To tell DD she can't do it anymore?

What kind of jobs are you applying for? Are you very you won't be able to get one that finishes in time for school run?
Cleaning or home care are good options as someone else suggested. Or something you can do from home flexibly?
Another good option would be asking other parents if they can take your DD some days and you take theirs another, there's probably others in the same position as you.
Also can't your DH even agree to doing this one day a week even? It's just what we have to do for our kids sometimes.

Some of these suggestions! A nanny, taxis, ironing job 😆😆😆

What do you do for work?

A lot of jobs now can be done remotely, from home, and with more flexible hours.

I technically don't finish until 4/430 depending on what time I logon, but I sometimes work in the evenings too, to catch up when I've had to take DD to the docs or the dog to the vets, etc. The plan when she's at school is to log off, do the school run, settle her in with a snack and an activity and finish up my work before dinner / after if needs be.

If she had a club important to her I'd take her there and work longer other days or later on in the evening.

Working life has changed a lot the last few years for many places, so it may be easier than you think.

Have you even asked him what he thinks about it if you were to go back to work?

Oh gosh, I’d personally sacrifice to ensure my daughter could continue the dance classes. Her life is just beginning and these early years are so precious in terms of creative pursuits.

OP...no matter how often you repeat yourself when MN's read the words 'DH can't' nine times out of ten the hate starts so you'll get a good few messages telling you what a shit DH/DF he is.

I don't think professional dancers really do these competitions? I could be wrong!

Entering for the enjoyment is one thing, and obviously it's great practice for auditions but it's not a path to a professional career. If that's the goal, focus on getting the best tuition until they're of an age to audition for dance school.

Could you learn to drive to make life generally a bit easier?

As a parent of adult kids: I can not tell you how important it is that your child has an activity they are passionate about! You must exhaust all options!

Have you discussed it with the dance teacher?
They may be able to help with a solution

Does your dh not drive either?

He might have thought it was too much before she started but if she's clearly loving the classes and thriving when this actually becomes an issue down the line, surely he'll want to support her?

These are tiny distances so absolutely doable, particularly as she'll be able to get herself to class as she gets older so it's a finite commitment from you both. Or she may get fed up with it.

Anyway, don't go borrowing problems from tomorrow.

You have to decide if you want to commit to this. I did, and accordingly we had to budget for it and allocate a lot of time, mostly mine, but I WFH so it was mostly doable. Few days I had to ask other parents to help. This was from 8 to 14 (DD had to give up at 14). We were at the commercial agency stage when DD gave up, so the commitments were getting more, auditions etc., and she was due to go to stage school at 16 (as I say didn't work out.) But I wanted to give her that chance - that's the thing OP, you have to make it work for her.

If you are married to your DH, even though he's her step dad, he would have to take it all on too, same as a bio dad. Do you have children together or are all the kids just yours?

If you cannot take her, you cannot take her. A bit 🤔🙄 at the Au pair suggestions. This is classic mumsnet. Don't give it a second thought. It's part of live. simple.

I've never heard of a dance school in the UK which has a comp team that doesn't also ensure that every dancer does RAD/ISTD or equivalent graded exams in their main technique classes alongside the comp team rehearsals. It's just how most dance schools operate as a standard.

The actual qualifications to become a dance teacher or "qualified" dancer aren't usually an option until at least 16, if not 18 in most cases. And there's actually no pre-requisite for having taken exams previously with some colleges...you'd be advised to be "at least Grade 8 or Advanced 2 standard" but not asked to provide certificates. The evidence would be the dancer's technique and potential, assessed at audition. Sometimes exceptionally talented dancers (usually boys!) get in to the Post 16 vocational
schools with little training or grades...rare but not impossible. More common in Contemporary, Street etc. And you don't actually need a qualification at all to become a professional dancer in many genres...again rare, but it happens for lucky few.

But bottom line - I'd be bowled over if OPs child's dance school will not be putting her dd through her grades and training her for comps. They go hand in hand. And the discipline of competing, the regular exposure to an audience, the provision of regular constructive, professional criticism from judges, constantly having to learn new choreography at speed and the opportunities to travel and dance in many different venues, will actually help to prepare OPs DD for a professional dance career rather than harm her chances.

Why is it “so important”? She can still do dance, just not competing.

We had au pairs for years, our local town even had au pair nights in one of the pubs. I know of a couple of people who did manage to get someone recently and both times they left within a month to get a job in London.

Ok. You are jumping ahead quite a bit!

Keep everything as it is so long as DD is enjoying it.

Look for a wfh/hybrid job. That should enable you to do some of the ferrying around, and DH can do the rest.

The chances of all this staying the same until DD is 17 are frankly negligible. Deal with it one stage at a time.

Okay if he’s the stepfather I retract my previous post about him being awful. I still think it’s so important to find a way to make it work. PP have had some good suggestions

yes, Brexit killed off most of them, Canadians and Aussies still can come, but their Visa costs are really big now and they want to be in London, there are so few of them, if they go outside London, they don't have any friends and leave!

The government also changed the law last April, so that they could no longer pay "pocket money", basically they are now employees with rights to min wage etc.

Don't any of the other parents work? Unless it is attached to a school, i think the dance club is being unreasonable in having such an early start time.

Work for you takes peiory. I would explain the reason she can't do this class to both her dance teacher and your DD and then wait til she is old enough to walk to the class on her own.

A few years out of competitive dancing will not hinder her if she wants to do competitive dancing later