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Original poster

How do you deal with flying monkeys : people you don't know well but know they speak the words of their controller

136 replies

Flyingmmonkeys · 17/08/2024 07:47

. ?? I've got a several days wedding with flying monkeys from my sister.
An ex flying monkey told me my sister (much older) is obsessed with me and overwhelming jealous. People I know less than aqantences have been vile to me , people I don't know have been vile and other family members I don't see much have been vile and they all feel sorry for her? They use the same phrases about me she uses
What do you say? How do you combat it she's extremely good at what she does ie turning family members away.

OP posts:
KeirSpoutsTwaddle · 17/08/2024 08:08

It doesn’t matter what they say or think.

While you care, then you are playing your sister’s game- which means she is winning.

If you need to be there, then keep it light and superficial. Don’t get drawn in or engage. Don’t ‘hear’ any criticism or accusations. Just be calm and factual.

For example if she’s spread around that you drink heavily, don’t feel obliged to explain at greta length how little you drink. Just look surprised and move along.

Original poster
Flyingmmonkeys · 17/08/2024 08:06

@FinalInstructionstotheAudience

It's what you call people who are literally like a robotic mouth piece for someone toxic.

So my sister hates me she's turned slagging me off into a life's Misson and people are so disgusted with me, they attack me on her behalf. Even though she lives thousands of miles away and I've not seen her for years.

OP posts:
FinalInstructionstotheAudience · 17/08/2024 08:06

Ok, just googled this before someone tells me to.
Is there nothing people won't put a label on?

Original poster
Flyingmmonkeys · 17/08/2024 08:04

It's hard to describe. There are some relatives I know are captured and have been extremely hostile before.
But others I don't know that well but are good friends with the nicer people have been glaring at me. Then asked directly do you talk to x and when I said no shook their heads in disgust.
Yes I can walk away but I'd also like to defend myself.

OP posts:
ISawAMouse · 17/08/2024 08:02

Ive been on the receiving end of it too.
All you can do is ignore it. If you say anything it will be twisted as proof that you have done what she has said.
IME if you say anything they will say ‘she said you would say that’.
You can’t win with narcs and their flying monkeys.

FinalInstructionstotheAudience · 17/08/2024 08:01

I don't understand this post at all! Is it a game?
What are flying monkeys?
Am I that old I have completely fallen out of step with the world?

CubistViolin · 17/08/2024 07:59

If they’re ’less than acquaintances’ or people you don’t know at all, surely you can just avoid them at the wedding? And their notions of you, whether or not they’re courtesy of your sister, can just be stopped with a ‘Thanks for your opinion, total stranger. I’m going to go and sit somewhere else/get a drink/talk to someone less weird and negative.’?

HowIrresponsible · 17/08/2024 07:59

YABU for going to her wedding and subjecting yourself to this. Just don't turn up

PonyPatter44 · 17/08/2024 07:57

Just ignore them. It's OK to do that, you don't have to get involved with every piece of drama that comes your way. Im sure there are other people on the trip you can hang around with. When they don't get a response, they will give up goading you.

ChekhovsMum · 17/08/2024 07:52

I think you need to get a whole new set of friends and stop giving a shit about everyone you’ve just mentioned.
People exist in this world who can behave like adults without any of this drama. Find them.

Blablablabladibla · 17/08/2024 07:52

"oh you're repeating what X has said. Don't you have a mind or your own?" And then walk off

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