To tell DD she can't do it anymore?

I would:

Not worry until you get a job: it might have flexi hours / wfh hours whatever

Meanwhile See if there is a 17 yo in the class who would do this for pay 2 days a week

See if there is another local parent at the class who would do reciprocal swaps

Let DH know that parenting is one big juggling act… so keep juggling!

IF your Dd keeps it up she can go independently from 11, just as kids go to secondary school.

Why are you doing two school runs? Personally as kids approach teen age I would move house to a place they can travel independently to and from school, clubs, friends, activities.

But DH can do it, he just doesn’t want to as well as school runs on those days…

Lol

Please ignore some of the emotive pressure on here. Of course if you need to work and can't get her there she can't do it.
8 year olds hobbies are not more important than working!
Do explore the practical suggestions mentioned here but if you can't manage it then you can't.
My son is a good dancer and was doing two types of dance but I had to cut him down to one out of the two because the dance school changed their timetable so the two classes were on different days and also moved venue so it was a massive hassle to get him there.

It's just part of family life - until they're old enough to drive/get public transport themselves they can only do things parents can sensibly get them to around work and any siblings.

A lot of jobs are hybrid nowadays. Perhaps look at jobs further away where you can mostly work from home and work flexibly into the evening

If she's really good then dance teachers might be able to help if they want her to continue

I am in a somewhat similar situation with my son's athletics - he is nine and he is good, and would like to train with a local running club, but the training sessions are mostly on weekdays at 4pm or 4:30pm.

I can't do it. I work, I can't rely on working from home reluably, I don't earn enough for a nanny, we don't have space for an au pair, and nobody is looking for the hassle of bringing him to the track for a few quid.

I do feel bad but we need money and a roof over our heads, so he does everything that is available outside my work hours and that is the best we can do.

Oh and now I read the update. Suck it up DH, running around is part and parcel of primary age kids. It’s no longer about chilling out after work. Sounds like your career has been on hold for far too long and now it’s his turn to do some parenting.

TBH competitive dance is VERY expensive and involves a lot of weekend commitment too.

Is truly viable for the next decade?

Is there anyone at her school that also attends that could share the drop off with?

If you’re not working now, let her continue. It seems crazy to stop now, when you don’t know what the future looks likes.

If she loves the team, then you could consider remote work til she’s at an age when she can get herself there. If she’s 8, she’s only three years from secondary, when she’s be getting herself to school by herself anyway. A suitable ,non-remote job might turn up in that time. You also may find that once you get to know other team parents, you can team up to support each other. Or your daughter may hate the competitive element after a while and want to quit.

Your dd sounds great, be proud of her and start planning instead of worrying!

DH should absolutely suck it up. We all do things like this for our children.

But it sounds like you're saying your DH could do it, it's just he's unwilling to; is that right?

Other people have suggested lots of good options, but if she is a naturally talented dancer her long term outcomes will not suffer if she stops till she is in senior school because your family dynamics need you to work,
In fact most people in professional dance training have not been on the competition circuit. My one DD stopped ballet at 7 and only did two for a while. At 15 she took ballet back up and has been dancing on pointe for a year now at 20 and is in professional training at a high ranking school.

People keep suggesting au pairs on these threads but
THERE ARE BASICALLY NO AU PAIRS ANY MORE!

Work for yourself, and set your own hours?
Cleaning, ironing, etc?

I would let her carry on until you've explored all the options above.
She may be fed up with the classes after 6 months- this is not unheard of with 8 year olds!
It's a shame to stop her going now when you haven't actually got a job.

It’s a little unusual that the classes don’t get later with age - surely most secondary kids can’t get to an after school activity that early? Have a chat with her teacher to see what they can suggest/ if they can give an idea of how it might change over time

She’s currently 8 (so I am guessing she is likely about to start Y4, unless she’s one of the youngest in her year and therefore starting Y5). Is there anyone from her primary school, who is close to her age?

Could you either pay a parent to take her from school to dance? Or depending on distance/SG policies (both the schools and dance teams), allow her to walk with a friend to class?

Do t withdraw until all avenues exhausted. Friends, family, childminder, teenager etc.

Please explore all these options. How would it be if she always felt that she "could have been......" had she only had the chance?

By 11 she may be able to get there herself. By 9 she may even decide she hates it. If she goes it and it keeps her fit and happy - what more can you ask? So if you can, do it.

If you really can't - do what you can to keep her dance ticking over until she's old enough to join a competitive class that she can get to herself. And explain that to her.

What about looking at a nanny? There are some companies that do after school nannies and they’ll take children to activities.

I'd look at every possible option, it will be so sad for her to be forced to give up now.

Ask if any other school mums have children involved that could take her.

Pay a childminder or other service. Or an older girl.

It would be frowned upon now but my parents used taxis...booked to pick me up and drop me at a set time week in week out.

If she loves it and wants to keep at it then I'd try to find a way to happen.

I used to pay the teenager next door to take my DD from the childminder to drama club.

The childminder I used to use when my DC was small often did drop offs and pick ups to clubs and hobbies with his older children OP. It might be worth looking into first?

I agree that some childminders may do this for you.

Or an au pair.

Or can you look for a job where you work flexibly and finish early that day in exchange for working late a different day?