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Original poster

To be a bit concerned about DD's age gap relationship?

106 replies

QuirkyLemonBird · 16/08/2024 19:38

My DD 24 has recently begun a relationship with a man who is 29, I know there is nothing inappropriate about the age gap but I can't help but feel a bit uneasy at the different stages in life they may possible be at. DD is not sure if she wants kids, her new boyfriend doesn't want kids now but in 5 years he will be 34. Now at that age I would imagine a lot of men would want to settle down and have start having children. However, DD has told me she can't see herself wanting children in 5 years when she is 29.

DD has told me she has fallen head over heels in love with him and doesn't know what the best course of action is? They have been dating since the spring so not very long at all. The relationship may not even last so would it be bad advice to advise to DD that she should just take things as they go and enjoy the honeymoon phase of a new relationship and not worry about things which are a few years down the line?

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needhelpwiththisplease · 17/08/2024 07:38

Have you always been an overbearing mother?

LittleLantern123 · 17/08/2024 07:37

Flippin heck, total nonsense!!!
Are we all supposed to exclusively date and enter into relationships with people who were born within 6 months of us?
My husband is 16 years older than me and we have two children, we managed to work out a time line that suited us (because we were both adults that wanted children), my friends husband is 23 years older than her and they also have two children so I really can't see an issue with a 24 & 29 year old!!!!

Josephinesnapoleon · 17/08/2024 07:28

With respect you need to back off. This is far too much and the age gap is fine.

IamnotSethRogan · 17/08/2024 07:25

So you're worried about an unremarkable age gap and a completely hypothetical set of issues regarding a relationship that has just been going on for a couple of months ?

SunnyWavess · 17/08/2024 07:20

Sarah2891 · 16/08/2024 22:28

This must be a wind-up?

My thoughts too!

SunnyWavess · 17/08/2024 07:14

IF this is even real and not a wind up -Jesus wept. I thought it was going to be a 17 year old with a 40 year old when I read the title… 🙄

She’s 24 not 14!! You’re far too invested in this and she’d probably feel smothered if she knew you were putting this online asking for advice. You don’t need advice, it’s her life and she’s a grown adult!!

StarlightLady · 17/08/2024 07:10

Age gap? What age gap? It’s not as if she’s 14 and he’s 21.

Allforareason · 17/08/2024 06:59

5 years is nothing. Pretty sure it’s normal for a lot of people to not be sure whether or not they want kids in their 20s. The 30s and even 40s (especially for men) is when most people choose to have children these days, if ever.

I’m not really sure I understand the problem….

Genehuntsfanclub · 17/08/2024 06:58

I met my husband when I was 24 and he was 29. We've been happily married now for 22 years. For me men the same age were too immature. 5 years is nothing.

Isitjustme20 · 17/08/2024 06:53

I met my husband when I was 21 and he was 28, 10 years later we have 2 kids, didn’t think anything of the age gap and nor did my parents. I think actually it helped as he was more mature and ready to settle down!

Firefly1987 · 17/08/2024 06:15

I knew from the title it'd be a ridiculously tiny age gap. Not disappointed 😆People are really taking things to extremes now.

Purpleturtle45 · 17/08/2024 05:58

My husband and I are 5 years apart and met at similar ages (17 years ago) and I have never considered us to have a significant age gap. It has never given us any issues at all.

Amy1117 · 16/08/2024 23:27

Nothing to worry about. Things change overtime. Someone her age could cause these problems and someone with an age difference might not. Looking 5 years into the future on what may be the case is madness

KimberleyClark · 16/08/2024 23:13

You’re being ridiculous sorry.

RubyWinehouse · 16/08/2024 23:12

They've only been dating for a few months, so I wouldn't worry. 5 years difference in age is nothing. Just let them get on with getting to know each other, maybe they will last and then the subject of kids will come up naturally if it's want they want.

Franjipanl8r · 16/08/2024 23:07

My DH is 5 years older than me. Never ever thought of there being an “age gap” it’s so normal.

Redglitter · 16/08/2024 22:59

DD has told me she has fallen head over heels in love with him and doesn't know what the best course of action is

Talk about jumping the gun. Does she always over think things like this

If they're still together in 5 years then they may very well be marries. Her thoughts might change long before then if he is 'the one' Alternatively he may be more than happy to wait a bit longer, its not like he's said he wants kids then

How about she just goes with the flow & sees how the relationship goes

Oh & 5 years at her age is not an age gap relationship

Spendysis · 16/08/2024 22:53

5 years isn’t an age gap issue at all at that age and she’s 24 an adult

greykimono5 · 16/08/2024 22:40

I’m a similar age to your DD and usually go for men in their 30s 🤣 sounds fine to me…! If she’s happy and the relationship is healthy then I genuinely don’t see an issue

Sarah2891 · 16/08/2024 22:28

This must be a wind-up?

LovelyBitOfHam · 16/08/2024 22:23

How long is it going to be before we have people posting about being worried about a six month age gap? What’s wrong with people these days?

Rocknrollstar · 16/08/2024 22:06

That’s not an age gap to be concerned about. DH is four years older than me and back in the day that was considered quite normal.

Saltedbutter · 16/08/2024 21:56

One of the most ridiculous threads I’ve come across.

Ethylred · 16/08/2024 21:54

Keep out. And stay out until you are invited in.

ItsTheGAGGGGGGGG · 16/08/2024 21:50

GirlOverboard123 · 16/08/2024 19:55

24 and 29 is not an ‘age gap relationship’.

Exactly

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