To tell DD she can't do it anymore?

If I'm reading it right, you haven't actually got a job yet, so this is all totally hypothetical.

So let her do the classes while you still can, while you're looking for work.

By the time you've found something, it might be flexible, the hours might work anyway, your DH could do one day, you do 3 days, there might be an older girl in the class able to pick her up and take her, there might be a parent willing to take her, the class might have changed time, she might have decided she hates it. So many possibilities. Give it 2 years, she can probably get herself there if it's walking distance from her school.

I don't think you should say no on the basis of something that may or may not happen in the future. Let her do it while you can. If it really doesn't work once you've found a job, then so be it.

Have you considered working in care? I have been doing this, and surprised how much i love it (mostly) and a lot of companies are extremely flexible with this sort of thing and are living wage.

How does this work with school times? How far is it? Sounds like it might not work out anyway? Ds is 8yo and finishes 3:30 and does all extra classes at school, but if we had to leave for outside classes then it doesn't work.

Also is your dh working and you expecting him to leave work and run around? Pick her up, drop her off to classes then wait around and bring her back. That would not be acceptable during a work day.

This sounds like a huge commitment for the entire family and you really need to think about the logistics here not just 'dance competitions'. You could ask another parent whose child is going there too but just any other parent wouldn't want to do this.

Or you could get an after school nanny to do all school pickup and extra classes for all the kids so that relieves both you and dh to work. This would be the best solution imo.

Of course yanbu.

Tbh I think 8 is way too young to specialise into spending all this time on one thing anyway.

At 8 dd1 was loving dance, doing ballet modern and tap while crying over not being allowed to give up swimming lessons till the end of stage 7. By 10 she’d quit dance and joined a competitive swimming club.

If she doesn’t do anything else I’d find her some other stuff. She can then go back to doing more when she’s older if she wants (and she may not want to).

Oh come on, just set up a random self employed business?

And there are no au pairs now.

If you are going to work and no one can take her, then she'll have to leave. When she's older e.g. 12/13 she can rejoin, as she'll be able to get there and home independently.

And if you have to, let your DH tell her that it's because HE can't be bothered. Maybe if he has to actually do the letting down he might suck it up for a couple of years.

Surely your husband wouldn’t make her drop out of something she loves because he doesn’t want to do the running around?

Her dad needs to step in and make it work then.

Thats a lot less than what they charge where I am and obviously you’d need lots of clients to make it worthwhile but no way would I become a cleaner instead of what I’m trained to do just so that my DD could do an after school activity.

I think you should exhaust every avenue including DH, childminder, babysitter before giving up. There's bound to be someone who can help.
It's not just that this is your daughter's dream. She's only eight and you can't always have what you want in life. But you've told her she can have her dream and she may remember forever if you let her down without doing every you can to find a solution.

Try talking to the person who runs the class, I use to collect my DD from school walk her to the gym get her changed there and then leave her with the teacher for the 20 minutes before class. There were a couple of us who did that, they eventually started charging for the time but it was worth it so I could get back to work.

i would explore all avenues first, if you DH could drop her off straight from school so she got ready there and waited for class ? So long as someone was there to care for her, or he stayed until time, I personally would rather do that than go home and then straight out.

What!!! So your husband can do it but can't be arsed? Hell only have to do it for a little while until she's old enough to take herself.

Why not? Is it a Brexit thing?

this.

OP why are you turning yourself inside out truing to find a solution when you have one? Considering pulling your child out of this class rather than getting your husband to step up is very telling.
I genuinely thought you were a single mum with no options!

Why lol?

Round my way people doing cleaning earn £25+ an hour, it's good money and flexible.

Secondary school kids tend to finish at 3:45 and might be later but often not.

Exactly. How is this working?

Speak to the other parents at the club about sharing lifts.

Secondary school kids tend to finish at 3:45 and might be later but often not.

So your husband could do it but doesn’t want to as it’s too much running around?

That’s what parenting is. Tell him to suck it up and do it for your daughter.

Two kids and a husband who has no interest in helping with his daughter’s extra curricular hobby? Competitive dance won’t be possible for you. It involves a huge commitment and you won’t be able to do it alone whilst working an inflexible job with two kids. And you are alone since he refuses to be involved or help with her club. She’ll have to give it up.

My son does a sport which needs huge commitment. I’m a single parent with two kids and it’s only possible because I’m the boss of my business so I can do it all. I couldn’t do it with set hours and no access to an au pair to run about for me.

You don’t work now, but you don’t want her to do the classes because you will work at some point in the future?

Surely you let her go for now, when you need to work things might have changed and you might find a job with hours that suit. You’ll also have met parents of other children who attend and might be able to work out a drop off/pick up arrangement with another child.

The time is ridiculous - the older children won't have time to get out of school and get there!
How are they managing?

I completely understand your struggle. My DC are used to doing lots of activities but I’ve gradually increased my working hours as they’ve got older. This has made it difficult & especially as activities times & days change so fitting it all in is like a jigsaw. It is a team effort with family & friends to get them there. Getting there under their own steam is not possible mostly due to distances involved & timings. We also used to pay someone from nursery to help a couple of evenings a week when everything clashed. If you can make it work then do but if you have to work & that makes it impossible then that’s just life unfortunately.