To tell DD she can't do it anymore?

As a single parent working full time I had loads of these situations when they were younger. There are always ways to make things work. I asked at their school if there were any TAs looking for some extra work after school. We had 3 over the years in total and it worked out brilliantly for this kind of thing

Wait until you find a job and then work out the details. In a couple of years she'll be doing SATS anyway, so will need to focus more on school work. Your priority is going to be getting back into the workplace, and multiple straight from school clubs really aren't something working parents can manage. Speak to the club, see what suggestions they have, although some are very much of the mindset that the mum and daughter must prioritise dance over everything. (I have a neice who dances competitively, and it costs a fortune, in time and money, every weekend in another part of the country at another competition.)

So it’s basically a 20 minute walk there and a 15 minute walk back, twice a week? It’s really awful that your DH won’t do this. It’s nothing at all.

It doesn’t matter what you agreed at the start. Where you are now is that she is really good at this and will probably resent you both forever if she’s made to give it up. IMO nurturing children’s passions is one of the most important parts of parenting.

As other posters have said, if you’re taking her out of the class he has to tell her, and he has to explain it’s because he’s not willing to walk her 20 minutes to the class.

I was in a similar situation when my DD went to music school, I found a very responsible senior school girl who took my daughter to music school after lessons for a very reasonable money and I picked her up from there after work. Worked perfectly for us.

So she’s only a year or 2 off being able to walk herself? I think I’d try the suggestion of paying one of the older girls to walk with her or another school mum. It’s the fact that she’s worked so hard to get there. 4 a week is a lot- any chance of reducing it?
Aldo what kind of work would you do- you might be surprised how flexible some work places are these days (even if not advertise such)

Talk to the dance teacher, she may be able to advise, I’m sure other parents face the same issue. It would be sad if your daughter knew of other girls who had the same issue but their parents found a solution (ie someone else to take them).

@Needanadultgapyear totally. My youngest didn’t even start ballet til 13 but is doing amazingly at 17 and looking at it as a profession.

Been there, done that. As several PP have said, ask the dance school, or the WhatsApp, what other parents do. You won't be the only person in that position.

She's 8. Doesn't need to be dancing and competing.

Think of setting up your own garden maintenance business for flexibility.

Pay someone to take her

But that little bit is at least 3-4 years 4x a week. A huge commitment.
I do think extra classes/ hobbies are something that should be discussed as a family.
My ds (also 8)wanted to do a Saturday class that ran over lunchtime. Also the travel time getting there and back. That meant making no plans on a Saturday except for very late afternoon/evening but then we have a baby too and that didn't work for us. Also we didn't want to be tied up giving our Saturday.
He had to choose something else. Sorry but I don't blame your dh for not wanting to be tied to this 4x a week. If it was once a week usual classes then I would agree with everyone else.

Is competitive dance really the best way to go? Might it not be better to channel her into a dance school that offers progression through qualifications which could lead to a career in dance if she continues to enjoy it?

Will she always finish school at 3pm?

Ask the dance school if anyone else from your DD's school attends. If so, contact the parents of that child, ask them to take your DD and say you'll do pick up.
I have both done this and had it done to me. In my experience, there's an "all in it together" attitude when it comes to many of these after school clubs, or at least there is until the two DC in question become rivals for key roles!

Our other DC has clubs that are manageable as they're later in the evening.

An 8yo won't see the logistics around this, she will see her brother(?)'s activities being prioritised while she doesn't get to do her dance club.

I would let her start. There are so many options - if it's just a 20 minute walk from school then once she's 10 or 11 she can manage it independently. There might be another parent whose child comes from the same school or the same direction. There might be an older girl at dance who would be happy with £10 a week to walk with your daughter there. There is likely to be a parents' WhatsApp where you could find out what others do - you won't be the only one in this situation.

I wouldn't stop her from starting, now that you've said she can start, on the basis of a job you don't have yet while her sibling's activities are unaffected.

The most sensible thing to do is to wait until you actually have the work- it might be fine.
Otherwise, think of paying another parent to take your daughter along with theirs, ask your DH to assist with one night and be avaialable, for if your daughter needs to attend a weekend competition or if other arrangements temporarily can't happen some weeks...
Paying an Uber driver is another option.

It might be that you can work in with a couple of other parents and take each other's children on set nights.

How far are is the class from her school? Can she cycle between them? Are there any other (older) kids from her school/passing her school?

Discuss it with the class runner; maybe she's picking up other kids, too, or there's a dance parents WhatsApp to arrange things.

Edit: a 5+15 min walk is a 6-7 minute cycle...

Are the classes within walking distance of the school? If they are why not ask DH to do it for a bit then DD walks herself, she will soon be old enough (obviously depending on location etc)

Please explore all these options. How would it be if she always felt that she "could have been......" had she only had the chance?

Oh give over! The chances of her making a decent living as a dancer are tiny.

Agree that DH should step up BUT I'd be wary of entering a commitment that involves 4 afternoons a week plus weekends plus huge expense for several years.

My schedule on a day DD has dance is both school runs, quickly get DD changed, take both to her club to drop her off, either head home for an hour or stay out with other DC round the shops/library, pick DD back up and then go home.

See this is what I find really unfair on everyone. If your other dc finish school why should they be dragged around mooching shops and killing time, go home quickly and then go out again for their own activities. As I said this type of commitment needs to work for the entire family. Her classes impact the entire family.

Do you honestly see her future as a professional dancer?
These clubs start small and before you know it, it’s every weekend all weekend with shows, completions, expensive dresses, whilst the owners take in a fortune.

same with gymnastics and swimming - good skills for team building -

Stick to the fun classes.

I never signed up for anything other than exercise/fun classes.