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Original poster

Police referred us to social services because I reported my neighbour for harassment

84 replies

Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 09:57

I've been having problems with a neighbour who likes to bang on the walls/ceiling when my children are playing. He has also been at my door multiple times, the most recent time he was loud and swearing at me. I reported it to the police with the hope of obtaining a harassment warning. I have an earlier post about it.

So the police came and I provided a statement, I'm just waiting to hear back on their next steps.

Yesterday morning I received an out of the blue call from social services. They'd received the info from the police and were calling as a formality. It put the fear of God into me.

There were no safeguarding concerns raised about me/my parenting, our home etc. They have no plans to come out and get involved - so it was completely pointless and unnecessary, but a formality apparently.

I have a lot of trauma from my experiences with the police and social services from when I was young, there's far too much to go into, so it took a lot of courage for me to reach out and report this neighbour in the first place.

One example of many - I once called the police as I'd been assaulted and locked in the house (domestic abuse) but because the abuser lied and told them I'd assaulted him - I got arrested, even though he had a long history of doing the same things.

I have now reverted back to not wanting to deal with the police at all and likely won't ask for help again in the future which isn't ideal as I may well need them at some point.

AIBU to think they shouldn't have done that?

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 18/08/2024 19:19

CantFindMyMarbles · 18/08/2024 19:03

There obviously safeguarding elements raised. Whether it’s well-being, welfare, abuse or neglect….something was raised. Social services receive a lot of referrals and many are not followed up because they are triaged and deemed not meeting the threshold for intervention.
something was said or observed that warranted the referral.

Yes, it turns out the neighbour is a drug dealer. His flat was raided yesterday evening and he hasn't been seen since. I surmise that he's in the cells and being kept in to be put before a magistrate on Monday morning. I hope they lock him up and throw away the key.

In light of that I do understand why a safeguarding concern would be raised. They were privy to information about him that I wasn't.

There was no concerns raised about me or my children personally, the social worker on the telephone made that very clear.

OP posts:
CantFindMyMarbles · 18/08/2024 19:05

PMAmostofthetime · 17/08/2024 20:43

It's safeguarding protocol any police call out or report where children are involved, present or to an address where they live, generates a referral. Continuous reports would see social services support with home safe Katy measures or a referral to someone who can provide those for you.

It's part of the new safeguarding regulations brought out to protect all under 18's in 2020.

As you have done nothing wrong I wouldn't worry about a call from social services. I

Show quote history

Factually inaccurate. It’s only when the call or information meets a specific threshold….just because children were there doesn’t warrant a referral. The thresholds of needs is quite clear.

CantFindMyMarbles · 18/08/2024 19:03

There obviously safeguarding elements raised. Whether it’s well-being, welfare, abuse or neglect….something was raised. Social services receive a lot of referrals and many are not followed up because they are triaged and deemed not meeting the threshold for intervention.
something was said or observed that warranted the referral.

Bellsandthistle · 17/08/2024 20:56

Police should have explained the process to you. Yes, it’s part of procedures but it’s still going to be incredibly stressful to receive a call from social services especially when you have the history you do.You were never going to get much sympathy on here as posters frequently recommend contacting social services all the time on friends and family (see thread on friend whose 3 year old has too much screen time 🙄).

PMAmostofthetime · 17/08/2024 20:43

Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 10:07

They're not actually going to provide any support. They are closing the referral and said its not something they can help with anyway, so it really was a waste of time.

The only thing that has come out of it is me now feeling distrustful and even more reluctant to report anything again in the future 😕

It's safeguarding protocol any police call out or report where children are involved, present or to an address where they live, generates a referral. Continuous reports would see social services support with home safe Katy measures or a referral to someone who can provide those for you.

It's part of the new safeguarding regulations brought out to protect all under 18's in 2020.

As you have done nothing wrong I wouldn't worry about a call from social services. I

purpleme12 · 17/08/2024 20:25

No
Police told me it's very very difficult to get something done with neighbour problems.
We tried. It went to court. But on the little evidence we got (2 incidents in a couple of days) it wasn't enough for the court to deem it harassment. All about the legal definition of harassment and the fact that the court could only take into account those 2 incidents and apparently weren't allowed to look at the bigger picture and everything else they did.
But in the end they moved out! Because they hated us (even though we weren't doing anything wrong) and we were the only ones who had managed to get evidence on them and kept going to police about them and they didn't like that.

Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 20:13

purpleme12 · 17/08/2024 20:08

@Blackandwhite191919 I had a neighbour harassing me. The police told me that as a matter of routine they always tell children's services when they have to come out and there's children involved. I never got a call from it mind. But mine wasn't a drug dealer either so that wasn't why.

Ah understood. It's not something I've had to deal with before I moved here so I wasn't aware it was protocol until after I made the thread. I'm glad I posted and take comfort in the fact it's not just me.

What happened with your neighbour btw, was he prosecuted?

OP posts:
purpleme12 · 17/08/2024 20:08

@Blackandwhite191919 I had a neighbour harassing me. The police told me that as a matter of routine they always tell children's services when they have to come out and there's children involved. I never got a call from it mind. But mine wasn't a drug dealer either so that wasn't why.

NoLongerNHS · 17/08/2024 20:07

Yes, sorry it upset you - I think anyone would be thrown, and sounds like you had a trauma response. Glad you are feeling better about it now.

Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 20:04

I do agree, it's just not a nice feeling receiving a call like that with no prior warning especially when you've had bad experiences with services in the past.

In light of what I now know I'm perfectly OK with it.

OP posts:
NoLongerNHS · 17/08/2024 19:52

Every time there is a problem with someone with MH issues harming someone, or a horrible child death, people look at who did not do their jobs, and SS, police and MH staff are blamed. You cant have vigilance and not interview people - the vase majority of those interviews will be just like this, no action taken. Better a few people with ruffled feathers than a preventable death.

Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 19:27

HelloMiss · 17/08/2024 19:26

Yabu

Is he police did nothing wrong

Read my update. I know that now. They had information that I didn't have, which justifies the report.

OP posts:
HelloMiss · 17/08/2024 19:26

Yabu

Is he police did nothing wrong

Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 19:14

Cabincrew1 · 17/08/2024 19:11

Be careful you might get the blame for the tip off.

That's what I'm worried about to be honest.

The officer I spoke to said he could see the Intel (my report) on the system but wasn't here for that as they're from a different Borough.

I really hope he isn't questioned about my report when he gets taken down the station for this as that's the first thing he's going to think isn't it! 😕

OP posts:
Cabincrew1 · 17/08/2024 19:11

Be careful you might get the blame for the tip off.

Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 19:09

Well it's now clear why it got reported to social service's, he's a drug dealer and his flat is being raided as I type 😐

I went out to speak to one of the officers as I thought they were here because of my report. The officer couldn't go in to specifics but strongly hinted at that being what it is.

OP posts:
90yomakeuproom · 17/08/2024 16:08

I don't want to worry you but hope to inform you that this notification/Safeguarding report has probably gone to your children's school too. It is called operation encompass where any police incidents are shared with ss and schools.

Elsvieta · 17/08/2024 15:59

If the neighbour lied to the police and said you're an abusive parent they had no choice but to report it. But people maliciously make false reports like that all the time; the police are wise to it. Don't let it worry you or stop you calling them if you need to.

Cabincrew1 · 17/08/2024 15:23

Are you sure your horrible neighbours haven’t told them you’re abusing your children.

Its well known the police haven’t got a clue about domestics, even between couples they will arrest the victim because they appear to be kicking off, feeling safe to voice their abuse, whilst the actual abuser is sitting there all quiet and meek playing the victim.

Trinity65 · 17/08/2024 14:43

Oh Bless You
Don't fret OP

Two times the SS came to mine.

1st time my Son had a broken arm (due to his brother pushing him off a top bunkbed) and a referral was made.

2nd time (same Son!) fell and hit his head on concrete, causing a huge bump, It was witnessed by his friend's Mum though and I took Him to the Doctors (both the friends Mum and Doctor confirmed I had done this). Referral made.

Cases were both closed before they opened if that makes sense
I was furious at the time (not now though, as I see why these referrals were made, but I was in a bad place myself at that time).

Original poster
Blackandwhite191919 · 17/08/2024 13:41

Crunchymum · 17/08/2024 12:56

One example of many - I once called the police as I'd been assaulted and locked in the house (domestic abuse) but because the abuser lied and told them I'd assaulted him - I got arrested, even though he had a long history of doing the same things

This is shocking 😲

I cannot see how it goes from victim calling the police to victim being arrested?

He had a personality disorder and would self harm.

He hit me, locked me in the house and was cutting his arms with a broken piece of ceramic he'd smashed (he did it every time I wanted to leave him)

When the police turned up he had fresh cuts on his arms and told them I'd done it.

"Duty bound" because he had injuries apparently. The fact his whole body was full of self harm marks old and new clearly escaped them.. and the fact he was well known to them whereas I wasn't

Edited to add - this was many, many years ago, he isn't my children's father.

OP posts:
Crunchymum · 17/08/2024 12:56

One example of many - I once called the police as I'd been assaulted and locked in the house (domestic abuse) but because the abuser lied and told them I'd assaulted him - I got arrested, even though he had a long history of doing the same things

This is shocking 😲

I cannot see how it goes from victim calling the police to victim being arrested?

saraclara · 17/08/2024 12:44

For example, with childrens services supporting you (if you consented) they could help you

That. They're not perfect, but a letter from them mentioning safeguarding your children from this man, could be really helpful. I know it's hard for you to see then as allies, but still...

SummerSplashing · 17/08/2024 12:40

endofsummerevenings · 17/08/2024 10:38

The point is surely that it’s the neighbour who needs investigation - not the OP!

@endofsummerevenings

the OP ISN'T being investigated, that's the point!!

the children were being referred to SS because of the neighbour scaring them, not the OP.

@Blackandwhite191919

im sorry about your history xx

However, TRY to take on board what people have told you. It's the neighbour they're concerned about, not you!

they're not taking it further this time (though you don't know they haven't visited him & told him to get a grip & behave himself) but it's on record. If he continues being a hit, report him again & you'll be creating a 'history' of his behaviour.

the police did the right thing (the compulsory thing for them) but I'm sorry they didn't explain it to you properly & have scared you.

SmileyHappyPeopleInTheSun · 17/08/2024 12:31

I think it's just standard procedure - same as your child being in A&E can end up with a HV visit or phone call - even if not in your care at the time of injury. Not a pleasant surprise though.

Can the council noise department help you - prove the noisy is just living noise or help with noise related harassment from neighbour?

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