have heard the shouting and not the words and any further upset from you will just be upsetting to him. I shouted in my 3 year olds face when he and his brother were sick and I had a newborn, and felt like shit after the birth- I was just on the edge of my reason with the situation and have done nothing like it before or since.

Move on. Easy day - get a takeaway, watch movies, forget the rest of house just clean the room you are in. Definitely survival mode today.

Non stop whinging and crying kids are really hard work, they should be used as a torture method becuase it does make you lose your mind.

Give yourself a break, they won't remember this or need therapy when they're older for a grumpy outburst you've had when pulled to your limits.

Have a big duvet day with some hugs with both of them. 💓 ignore PPs trying to lay on more Mum guilt, we carry too much as it is.