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Original poster

Police referred us to social services because I reported my neighbour for harassment

84 replies

Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 09:57

I've been having problems with a neighbour who likes to bang on the walls/ceiling when my children are playing. He has also been at my door multiple times, the most recent time he was loud and swearing at me. I reported it to the police with the hope of obtaining a harassment warning. I have an earlier post about it.

So the police came and I provided a statement, I'm just waiting to hear back on their next steps.

Yesterday morning I received an out of the blue call from social services. They'd received the info from the police and were calling as a formality. It put the fear of God into me.

There were no safeguarding concerns raised about me/my parenting, our home etc. They have no plans to come out and get involved - so it was completely pointless and unnecessary, but a formality apparently.

I have a lot of trauma from my experiences with the police and social services from when I was young, there's far too much to go into, so it took a lot of courage for me to reach out and report this neighbour in the first place.

One example of many - I once called the police as I'd been assaulted and locked in the house (domestic abuse) but because the abuser lied and told them I'd assaulted him - I got arrested, even though he had a long history of doing the same things.

I have now reverted back to not wanting to deal with the police at all and likely won't ask for help again in the future which isn't ideal as I may well need them at some point.

AIBU to think they shouldn't have done that?

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 17/08/2024 10:12

They have to OP because the reality is that if you are involving the police due to a violent neighbour then there is absolutely a potential risk to your children by living there, they have to report that. Social services may not be able to act on it, but the police have to make the report.

Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 10:09

Thank you for the reality check. I agree it's the history that's colouring my view.

I think if I'd been told in advance I'd likely have dealt with it better but it was so out of the blue and I've been worrying ever since.

OP posts:
Serencwtch · 17/08/2024 10:09

They haven't 'reported you to SS' they've done a safeguarding referral because children were present when the offences happened. That's something they have to do & have done their jobs correctly.
They are not blaming you or accusing you of anything.

saraclara · 17/08/2024 10:07

This isn't about you being a risk to your children, this is about the risk the neighbour may pose to you and your children, especially if they have a problem with normal kid noise

That. Your history is making you react irrationally. The referral is too protect your children from the neighbour's actions! It's no judgment on you.

Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 10:07

They're not actually going to provide any support. They are closing the referral and said its not something they can help with anyway, so it really was a waste of time.

The only thing that has come out of it is me now feeling distrustful and even more reluctant to report anything again in the future 😕

OP posts:
DebateWithMoi · 17/08/2024 10:06

ButtSurgery · 17/08/2024 10:01

Any time something criminal happens where children are present (even just in the home at the time of the door banging for example) requires police to submit a form to SS.

In this situation, SS may be of assistance to you in demonstrating the issues with the neighbour.

This isn't about you being a risk to your children, this is about the risk the neighbour may pose to you and your children, especially if they have a problem with normal kid noise.

I understand it's worrying, but please don't panic.

Yep 100% this. People think police have discretion over this- they don't. A report requires it usually as policy and SS are there to help you. I do understand that there's a perception that when someone is referred to SS it must be about a concern for their parenting- this isn't the case OP don't worry! If you are really confused about why they referred you go on your local force website and follow the disclosure request route. The public disclosure department will consider disvlosibn the crime report to you and you can read what is written on there and why the referral was made. Mostly don't panic, the police could know something about your neighbour that you don't and there could be a very good reason for them to refer you.

bluesheetsq · 17/08/2024 10:05

What do you want us to say?

That policy is there to protect children from harm. It's an important policy and the police were correct to refer it in.

comedycentral · 17/08/2024 10:03

The police were doing their job. There is potentially a risky person living next door to you, harassing you because of your children, it's a potential risk to your children. It's up to SS to assess and provide support where necessary.

ButtSurgery · 17/08/2024 10:01

Any time something criminal happens where children are present (even just in the home at the time of the door banging for example) requires police to submit a form to SS.

In this situation, SS may be of assistance to you in demonstrating the issues with the neighbour.

This isn't about you being a risk to your children, this is about the risk the neighbour may pose to you and your children, especially if they have a problem with normal kid noise.

I understand it's worrying, but please don't panic.

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