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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be pissed off DP is out drinking with his friends?

68 replies

rivertine · 16/08/2024 21:33

He lives in the same town as me and finishes work in the evenings during the week. We don't live together. My young DS is on holiday with his grandparents so it means I have more free rime to see him.

He has stayed over twice this week and is tonight too. He went out with work for someone's birthday at 5pm. I said I would pick him up.

He has now gone to meet up with his friends at a pub nearby (this was not planned).

He will be spending tomorrow evening and all of Sunday with his friends too.

Am I expecting too much? I feel like telling him to make his own way home.

OP posts:
nextdoorconundrum · 16/08/2024 21:43

This :

Sorry u have been out with friends tonight and don't know what time I will be back .. can't pick you up as in no fit state .. let me know your plans ..

PLAY HIM AT HIS OWN GAME !!

mushpush · 16/08/2024 21:42

It's nice you've got more free time as your son is on holiday and it sounds like your DP has already stayed over twice already?

Unless he's a raging party monster, I don't think bumping into friends on a night out and staying for a few more drinks is some sort of dealbreaker? Especially before 10pm! I kind of feel like I wouldn't be massively changing my weekend social plans based on a partner being childfree that weekend.

Could he just get a taxi back if you don't fancy doing a late night pick up? You've still got all of tomorrow together?

pikkumyy77 · 16/08/2024 21:42

He’s not your partner he’s just your boyfriend. A partner is someone who is more concerned with you than just the occasional shag. A partner structures their life around you and tries to be with you when they can.

Dinosweetpea · 16/08/2024 21:41

Definitely don't pick him up, you aren't a free taxi service. Have a glass (or 3) of wine and go to bed. He's a grown man, he can get himself home.

DamnUserName21 · 16/08/2024 21:41

You'd be a mug to pick him up. You are clearly not a priority for him.

Make arrangements with friends for the rest of the weekend or entertain yourself solo but don't settle for some guy who prioritises getting pissed with his friends rather than quality time with you.

Raise your bar!

rivertine · 16/08/2024 21:41

Blablablabladibla · 16/08/2024 21:39

He probs doesn't understand now freeing it is for you to have some child free time. I'm not defending him but most men can't join the dots for themselves.

Why does he think you'd be happy to be his taxi?

Thank you.

I offered to pick him up from the drinks with work

OP posts:
bringmorewashing · 16/08/2024 21:41

I wouldn't feel too happy about this, and I wouldn't be picking him up either. He can get a taxi. And I'd make other plans without him for a while.

rivertine · 16/08/2024 21:40

Ponoka7 · 16/08/2024 21:39

Would you normally be together over the weekend, or do you expect him to drop friends because you are free? Why aren't you invited at all? Tell him the latest that you are willing to pick him up, see what he says back.

No we don't, he usually stays two nights per week after work when I don't have DC. Then sometimes for a few hours after work. Then spends Sat and Sun with friends.

I think I was just hoping he'd want to make the most out of an opportunity to spend more time with me.

OP posts:
Blablablabladibla · 16/08/2024 21:39

He probs doesn't understand now freeing it is for you to have some child free time. I'm not defending him but most men can't join the dots for themselves.

Why does he think you'd be happy to be his taxi?

gamerchick · 16/08/2024 21:39

No..send him a message saying you're going to bed and he's to go home and you'll see him at some point over the weekend maybe

If you wait simmering to pick him up, it'll end up in an argument. It's not worth it

Ponoka7 · 16/08/2024 21:39

Would you normally be together over the weekend, or do you expect him to drop friends because you are free? Why aren't you invited at all? Tell him the latest that you are willing to pick him up, see what he says back.

rivertine · 16/08/2024 21:37

Blablablabladibla · 16/08/2024 21:36

Is he childless?

Make some plans to see friends or do things you couldn't normally do, so that you make the most of your child free time. I don't mean just tonight but for the rest of your child free time.

I wouldn't be collecting him.

Edited

He is childless.

I have contacted a couple of friends but none are available

OP posts:
rivertine · 16/08/2024 21:37

Runnerinthenight · 16/08/2024 21:36

Do you want to pick him up pissed?

Not particularly, but I knew there would be a chance he'd be pissed after going for the work drinks.

OP posts:
Blablablabladibla · 16/08/2024 21:36

Is he childless?

Make some plans to see friends or do things you couldn't normally do, so that you make the most of your child free time. I don't mean just tonight but for the rest of your child free time.

I wouldn't be collecting him.

Runnerinthenight · 16/08/2024 21:36

Do you want to pick him up pissed?

Zanatdy · 16/08/2024 21:36

rivertine · 16/08/2024 21:35

Thank you.

He said he will be with them for a "little while and will have one or two drinks" and then need me to pick him up.

Tell him you’re going to bed so he can get a cab home

rivertine · 16/08/2024 21:35

Runnerinthenight · 16/08/2024 21:34

Go to bed and ignore any texts!

Thank you.

He said he will be with them for a "little while and will have one or two drinks" and then need me to pick him up.

OP posts:
Runnerinthenight · 16/08/2024 21:34

Go to bed and ignore any texts!

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