Police referred us to social services because I reported my neighbour for harassment

We had a problem with a neighbour a few months ago - we had to call 999 twice. Each time the police came and they didn’t even speak to us they just went next door ? They literally refused to engage with us even though we had made the report (I even had video evidence I wanted to show them of an assault in the garden they didn’t want to talk to us) and our dc were not referred to SS. The woman and kids next door were moved out the day of the second call the house was empty for a while then new neighbours moved in so just have been more to it

This comment is drowning in hypocrisy.

If you rent socially or are a leaseholder you need to contact the landlord/freeholder and put in a complaint about your neighbour's antisocial behaviour as he is harassing your children.

SS being called out means there is nothing wrong with your parenting, which if your children are in childcare and/or school will be further backed up by them.

I also hate SS and the police particularly due to some of the terrible stereotyping SS themselves have done which I had to raise hell about. So your initial reactions are normal. People who haven't had to deal with shitstorms caused by such bodies biases and prejudices don't understand.

Chances are this may actually work in your favour.

You can explain what the neighbour is like and how it’s so bad that you had to call the police.

Hopefully the kids will play as normal and the neighbour will get annoyed to show SS what they’re like.
(Although they may see you have a visitor and not do anything).

If you want to move in the future, then SS can speak to the council about rehousing you.
Or help you put in complaints about him.

I’m sorry you had such an awful experience of SS and the police but things have changed and you are not at fault here.

There may simply be a lack of insulation in the OP building so she can do nothing about it.

Please don't give up. Keep documenting everything. Can you afford to consult a solicitor? Perhaps a warning letter from a solicitor would make him back off?

It is a good thing that both police and social services have this situation in their records, so that if the neighbour continues his abusive bullying, or escalates his behaviour, it will be easier for action to be taken against him.

Don't give up. Your children have a right to live a normal life with normal daily noise levels.

Do you rent? Private or housing association? If it is housing association, complain to them in writing about your neighbour.

Has anyone else got advice? Should the OP contact someone at the council?

As an aside, maybe this could be a trigger for you seeking therapy to deal with your past trauma?

Because mistrusting children's services and police is quite a harmful stance to take when it comes to keeping children safe.

Nobody was judging you personally. There was no liklihood anything more happening than you bring offered help (which you can choose to decline), if anything was needed at all.

For example, with childrens services supporting you (if you consented) they could help you with the local housing association to be moved. If you don't like your neighbour, that could be a very positive thing for you. No need to be afraid of the support they offer.

It wasn't a waste of time, they established that there is minimal risk to your children and that right now they can't provide further support. That is useful information for all involved. Before that call, they had no idea of knowing if you did need thier support. So the call was needed.

Do not let you past experiences make you make poor choices now.

It's not an either/or. The investigation of the neighbour will go ahead. The safeguarding check is an additional thing, not an 'instead of'.

The police did their job, they wanted to make sure your children are safe, they are and you don't need to worry. Perhaps therapy is the way forward.

Victim blaming at its finest here

When my disabled ds was the victim of a sustained campaign of harassment due to his disability the police (who for once we're brilliant) had to make a safeguarding report to ss because of his age and vulnerability through his disability. It's supposed to ensure that he and I have any support we need to help him coap with the crt process and to help prevent his further victimisation, however as normal ss were about as useful as a chocolate fireguard. It's not personal @Blackandwhite191919 it's the system, which if ss was suitably staffed and funded would be really helpful instead all they do is phone you and if you're really luck send you some leaflets

Imagine your neighbour did something terrible and the police had done nothing to safeguard the children.

It’s standard OP. Going forward, ensure your children play quietly to avoid confrontation in case the harassment escalates.

It is not about you but children, let then do their job and make it about them

I agree with this but also voted YANU because your past experiences sound awful, and I’m really sorry you went through that.

YANBU in the circumstances to find it alarming, but social services could be a real help dealing with the neighbour, as it’s affecting your kids. Good idea to report the neighbour, please don’t stop going to the authorities where needed.

The point is surely that it’s the neighbour who needs investigation - not the OP!

But not investigating situations is how abused children fall through the cracks.
Your neighbour could be posing a risk to your children and others which is why they need to investigate. Just as they close the case in this instance doesn’t mean it was a waste of time. Next time, with someone else’s neighbour, something could be found.

They have to. You’ve just reported a neighbour for harassment. That is a safeguarding concern.

This is your own history that is causing you issues, not what has just happened now. They made a standard call, closed the case, don't want to come out or think your children are in any danger. Any of us would be fine with this. Your history is making you think otherwise.

This, OP. That they’re not coming out means they have no concerns with you, the are concerned as to how your children may impacted by the neighbour’s behaviour. Had a lot of interaction with SS over a 4 year period and was very anxious at the start, but they are there to offer support. I would reach out if the neighbour continues to kick off if you feel it is putting the kids on edge as they may be able to get other agencies involved with your neighbour.

They're not actually going to provide any support. They are closing the referral and said its not something they can help with anyway, so it really was a waste of time.
It was not a waste of time, Police & SS have determined the level of harassment that you are getting. It could have been much worse if it does get worse then this incident is logged and on file with his name. Appropriate steps will then be taken.
We hope.

I completely agree it’s a pointless waste of time. Sorry it upset you @Blackandwhite191919

Please don't take this attitude.

It's similar to when you have to take a small child to A&E. My health visitor turned up the next day as our visit had been reported to her, even though the minor accident was entirely unpreventable and witnessed as such. We had a friendly chat, she rolled her eyes a bit at the referral, but said it was standard, and then closed the case.

It didn't stop me taking my kids to A&E or the GP nurse with injuries in the future. That would just be stupid.