To tell DD she can't do it anymore?

This, Competitive dance is toxic and a bit of a scam.

Out of interest, like what other careers?

Find a local sixth former who'd like some easy part-time work. They can pick DD up and walk her to class for you.

They have, upthread

He’s her step parent. On here, people fall over themselves to tell step parents that they never have to parent their step kids whatsoever. It’s also not a question of just walking 20 minutes - he will have the other children with him and will need to keep them entertained for the duration of the DD’s dance class. He pays for the classes. He told the OP it was too much and she decided she would make it work despite that. He’s by no means a shit parent here. It’s also highly unlikely that the DD will become a professional dancer and nor is it a career I’d aspire to given that it’s so competitive and short in duration. She can enjoy dance without doing it 4 times a week. Also, none of her siblings will likely be able to engage in a hobby of similar intensity because the parents’ time will be taken up with the dance.

This.

That makes no sense. If she's a SAHM he wont need to do it because she will.

If he does do it because she's working, then he's no longer the sole breadwinner and she's contributing to both the household expenses and activities.

Reading between the lines though, I wonder if he'd prefer her not to work.

What about booking a regular taxi to take her? Preferably woman driver. You can book in advance then pick her up yourself afterwards.

It’s not his child to be running around after and he’s already working so that OP can be a SAHM to children that aren’t his and pay for all these activities. Not being willing to bend over backwards to enable an eight year old child to go to an entirely optional and very demanding hobby multiple times a week is quite reasonable, especially when he’s said from the beginning he thinks it’s too much.

There’d be uproar on here at the suggestion a step mum, already the breadwinner and financially enabling her husband to be a SAHD, should organise her life around a step son going to a football academy.

OP, like many others suggested you could pay another school mum or 17 year old to take her. Also you may want to talk to the manager about pushing the timings back (with some other mums) as I’m sure many of them are in the same boat as you.

So your dh could do it, but just doesn't want to?

I’d have a decent look at other options first . Lots of good ideas here. 8 is not far off independence I’d investigate other children who go and car pooling. A flexible finish time once a week is much more like palatable to employers. Speak to the dance school you will not be the first parent in this position and they may know.

Job wise consider the civil service/ la the pay is not great but good pension and tend to be flexible/ family friendly.

My dd did dance and it was more than a hobby

It has become part of her business and has led to loads of other opportunities

Whilst being a dancer isn’t the most lucrative of careers it does lead to other stuff that are far more well paying

Exactly @LiquoriceAllsorts2 - where do these magical jobs exist? Especially since OP has stated that jobs are hard to come by where she lives. Honestly - MN at its finest....surprised someone hasn't told her to take in ironing yet 😂

Explain the situation to the people who run the team. They will know who might be using teens or a childminder to do drop offs from school and might have some ideas.

To be fair it might have been a council taxi; I don't know. The child in question was 7 and had SEN. It was always the same person and the child felt safe with them.

Anyway, the OP says it's not possible... although if collecting from school I think a substitute responsible adult could be found.

100% this!! Dance classes like this are a feckn nightmare unless you are a non-working/cliquey/'dance mom'! My daughter did it and they were always looking for more - more time, more money, more input from the parent. Extra practice for competitions/exams; cost of the exams; chaperoning on the bus to competitions; selling tickets for club shows.

Honestly, it was the bane of my life so I was so glad when DD got fed up of all the favouratism, back biting and general stress and changed to a running club.

I'd pull her out now before she gets any more attached - she'll get over and it and you can find something else that suits you better as getting back to work is quite important IMHO - because you want to.

My kids get school taxis. They go to different school so not in together; my high school kid is in with several other kids but my primary child goes alone.
Those driver’s are properly checked out and are safe around kids. I’d have no problem sending them in a car with a taxi driver who does school runs. She could just ask for one of those.

The OP didn’t say his work hours prohibited it. If that were the issue then that’s what she would have said, because then it’s not an option and simply impossible. She said he won’t do it because he doesn’t want to. I’ll base my replies on what the OP actually says.

My dd is also 8 and a competitive dancer since she was 5. Twice a week classes start at 4pm which is a bit of a nightmare, there is no way I can get her there. One day a week my mum does it, dh does the other, but goes back to work once he’s dropped her off. Near comps extra classes are added and in-laws help, my mum does extra and I share drop off/pick ups with other mums. It can be quite stressful, but dd loves it. I asked the teacher for her private slot to be 6-7 on one of the days so that I’m home to help.

Get a part-time job, mornings or one of the 10-2 ones aimed at parents of younger children. 4 days a week is a lot but if you were happy with that, it seems cruel to stop DD doing it now.

No, that's not what she said. She said he would finish work early in order to do the school pick up. He'll then be looking after two children, not working.

But I don't think it's fair to call him names - I don't think op has even asked him.

I’d be very hesitant to put DD8 in a cab with just a stranger

It is during his work hours. We have no idea what job he does but you can’t just regularly take time out during your working hours and presumably his job is pretty important for the family. That does not make him a shitty husband/father.
presumably it’s only affordable due to the money he brings in from his job

She’s only 8, between school and such a full on dance schedule, when does she get to just be a kid?