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AIBU?

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In thinking visiting parents and/ or in laws doesn't count as a holiday?

59 replies

Floogal · 16/08/2024 18:42

Me and DH are in early 40s and have DS aged 9 who has ASD. My DP are in mid 60s and live 4 hours away. MIL is about 2 hours away and is in early 80s with age related ailments. It goes without saying that we see MIL more often than my parents.
The issue is the journeys can be stressful (replacement buses, connecting trains, travel sickness etc) and expensive. My DP seems to be irritated by DS challenging behaviour. MIL means well but she needs some assistance from DH. Other extended family expect to be catered for when visiting (& muggins here has to do the grunt work to get things nice). Also I just feel like a bored spare part and after a few days DS also gets bored and starts acting up. Not forgetting I usually end up having nasty migraines when we stay there.
We haven't had a proper holiday in about 10 years and I really want to relax, actually have some fun, 'make memories ' and reconnect with DH. But because of our hours and annual leave we only get more or less a week together just the three of us. But, as per the question, we end up seeing our families. Also I feel quite envious of friends, family and colleagues talking about their vacations. I want to go away next year!!!!

OP posts:
Flibflobflibflob · 16/08/2024 18:53

Floogal · 16/08/2024 18:52

We usually go up on weekends as well.

How often do you go up?

Flibflobflibflob · 16/08/2024 18:52

Book a holiday, this is not a holiday.

Floogal · 16/08/2024 18:52

Madamecholetsbonnet · 16/08/2024 18:49

I don’t understand why you are using your annual leave to visit MIL who is only two hours away?

That’s a day trip and you don’t have to accompany DP every time anyway.

Book a holiday. Life is short.

We usually go up on weekends as well.

OP posts:
Thursdaygirl · 16/08/2024 18:51

Madamecholetsbonnet · 16/08/2024 18:49

I don’t understand why you are using your annual leave to visit MIL who is only two hours away?

That’s a day trip and you don’t have to accompany DP every time anyway.

Book a holiday. Life is short.

This!

whyNotaNice · 16/08/2024 18:50

Start doing minibreaks the three of you

Madamecholetsbonnet · 16/08/2024 18:49

I don’t understand why you are using your annual leave to visit MIL who is only two hours away?

That’s a day trip and you don’t have to accompany DP every time anyway.

Book a holiday. Life is short.

SpringHexagon · 16/08/2024 18:46

Could you use your weeks holiday together to go away and visit relatives on weekends?

MounjaroUser · 16/08/2024 18:45

If your parents are in their 60s, can't they visit you?

And yes, book a fortnight away! You deserve some lovely family time.

ItsAlrightDarling · 16/08/2024 18:45

It’s a holiday going to stay with my in laws because they live in a beautiful house in a beautiful location (abroad) and they’re fab hosts and spoil us rotten when we’re there! But no, in your situation it doesn’t sound like a holiday at all.
2 hours isn’t that far, can’t you just do weekends and therefore not need to use annual leave?

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