Should I pay for this from my savings?

Really don’t understand separate finances between married people. Surely you’re a team or you’re not?
I once read that you shouldn’t contemplate marriage to anyone you wouldn’t go into business with, and I agree that there would be less divorces if marriage was approached more like a business deal!

I’d probably agree with your husband, but then I don’t understand having personal and joint savings and without knowing what each are for it’s just not possible to say

Joint if it's health. Yours if it's purely cosmetic. Unless you need cosmetic treatment because having children has damaged your teeth, then I'd class it as health.

All our savings are joint, albeit in single names for tax planning, and I can’t imagine a discussion where I would have to persuade my dh to help pay for dental treatment. I’ve just inherited a large sum of money and it’s our money, not just mine.

I spent 1000's on dental implants last year which I paid for from my savings not our joint savings. The work certainly wasn't cosmetic, I couldn't eat properly.

Why does your husband want you to use your savings instead of joint savings ? How does this affect him? Unless you two plan on ending any time soon or he really wants to lead a better life then you financially there is no reason for having separate savings.

Without getting into the general debate about how couples manage their money, in our household all medical /clinical / dental work is paid for out of joint family money.

I think it's important to protect yourself , you never know what might happen.

Surprised by the replies on here. Whenever someone mentions money, the replies are usually that married couples share everything and it’s weird to have separate money. We’d share the cost for something like this as it’s healthcare, you’re not choosing it. The only things we pay for from our personal savings are treats. But it does depend on how you manage your finances. How much do you save regularly into your personal savings vs joint?

My husband and I don't have his and hers pots.

Everything is family money and everything is a family expense.

We discuss expensive/hobby type things that we individually want to do such as concerts, nights out, matches etc and budget for them.

When I had dental work (implant) it came from joint savings, it wasn't even discussed. How much do you put into each savings account monthly? TBH all money is both of ours so this just wouldn't be a question. If DH thinks it should come from your account I would probably do that but cut back in what I was adding to the joint account.

I would use my own savings for this, family savings is for family stuff like the DC in future, holidays, the house

Do you work OP?

I work and earn more than my OH so any dental treatment id pay myself without question.

If I was a SAHM and didn’t work and the OH was the breadwinner id expect dental work to come out of his earnings. I don’t see why a SAHM should deplete savings she cannot easily replace in this circumstance.

What is your reasoning why it should come from joint?

DH and I have joint savings and I have personal savings. I use the personal savings for cosmetic things like hair & beauty. If I had a dental procedure that was purely cosmetic I would pay for it from my own money.

For necessary treatments, joint savings would fund it. I had serious gum disease after both pregnancies and, due to lack of NHS treatment during COVID, have spent the last 4 years (and about 3k) dealing with that. All paid for jointly.

I also think that if personal savings can't be replenished it depends on the reason for that too. If she cannot replenish them because she has gone part time to look after their kids, that is different to if she can't replenish them because she is paying off a loan for something personal.

I don't know how anyone could answer this, it completely depends.

You could be saving £50pm in your own savings, and £1k a month into joint, or vice versa. It might completely empty your saving, or you might have a huge pot it wouldn't make a dent in.

Personally, I cover small dental bills from my savings, but wouldn't be able to afford a huge bill like that, as my personal savings are far smaller than joint.

This would come under medical/ healthcare expenses and would be a joint savings expense in our household.

Purely cosmetic work I would pay for myself.

Personal dental hygiene is personal, not a family matter.

Agree. It's even weirder when people with kids do this

This is so weird, why do you and your husband have separate money. This would give me the ick squabbling over who pays for what

Slightly surprised at the replies OP. I need ‘restorative’ dental work - entirely related to having HG in multiple pregnancies over the previous 5 ish years, which has wreaked my teeth and gums. We’ve discussed the work as household healthcare expenses and are saving for it. Yes it’s my teeth but our individual savings are for things like nights out, clothing etc. not our homes or health. I’d find your dh’s position dismissive and likely (a little) upsetting.

I do too to some extent. We have a joint account where all money goes into. But then we then each extract ‘fun funds’ each month. This was to stop me feeling guilty about spending money on myself. He contributes about 75% of income but we have the same fun funds amount. We are definitely in the minority though. We also got together very young though and each brought very little to the marriage financially- I think that makes a significant difference.

Depends where the various savings pots have come from and what they are for. All our money is considered joint, so I don't know. Does dental work usually come out of the joint pot?

I disagree with many. Teeth come under health for me so that’s joint savings. Anything even if for just 1 person that is just part of daily living / needs is family money. Clothes / nails / weekend away with the girls then that’s personal savings.