To tell MIL she can't hold baby

I'd fake a migraine and ask to go home.

So many unhelpful comments here. Colds and coldsores (yes, two separate things) should be avoided where possible around newborns. It's quite worrying that so many think the OP is being "precious". Seven weeks is still very young, and I wouldn't want any sickness around my baby either. Glad it was avoided, OP!

You'll be sorry when your dc doesn't have any immunity when she needs to attend nursery and/or other child care settings and spends weeks off being ill. You're being very precious, things like this didn't even cross my mind when I had my dc and they are all healthy teens and pre teens now. Relax and let her hold your dc.

The bad "cold" to me was the rsv. My toddler was wheezing and had temp of 40c. A mad dash to emergency at 5am (when I was 3 weeks pp from a c-section) and diagnosis was croup caused by rsv. Rescue steroid given.
A few days later it was baby's turn. That was three separate emergency visits with admittance to nicu for four days third time I took baby in.

Thanks for posting and reminding about rsv. 👏

Don't kiss the baby and it's fine to ask people to wash their hands before holding. But I'd let her hold it, she'll be desperate to and I doubt she'll spread her cold if she doesn't sneeze all over it....

Given that colds in babies that age can progress to bronchitis, which is the commonest cause of admission to hospital in the age group, taking basic precautions seems prudent.

My 2 week old caught a cold off her big sister, obviously hadn't stopped her from kissing and cuddling her new sibling. But god was it shit. Then caught another off her just as improving after a couple of weeks.

You can't do anything except saline nasal spray at that age, vapour rubs etc are from 3 months. He couldn't feed without the nasal spray but he hated it and contributed to a feeding aversion.

So yeah I would say not happy with someone with a cold holding a newborn.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/respiratory-syncytial-virus-rsv/#:~:text=RSV%20is%20very%20common.,babies%20under%206%20months%20old

for the “just a cold” brigade can I suggest you read the above about RSV.

im pleased to see that the vaccine against RSV is going to be rolled out - that will save lives and prevent life long issues for others.

Really shocked at some of these comments, I would never hold a baby that young if I had a cold.

"A cold" sent my son to hospital and has given him life long breathing issues

Can't believe some people think OP is being precious. There is absolutely no way I'd let anyone ill with a contagious ANYTHING hold my newborn. I know a baby who contracted RSV at 5 weeks old and almost died. 100% no. My own son had a terrible respiratory virus at 6 weeks and was extremely ill, we all got that. Don't feel bad OP you're not overreacting at all.

I understand it will be a difficult converasation. But i would would just be honest while trying to keep it casual - just say something like ‘ sorry, i can hear you are not feeling your best today, we are a bit worried about the baby catching the flu, would you mind if we wait a few weeks until you feel better?’

hopefully she will understand :)

My baby caught a cold from so and so and is now thriving, means nothing.
It's just a cold, means nothing.
You are being ott, means nothing.

In OP's situation, mil has the herpes virus. It is highly contagious. Eruptions are often precipitated by a cold.
The virus is spread by sharing utensils, towels, skin-to-skin contact. The virus can be transmitted to all skin, not just mouth or genitals. You don't need to be exhibiting symptoms to spread the virus.

Babies are particularly susceptible to complications from the virus due to an underdeveloped immune system. The virus can be fatal to babies as it can cause meningitis or encephalitis.
The virus can be transmitted to the eyes and anyone with a weakened skin barrier, ie eczema.

Because it is so common, estimates are that up to 90pc of the world population has one form of it. And because it is so common we tend to minimize it.

OP should not allow contact between baby and anyone who is ill for the simple fact that babies deserve every chance to thrive at their most vulnerable stage without risk. Airways are much narrower so congestion makes it more difficult to breath risking decreasing oxygen saturation leading to hospitalization; illness impacts ability to feed which leads to hospitalization.

Both of my dc have been hospitalized in nicu as newborns, one at 7 days and the other at 3 1/2 weeks. It's no walk in the park. I'll never forget my fbdc screaming during the lumbar puncture ("spinal tap") or that my 2dc was too weak to cry. So, FFS people, stop telling mums they are being too precious with their babies. Any "cold" can become serious for a baby. Why risk it?

If it’s someone who lives in the house it’s harder to avoid obviously, but that doesn’t justify extra unneeded exposure.

So if u have a baby that catches something off your 2 year old and dies do u blame the older child for rest of their life?

But your mother in law hasn’t actually got a cold sore? If she did it would be more understandable. I think it’s very rare that babies get poorly this way.

My 7 week old baby caught a chest bug from adult visitors . He was incredibly unwell and we spent a week with a baby who could hardly breath , couldn’t feed as nose was blocked. It was so worrying .
I would not risk it OP. This is YOUR baby and MIL can wait until next time for a cuddle . Why put a baby at risk?

Yanbu op. In fact when my daughter was discharged from hosp we were advised to avoid people with colds etc.

Don’t let her hold the baby. Not sure why people think you’re being over the top or precious, it should be common sense to protect a little baby.

Can't stand posts like this 😩

Rather late to the party, but wanted to say, as a nanny and MIL just say I’m sorry but I don’t think a baby cuddle is a good idea today you sound as if you have a cold coming on. If she takes offence that’s her problem.

i have cancelled arrangements with my children to visit with babies when I or DH feel unwell, there’s noway I would have had you visit without at least checking with you first, and I certainly wouldn’t hold the baby, much as it would break my heart

So she wasn't even interested in holding your baby afterall LOL, how disappointing...

As a MIL and doting grandma, of course it's reasonable not to hold the baby if you've got a cold or an active cold sore. And guess what - she didn't even ask to! But your tone sounded quite ungenerous and suspicious I thought. Trouble ahead.

My Mil, now 93, wasn't great with young babies and she was very posh whereas I was/am not. She'd say slightly weird/controlling things, didn't like mess. I always forgave her and made allowances because she'd adopted my ex-H and didn't really have experience with young babies. I like to think I was kind and she was in all sorts of ways very kind to me. In later years she gave my children deposits for their flats and we're all mucking in together to help her in her last years.

Well the whole attitude of your posts have given the vibe that you think MIL is somehow grotty or beneath you so I’d say get out of there ASAP. Absolutely no one should be accepting hospitality from someone they’re sat there judging.

This is a dangerous comment. It's not ridiculous. You were lucky, but in my job I've seen first hand the devastating effect of newborns catching the herpes virus from adults with cold sores, it can be fatal.