Not sure if this is the right thread but struggling to place. Hoping for people to send some objective insight.
I'm late mid 30s and single parent of a daughter aged ten. Also the youngest of three sisters. I had my daughter unexpectedly whilst not in a relationship and father is only semi involved. At the time of her birth I was finishing my PhD and working part time in a minimum wage job. I went back to work full time when she was 4 months old and in the ten years I've worked my way up to being on a salary upwards of 75k.
For some reason I'm insanely jealous of my middle sister and I can't work out why. She's married with three kids and works part time in a low paid admin role. Her husband isn't particularly great in terms of fatherhood duties. He earns mid-30s. This sister has a very cosy life, quite small town mentality, keeps family and friends close but isn't worldly or outward looking in perception etc. The closest I can get to describe her that people would understand is 'basic bitch' but she's not a bitch, she's lovely, just very simple.
None of this is what I want in life and nothing that aligns with my values or personality. In fact, my oldest sister is hugely high-flying, massive earner, very prolific in her field. And yet it's my middle sister I feel this jealousy of which feels so instinctive rather than rational that I can't make sense of it.
I don't want a husband who does no childcare. I don't want a minimum wage entry level job. Surely I should be jealous of my oldest sister who feels like me but a million times better? But I'm not, I'm just happy for her. And I can't work it out.
Any armchair psychs out there who want to float why?