Not a good wife

Your husband's a fucking prick. Divorce him. You'll soon get your self-esteem and self-worth back after getting rid of this disrespectful shitty man.

You beat me to it ! Rewarding him for being a twat.

On the contrary, leave him a bloody long list. Make sure that everything you would usually do is on the list right down to cleaning the toilet. Rule in a column for him to tick it all off as he does it.

Hugs, Id guess he’s thinking back to the days before marriage when you had sex, brought him back eg a bar from the shop, had dates, did surprises for each other. As others said do men not know if there was an equal house in terms of housework and kids we’d be less tired and so have enthusiasm for being spontaneous having fun etc. someone has to adult!!!

Well, you're one up on him. He is neither a good father, not a good husband.

I know it’s not the point of the thread but what’s with all the 2’s instead of ‘to’.

For what it’s worth, he sounds like a ‘bad’ husband. Perhaps you should go out drinking for the evening and come home and tell him that.. Am sure he’ll really appreciate it (twat!).

No, don't do this.

I would stop doing everything for him. If he asks why just say “oh I can’t I’m no good at it”.

Catdogmouse1 · Today 22:23
Im going to have 2 leave him a list for next week.when he has 2 watch the kids... my normal childminders r off so he has had 2 take holidays 2 look after them... im back to work next week after time off 2 watch the kids. Think he may be frazzled by the time i get home and i wont even b away as long a day as him.

Firstly, no list, unless it's a deliberately long one listing all that you normally do (i.e. laundry, food shop, cleaning etc. but don't be helpful. Also, why the hell would you consider coming back at the usual time, rather than working late, going to the gym and out for drinks with friends. You don't need to do any of these things if you feel too tired. You could just go to the cinema and have a nap or sleep in your car if you have one.

Thing is, most men don’t want a second mother. The laundry, cooking, cleaning—those things often fly under their radar. They don't value them the way we do. The hard truth is, men really thrive on feeling respected and admired. It might seem frustrating, but stroking his ego a bit can work wonders. Compliment him, even if it’s for something small, and thank him for any contribution he makes, even if you’re doing it through gritted teeth or don't really mean it.

When a man feels capable and respected, his confidence gets a boost, which in turn motivates him to step up and do more. The best part? He’s not doing it out of a sense of duty, but because it genuinely makes him feel good about himself and the relationship. Then, you can start suggesting things he can do to help you out. It's even better if you can make it seem like it was his idea.

Can you get a week’s evening entry to a nearby health spa and have a swim and steam each day after work, like he goes to the gym. Sounds like you need a pick-me-up.

Then you can look forward to coming home to ‘a good husband’, who’s attentive to your needs, after his day with the kids 😉

Don’t leave the prick a list. Let him figure it out like the big man he thinks he is. Why are you with him?

I would tell him he's a shite husband and a shite father as he never does anything for either the kids or you! Then I would remind him that there are certain things that he can also do for himself and hand him a box of tissues.

I'd tell him to go fuck himself.

Don't leave a fucking list! He's their father!

I could have written this. The nasty comments, criticism etc just got worse to the point the only communication between us was his criticism and abuse. I decided this year to leave him. You deserve better than this. Hope its a very short phase that he apologises for and tries to make amends. Your week next week sounds a good enough time to make him realise just what you do. Id book a few playdates he has to turn up to, maybe hairdresser for kids and send him for birthfday presents for kids wee friends. Ask him to resesrch clubs and get kids on waiting lists for x, y and z - he has to find contact details etc though. ;-) its not a week to stay holed up indoors. You will feel bad but stay out late too. Ypu deserve me-time.

"Am i missing something?"

Yes, the phone number for a shit hot divorce lawyer.

When kids wake during the night, switch main light on, crash around the place and dump a child on top of him while you tend to the other. From now on NO washing, cooking and ANYTHING that supports him is cancelled.

💯 %

Make sure you’re booked to do something after work on those days…dinner with a friend, cinema, gym, whatever. He does it, he doesn’t come home as soon as he’s finished work because he knows you’re there picking up the slack.
Then make it your aim to go out at least twice a week while he looks after the DC.

My husband did say that.

Thankfully, he is now my ex husband! He was a rubbish human being.

I mean, it's the summer holidays so whatever counts as non term-time stuff! Oops. Terrible wife, me.

Another vote for no list. No pointing out P.E kits need washing, lunches need making. Nothing. Tell him beforehand the kids are his responsibility this week, and at the end you'll let him know how he's been as a husband. (The kids will tell him what sort of father he's been.)Knobber.

If my DH was gone 7-7 then the time after that to go to the gym, I don't think I'd have much energy left over to be a 'good wife' either. It doesn't sound like he's a great husband, being away so much.