To not get why friend is like this?

Second best to busy is the 'I'm exhausted' competitiveness. Ex friend mentioned earlier in a post couldn't meet me and my partner on a Saturday night to stay somewhere because she and her partner were so busy at work, both doing several peoples job that they needed to take the following Monday off to recover from a night away. And had run out of holiday.

The next time I asked her about doing several people's job as well as her own and how many extra hours she was doing. She said she only did her normal hours and left on time. The mind boggles!

I can't be doing with people who are constantly "too busy" anymore. Just feels like a waste of time trying and let's face it, how many of these busy people are going to go and do particularly great things with their busyness?

Give me an average person that can actually be bothered to make time for me any day.

Have a friend like this - been mates for 15 years or so and she’s lovely, but in the last year or so everything in her life is a drama, and everyone is making demands on her and her life is not her own bla bla etc. My life is not much different in terms of challenging family members and stress, but there are only so many times I can wait in all afternoon because she said she was going to pop in for coffee but was then ‘too busy’ and doesn’t text to confirm she isn’t coming until 6pm, by which time I could have gone shopping, arranged to meet someone else, walked the dogs. Done it three times in a row, despite initiating coming around and I am fed up now. Decided not to bother texting anymore and just go and meet other people in stead. If she can’t prioritise her friendship with me enough to meet me when promised, I’m moving on.

Life’s too short.

Asks about a get together in December then says she’s too busy in December? Bloody idiot.

I had a friend who used to arrange to meet me frequently, but always said she couldn't make any firm commitment until just before as she was so busy, but always without fail stuck to the arrangement.

When I moved to London she sent me a card in the post saying she was coming to London for a few days for a wedding, and asked me to call her at a specific date and time, and she would let me know if she could meet. I rang her at requested time and she was in a restaurant with the bride to be and groom, and took great delight in telling me that she couldn't possibly meet me as she was so busy with the pre wedding celebrations! I think I was more confused that she'd bothered to send me a card in the post, rather than the fact she was then too busy to meet!

She tried to do it a second time, when she texted me saying she was passing through London on the way home from visiting a friend, and had a few hours spare in the afternoon. She said she couldn't guarantee she could meet as she might be meeting another friend first for lunch in Oxford street, but would text me at midday if she could. Surprise surprise she texted to say she was free, and could spend the whole afternoon with me, I was so fuming that I didn't reply to the text.

I'm free in December, I'd love to join you and your pal for a few drinks. 😝

I think January is occasionally a better time as it is often a quieter time socially and more relaxing.

This!

Point her in the direction of Giles Coren's piece in The Times today OP.

Just say ‘Oh, that’s a pity. Still, you can join in next time. If your calendar frees up, we’re going out on the 12th!’

I had a friend like this. 'Had' being the relevant word. Used to text me to ask to meet up and say 'let's get together but I'm not free until July' . The text would be sent in Jan.

One of my formerly fabulous friends has now got into the annoying habit of always going on about how busy she is. She has several children, but they are all at school, she doesn't work, has cleaners and a gardener and a husband who does all the morning school runs and all the driving.
Whenever we meet up, I ask her what she's been up to and she always moans about how busy she is.
It's actually got to the point when we've been texting and she's moaned about how busy she is and I've replied back that I'm the same and haven't stopped (whilst lying on the sofa eating biscuits in front of the telly!)

Maybe just an excuse not to socialise then. My friends started telling me to be somewhere two hours before we’re actually due to go somewhere just so I’d actually turn up on time 🤣 but telling me about it wasn’t the wisest move!

I think "no worries, we won't miss you" is the appropriate response.

I’d just say that’s fine, and organise something with the other two. I suspect she’ll probably suddenly become available.

Nah, not ND. Just competitive busyness. If you told her you were going somewhere this weekend she would reply with a whole calendar of future events. But sad really.

Another 'friend' said we must go out to celebrate my birthday but wasn't available for any dates because she had to stay home for her cleaner and wasn't going out for two weeks BEFORE her husband went in for a scheduled op. Why ask me then you self important knob???

This sounds more like time blindness common in ADHD rather than just being rude if she’s always late AND forgetful. It depends though, you know your friend better. I have ADHD and have always been the exact same. It’s not deliberate, I just really struggle with time management and have since I can remember.

Being busy has become a badge of honour.

I have an ex friend who, without fail would tell me every year that my Christmas/ birthday/ card/gift would be late because she was sooooooo busy. Said card/ gift would be sent via her work's post room so not like she had to leave the building. She was also chronically late for everything. It must be hard being so important.

She feels inadequate and likes to think of herself as important and in demand compared to the rest of you, and suggested a date just so she could then bring up how busy she is and ‘’oops, can’t make it after all’’

Either that or she is an introvert or socially anxious and likes the idea of meeting up but then changes her mind when it gets more real (ie, you all start to actually agree a concrete date). I’m an introvert and plans always seem a great idea until later then I think I can’t be arsed (always go though as I don’t like being a let down, but many people will cancel)

She probably doesnt want to miss out so hoping the group can accommodate - because she is sooo busy!

She is very busy telling everyone how busy she is.

Wow. I would definately be "too busy" every time this friend would want to make plans😉

Sounds very annoying.

I agree with previous posters - ask her!